Category: Family Life

In Honour of an Aunt I Never Knew

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life3 Comments

Today a Dutch aunt of mine I never met passed away. I only know a few things about her. She was a little girl during World War Two, and her family sheltered Jewish children. As a child she used to climb the house with her brother to play on the roof. Their mom, my granny, didn’t mind. When she grew up she did radio shows for children with her husband, and at some point she moved from Holland to France. Like her mother she was full of oomph: an artist with strong opinions.

Sadly, relations between her and the rest if the family were strained and minimal, as some of those opinions were hurtful. Sometimes the wounds of life tear apart even the bond of siblings. War is a traumatic thing to live through.

But what is wonderful is that in her last few weeks, she was positive about everyone. Perhaps she had run out of energy to resent. Perhaps the dazzling light of death put things in perspective.

Whatever the case may be, may the bitterness of past anger be sweetened with the humble realization that we are all, in our own ways, “een beetje gek:” a little bit crazy, a little bit difficult, a little bit prone to making mistakes.

May the impending warmth of Christmas fill our family, and all others, with forgiveness and peace, for as cliché as it sounds, these are surely the best gifts we can give each other.

“Oh, Holy Night:” A Reflection on Wholeness

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, Ponderings4 Comments

A few evenings ago we braved Christmas tree decorating with our little nest of 5 squirrels, aged 7 years to 8 months. It went surprisingly well. There were no major squabbles, decorations broken, or Christmas tree climbings. The baby squirrel did try to bat at the tree, and sucked on a star, but happily it was wooden.

The best part, besides the baby squirrel’s look of amazement when we turned the lights on the tree, was our two year old’s triumphant “I did it!” after she hung up each decoration. The lowest branches got very decorated! Every time she hung one she leaped into her pleased daddy’s arms and gave him a big hug.

While we decorated we listened to the Classic Christmas playlist on my Songza app (which I totally recommend). Songza has soundtracks for every mood and occasion. It’s like custom radio with no commercials: a digital DJ. Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer is the most popular song in my house, but the kids like some of the traditional carols as well.

As we draw closer to this special time of the year, I’ve been reflecting a little on this holiness we sing about in carols. What does it mean?

When we think of the first Christmas night, the virgin birth, the choirs of angels filling the night sky with song, the birth of a savior, we perhaps think of beauty, light, transcendence, miracle. Wonderful things, but perhaps very ‘other’ than ourselves, very removed from our lives today.

From my limited experience with Hebrew, I believe holy, ‘kadosh,’ does indeed mean ‘set apart’. Is holiness something just for ancient biblical tales then, or is it something that involves me today?

It’s good to remember that this very extraordinary event of the first Christmas took place in very ordinary circumstances. In a stable or cave, surrounded by warm farm animals, munching hay while their breath rose in steamy clouds in the chill night air.

The first visitors were the humble shepherds, not the wise kings, so throughout the Christmas story, the theme of littleness prevails. Glory swaddled in humility, power curled up delicately as an infant in his mother’s arms.

Again, how does this image of holiness relate to me, today? Am I to try to imitate these ancient people in an exterior way, to try to conform to a particular image of goodness?

The more I mediate on the idea of holiness, the more I see that it is precisely in being wholly oneself, that one can reach holiness.

That to try to conform in non-essential exterior things in attempt to appear a certain way, is quite the opposite of holiness, for it is a betrayal of your own wholeness, a marring of the divine image which God made you. You are a unique, unrepeatable creation. Who you are is good; after all, you were His idea! You are loved exactly as you are.

Sometimes along the paths of life we pick up lots of emotional junk; it sticks to us and hides the beautiful image inside. I think the process of holiness is one of removing all this non-essential garbage: fear, pride, resentment, blame, etc to uncover the original creation that is truly you. This is a big process, one of a lifetime, and can feel overwhelming. Ask your Creator to help reveal his masterpiece. A little more each day.

So this Christmas, a season of gratitude, dig deep to find what is unique and beautiful in you, and give thanks for it. Without comparing yourself to others, because it is the sum of all the crazy, amazing people in the world that makes it such a wonderful place. Each with their own gifts to contribute, their own lessons to teach and to learn.

