Bad Day Mama Blues

Sometimes when you’re tired it feels like the world is ending, even though everything is actually ok. So this is a shout out for all the moms out there who had a bad day, or even a bad week, and don’t want to feel alone. If you’re tired of airbrushed social media images of perfection, this post is for you. 

So it all started with running out of coffee. Think alarm bells and

Code red, code red: mom down, mom down!

  

A disaster of epic proportions…leading to an immediate need to at least consume extra chocolate. So how ’bout you join me? Here’s a chocolate quiz. Eat one chocolate for every time you answer yes (chocolate chip or chocolate bar? That’s up to you!).

  1. Did your baby spit milk on you within 3 minutes of getting dressed? (Hey, good job getting dressed!)
  2. Was there a civil war at breakfast over who was looking at whom, followed by the building of a cereal box wall?
  3. Did you have to chase your naked toddler around the house to get his or her clean diaper on, right before you had to leave?
  4. Did you wonder if climbing the piles of laundry counted as a homeschool sport?
  5. Did your dishes magically reproduce the second your back was turned?
  6. Did you daydream about hammocks and drinks with little umbrellas in them?
  7. Did you feel inadequate or incapable…especially late in the afternoon, during that “witching hour” before dinner?
  8. Are you getting a toothache yet? 🍫🍫🍫
  9. Did your kids run screaming or getting suddenly faint and ill when you mentioned chores?
  10. Did it take three tries to call your child by the right name when correcting them?

Well, my friends, you’re not alone! Hope you’re munching something yummy, and ignoring those little ugly voices that sneak up when you’re tired and tell you you’re not good enough. If you’re worn down and feel like you have nothing left to give, it’s likely because you gave it all already. Like a fireman, you’ve been putting out fires all day…so the smoke and dust are a sign you’ve worked hard. Battle scars!

Motherhood is a tough job, and requires all your strength and all your heart. Chances are you’re doing an awesome job…not perfect, but awesome, so keep it up, and here’s to moms everywhere, struggling to love their little ones and make their homes happy, even when disaster strikes, and the coffee runs out! 

Belly Laugh

I blow on your bare baby belly

and you chuckle those first precious laughs

as you cling to my hair.

My heart aches with bittersweet joy

for the giggles I never heard,

the solemn silence of your big sister,

born still. 

Yet I am so relieved you are here safe—

that you are laughing and alive.

On an impulse,

I lay my ear on your warm little chest and listen:

“Badda -boom, badda-boom, badda-boom!”

Thank God, thank God, thank God! Goes your little drum. 

I fight tears as your pull my hair with your chubby little hands

into your sweet, warm mouth. Thank God, thank God, thank God!
  

  

Rain and Nature

Here is a rainy afternoon poem by my oldest daughter, who is 9:

Rain and Nature
The rain drops like manna in Moses’ time.

It’s a gift sent from God, my Lord divine.

The rain gives the flowers a new beginning.

They burst open in colour,

like the song birds are singing.

A dewdrop will do for a beautiful crown,

on top of a flower that grows in the ground.

Sleepy Cats in Sunshine

  
Today as amber warmth pours through

the stained glass windows

like honey on our souls,

we linger like sleepy cats

in sunshine,

praying peacefully.

If you listen quietly 

you can hear our souls purr.

Easter Sunday

Oh sweet relief! Love has triumphed!
No more has death the final word
It has become but a deep bow
In the dance of life
A last embrace
Leading into great light

Easter Vigil

Those who dwelt in darkness have seen a great light…Easter vigil with the kids is always a bit of an adventure, but it certainly makes Easter memorable! Seeing the Easter fire…entering the dark church led by the Easter candle, and slowly seeing the church lit up by tiny pools of candlelight near the joyful faces of each person, all holding their little beeswax candles. And of course, all accompanied by song. It’s something worth staying up for. 

  
   
 

And after the solemn prayers of expectation, the great joy of Easter, a burst of brightness, and the choir proclaiming the resurrection to the sounds of ringing bells and exultant organ. It’s gorgeous, and festive and joyful. And after all this, there was a huge reception downstairs! The kids, excerpt my eldest who stayed awake the whole time, woke from their sleepy spots on their pews and had treats. What kid doesn’t love staying up late and eating chocolate!  Happy Easter everyone!!

Holy Saturday

  
Day of silence

Of exhausted aftermath

Of unbelief

Can it really have happened??

The strangeness of life continuing 

Just as it had before

Yet—on the inside— 

Earth-shatteringly different 

Every mother who has lost a child 

Knows this feeling

In the core of her soul

In her hollowed-out heart

In her empty aching arms

The day after death

For most of us

The long wait for reunion

For resurrection

Lasts a lifetime

One long Holy Saturday 

Until death breaks the silence

And we hear our babies laugh

To endure this day

Stay close to the mother of the one they pierced

No sorrow deeper

No love stronger

No patience more graceful

Than that of the one who spent that Holy Saturday

Weeping tears of hope