Here is a quote from humorist Erma Bombeck, who was a housewife, mother of three, and prolific writer of newspaper columns and books, including the awesomely titled “The Grass is Always Greener over the Septic Tank.”

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would have not a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.’

I encourage you to embrace your passion, nurture your creativity and believe your dreams can come true. Try something you always wanted to but were too afraid. Make the world a better place as only you, with your specific mission in life, can. This way you’ll be more holy, wholly, you. And that, in my opinion, is exactly what God had in mind.

And now, lest I’m all talk and no action, I’m off to the dishes, part of my particular mission to care for my family.

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Christmas With Kids: Making It Meaningful

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, motherhood1 Comment

Here are a few ideas on how to make this Advent and Christmas season more peaceful and meaningful for your family. Another day I’ll post some links to great ideas from other sites.

1. Be Present

This is huge. Crossing off all the to-do lists in the world can’t make up for not being present to our family.

Don’t try to do everything, and make yourself crazy. Better a few things simply and cheerfully done, than so many done that we are frantic.

Our kids will likely remember our friendly chats and little snuggles more than our elaborate craft projects, especially if the latter are done with impatience and anxiety. They want you and your love, not Martha Stewart. That goes for your husband, too.

As I’ve been told by someone who knows me well: K.I.S.S. “Keep it simple, sweetheart. ”

2. Give

Help your children learn to give. They can find great joy in making cards for relatives or wrapping up some of their little toys to share with friends.

Help them to think of the less fortunate. Let them help choose some toys and clothes to give away to charity. You’ll be surprised how generous they can be.

Help them to give of themselves by calling relatives to wish them a merry Christmas. Hearing their little voices will likely make the day of the person they call.

3. Enjoy

It’s easy to get so caught up in doing that we forget to enjoy. Take time to savor the memories you are making.

Relish that tight squeeze from your toddler. Laugh at those silly antics of your five year old. Listen to that long story of your seven year old. Don’t check your email in the middle of it.

This Christmas is like no other. Don’t take it for granted. It’s appreciating the present moment that gives life depth and beauty.

4. Pray

Because we need to fill up our own well of love so we can pour it out on our family. When we try to run on empty, we deprive everyone of our best.

If we take time to find peace, it will emanate from us. If we don’t, we won’t be able to help anyone else find it either.

So light that Advent wreath candle, and spend a quiet moment staring into the flickering flame. Or pick up an inspiring spiritual book. Take a walk and admire the wonder of creation.

Or even space out in front of the fish tank, watching these little slippery pieces of beauty dance about. Hey, it’s even good for your blood pressure, I’ve heard, which can be helpful in this busy season!

One Simple Craft Idea:

One thing we’ve done this year is cut up a bunch of paper hearts. When the kids do something nice like listen well right away, help a sibling, tidy up cheerfully, etc, we write it on the heart and tape in on our fireplace.

The kids are saving up hearts to buy (with Mummy and Daddy’s help) a gift for a child in Africa through the charity Chalice, which has a great record of financial accountability. We are thinking maybe a school uniform, back pack and shoes, because the kids can relate to this. We have the catalogue so they can help choose. Here’s the link so you can see what kinds of gifts they have:

http://chalice.ca/

Chalice also helps the children and families in the Philippines, so that’s another great option, after the typhoon.

You could do something similar with any charity of course. The idea for the kids to focus on is that love makes the world a better place, and it’s mean to be shared. If we want our kids to have a truly happy Christmas, and not fall into the bottomless “ME” pit, we need to help them think of others. Cause love is something that doesn’t run out when we give it away. Sharing it by doing good makes it grow.

Merry Christmas! God bless you all!

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First Snow

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life1 Comment

Some of my best memories of growing up are of playing in the snow with my brothers. When we lived on Red Mountain Road, outside the village of New Denver, up the highway and 2 km down a gravel road, we had lots of snow. We had to walk on that icy road through the forest to the school bus, all bundled up and roasting in our snow suits, while our breath curled out like faint dragon smoke. Sounds like a grandma story, but it’s true.

When we got home, the things we would do with snow! We’d build sledding runs down the driveway, which my rambunctious brothers would do snowboard jumps from, while I of course slid down on my butt, thanks very much! We’d build giant snow men bigger than us, heaving up the big snowballs together and decorating our creation with a hat and face.

On really cold days, when the top of the four feet of snow was a frozen crust, we’d tromp along on top of it, as delicately as we could in our mega snow boots. We would see how far we could get before our feet would break the crust and leave us half stuck in snow and laughing as we hauled ourselves out again.

When we moved into town, we still had to contend with the snow, and a family chore was shoveling the snow off the roof. It was very satisfying to work together, kind of like an old pioneers, resisting the snow’s urge to wrap our home in a sparkling white blanket of silence. Up there, seeing everything covered in snow, with more thick flakes falling through the trees and kissing our rosy cheeks, you could just take a deep breath and be happy.

Now we’re on the mild west coast so snow is more of a temporary decoration than anything else. Still, there’s wonder and beauty in that first snow fall of the season. Here’s my little one gazing out at it.

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Husbandly Awesomeness

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, Marriage2 Comments

This morning my husband did something so awesome. It was just a little thing, but it totally made my day. He was getting his shoes on for work, preparing to head off to another long day at the office. I was so excited to tell him, after having checked the stats on my blog that morning, that 8 people in Australia had read my blog that morning, and 1 in New Zealand, and well as a bunch here in Canada.

Looking around my rather exploding kitchen self-consiously, I began to backtrack before he had a chance to respond.

“Not that I’m just sitting around blogging all day…I’ve just been posting brief things lately, a little picture with a paragraph or so…”

My husband is really a tidy person, so he could have said, “Good thing, honey, cause this kitchen could use some work, and I wish you’d focus more on the house.” And it wouldn’t have been unreasonable. But he didn’t.

Instead he said, “That’s fine, but be careful you don’t lose followers who like your longer stuff, the ones who read it for your poems and writing. Don’t make it just a Facebook #lol, ;).”

In other words, take the time you need to write. To do your art. To be you.
Cause you’re more important than the house.

If I was a cartoon, little hearts with wings would have come flying out of me and stuck all over him.
I can’t really think of anything more romantic for him to have said!

I brought it up a few nights later to thank him again for understanding me so well, and for being such a good friend, and to say that I really do want to work on having a tidier house so it’s more peaceful for him. Remember that I mentioned he really likes things organized and clean, kind of minimalist, and somehow ended up falling in love with me, a bit of a scatterbrained clutter-bug.

Then he outdid himself again. He hugged me and said, “I’d rather have a messy house and a blog than a clean house and no blog.”

Fireworks! Applause!

It’s another reason why after 8 years of marriage, and 13 together, I’m still head over heels for my husband.

What’s your best husband story? Something little he did that just made your day…Please share your latest incident of husbandly awesomeness!

Have you told him how much it meant to you? Since I told mine about this he has been so affectionate…

Here’s me with my sweetie when we were first dating. Lucky me.

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Comfort Food

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, motherhood, Yummy in the TummyLeave a comment

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Sometimes in this busy complicated world full of parenting experts and conflicting theories, of ever wondering if what you’re doing is right, or if it’s enough, it’s nice to take refuge in doing something simple. My five year old left her afternoon quiet time show to make these banana muffins with me, just in time to pour in the chocolate chips. My seven year old arrived home to a hug, a tickle, and a warm homemade muffin. If nothing else at the end of the day, I’ll have this.

Adventures in Shopping

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, motherhood2 Comments

Life’s better when you’re prepared, so I tend to try to have the cupboards stocked up. When I don’t we end up eating interesting things like chocolate beet muffins (actually not bad!) or quinoa salad with whichever random veggies are left in the fridge…makes you creative! However, especially on these chilly fall days, it’s nice and comforting to know you have many nice things to feed your sweeties, and that you can stay safe and sound at home in your hobbit hole.

Keeping the cupboards stocked for a family of seven isn’t as expensive as you might think, especially when they are so little, but without a car it is a bit of a logistical adventure. Such shopping adventures have some benefits: you meet interesting people and you keep fit.

A few weeks ago I hauled a massive amount of groceries home in the double stroller. My baby rode on top of a blanket-covered mountain of groceries, and my bigger girls took turns holding my three year old’s hands while crossing roads. My toddler was napping at home with my helpful neighbour. Happily we live only about four blocks from the store.

It was a big shop, so about half way through passing up and down each isle in the store my exasperated 5 year old exclaimed, “Are we going to live here?!”

In the last isle, milk and frozen goods, a friendly older gent asked how many days a week I’d trade my kids for his red 78 Chevey pickup… I told him it sounded like a pretty good deal. I could use a truck to get our groceries home! He got my daughter to approve his purchase of a frozen chocolate cake: Christie’s I think.

“My favorite when I was little!” I said.
“I’m becoming little again,” he replied.
“Good idea.”

Near the checkout we were blocking the top of an isle with the double stroller. A lady pushing her little kid in a buggy turned to back up but I maneuvered the stroller out of the way and moved two of my girls with their mini shopping buggies. The lady turned the corner only to have my three year old pop out from behind the bread and step in her way.

“You’re ambushed!” I joked.
“A good ambush,” she said.

I could have hugged her. It’s nice to hear something other than, “Gosh, are they all
yours? Or are you running a daycare?”

We get do fun comments, too, by some familiar staff. “Brought out the whole army today?” a friendly grocer asked once as we paraded about the store with three mini shopping carts and the double stroller. “In full force,” I smiled, “Now let’s hope we don’t run over any little old ladies…”

You can see why we try to do a big shop, so that this Olympic expedition isn’t too frequent….this is my toddler after another shopping trip:

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Pretty much sums it up!

I Want a Power Ranger Suit

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, motherhoodLeave a comment

The other night, literally as we were eating our Halloween candy, after having dressed up, done a candy hunt in the living room, danced to spooky kids music and painted our faces,
my seven year old daughter asked me, “When is the next holiday?”

Aaaaaaaahhhhh!!!

That was the sound in my head.
Deep breath.

“Could we please just try to enjoy this moment before thinking about the next one? When I tell you you’ll start asking every day how many more days till…”

“I know, but is it Christmas? How long?”

Since then we have discussed at least three times what she wants for Christmas, as well as spent extensive time planning what to be next Halloween. So far a white cat, a ‘Spy Fairy,’ a princess with a sparkly but not hoopy dress, and a Power Ranger of unspecified colour. She told me with a sly smile on the bus, “Mommy, I want a Power Ranger suit.”

Sometimes I wonder if this it a bit what God feels like, being asked for stuff all the time, with little time for thank you’s in between the demands. Can you imagine the clamor of all our requests throughout the world:

Dear God, please gimme, gimme, gimme, and also why, why, why did you let this happen and not that….

One would imagine, if God were more like us, that it would be the source of an (al) mighty headache. Thank goodness for the infinite patience, mercy and generosity of God. Thank goodness that he loves each one of us, demanding as we are, having had us in his mind and heart from all eternity…as unique creations, singular expressions of his infinite beauty and diversity.

May he open my eyes to see my children with his loving eyes, especially on the days when they want so many things, and object to so many others. I guess it’s important to remember that they ask about the holidays a million times not to drive me crazy (-er) but because for them, the anticipation is half the fun.

There are other times when a sudden sweetness bursts through their busy little selves and makes me smile. The other day after mass I asked my five year old if she wanted to say a prayer together. “Let’s say the one we wrote for Great-Grandma.” It’s a song we wrote for her, to make her feel better in the hospital. We sent it to her with some lollipops. Cause that’s the part about going to the doctor that’s fun.
Here it is:

Love is love, and we love you.
Don’t you know it’s always true.
Don’t give up,
There’s always hope,
And we’ll love you forever.

Then she smiled at me with her big blue eyes and said, “Mommy, a heart is the shape of love.”

Today we stood at the bus stop in the chilly November air, munching some cheese and crackers as we waited. My daughter asked me for a cracker. It was the last one. I gave it to her, and after a brief moment she broke it and held it up, “Want half?” I couldn’t have been happier if she brought me roses. The little things…

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Call your Granny!

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life2 Comments

Living with my 93 year old Dutch Granny was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. She used to say: “Ik ben jong en ik will wat,” which means: “I’m young and I want something.” She was full of mischief and loved chasing my brothers and I around the house with her stick…after we put rubber bugs on her neck! She tried our new go-cart, and let me push her on the tire swing when we went traveling in Norway.

She also had her dark days and difficult nights. She was living with breast cancer and received regular injections at home.

She had lived through two world wars in Holland and used to dream that Hitler was coming to steal her jewelry box. Sometimes she’d cry in the night, but in the light of the morning she’d say laughing: “I threw him over the balcony!”

Her amazing spirit was a gift to me as a child and gave me a great love for the elderly. I hope many other children will have such a great opportunity to appreciate and care for their older relatives as they become more vulnerable. After all, the measure of our humanity is in how we treat the weak and suffering.

I believe love is the answer to sweeten the humbling frailty of old age, because together we are so much stronger. My Granny, always young at heart, made it to 99.

With that in mind, go call your Granny and tell her how much you love her! Don’t wait for it to be too late.

A Small Zoo

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life6 Comments

Often living in a house with 5 little children can feel rather like running a small zoo, full of strange exotic birds and monkeys who are liable to climb everything, and constantly build themselves habitats all over that seldom-seen thing called “floor.” Like clever chimpanzees they like to create modern art pieces with supplies like finger-paint and spaghetti sauce…any surface is a suitable canvas, from walls to couch covers. Ever innovating, they know how to turn toilet paper and bath water into paper-mâché tile art. Don’t be surprised to find a small one bathing in the bathroom sink, making steam art on the mirror, or having a healthy snack of toddler toothpaste. There is always something fun to do, like scatter puzzle pieces around the confines like wood chips, or paint boxes with the smallest monkey’s diaper cream.

All these endeavors make the animals extremely hungry, so there are frequent feeding frenzies. The feeding area is swarmed with little birds chirping “Me! Me! Me!” and there is no silence until all the little feeding dishes are filled with animal crackers and other suitable snacks. If the offering is deemed worthy, the birdsong “More! More,” will be heard; however, if the animals are unsatisfied with their rations, they will resort to scowls, whines, and rude barking, sometimes followed by a purposeful tipping over of said feeding dishes, or the use of a dish as a small missile, hopefully in the direction of the floor rather than the zookeeper’s head. The baby hippo often gets so messy it is placed immediately in the wading pool, and gets a thorough scrub.

After their meal, the animals usually head off to the recreation area and engage in elaborate displays of beauty, strength and agility, including leaping off the furniture adorned in princess feathers, or circling about repeatedly in brightly patterned skins that would help camouflage them in a tropical coral bed. Like chameleons on hyper-speed, they are liable to change their skins as often as every five minutes, scattering colorful heaps about the confines.

We won’t go into a discussion some of the animals’ bathroom habits, for their lack of refinement in areas of toilet training, their parading about without proper rear covers, and their enjoyment in leaving surprise droppings and puddles for the zookeeper, would be thoroughly reprehensible if they were not such small animals.

It is sometimes with great relief that the zookeeper puts them all in their cages for the night, with the blissful thought that at least for several hours, no busy little creatures will be burrowing about the living room in blanket tunnels, or scattering paw covers outside until the zoo’s garden becomes an Easter egg hunt for missing shoes. How peaceful and sweet the fuzzy beasts seem, with their limbs flung out in the abandon of sleep, and their little purrs and dreamy sighs…

You might think that the evening would bring peace and quiet to the zoo, and rest to the zookeeper, but don’t forget one important thing: night watch! After all, many animals are nocturnal…