Category: Family Life

Happy New Year and hurrah for “The Happiness Project”!

On By Anna EastlandIn Arts and Entertainment, Family Life, Health, Marriage, Writing4 Comments

Lovely readers! How I have missed you all! One New Year’s resolution….to write more often!! To not hesitate to post…to follow inspirations and forget perfectionism. Who knows what good can come from words conceived in joy or sorrow…they are better shared.

There was a gorgeous black and white card I saw when shopping for stocking-stuffers. It was of a little girl wearing fairy wings, standing at the edge of a small precipice. The card read: “But, Mother, what if I fall?” and on the inside, “Oh, my darling, what if you fly?” It almost moved me to tears.  The idea of this daring vulnerability, this willingness to take a creative leap and reach for one’s dreams, despite fear, is to me both brave and beautiful.

I am so excited for the new year–a fresh start and new projects. I have a new poetry book in the works, thanks to the warm encouragement of my mother and sister-in-law who asked me, “So, what’s next?” I realize it gives me great joy to have a project…something to ponder dream about while I am doing the dishes and housework–something to reflect on in quiet moments when I hear the Holy Spirit whispering.So I want to encourage you all to dream big and take lots of little steps each say this year to achieve your dreams…and may this process bring you much happiness!

I am thinking lots about habits and happiness because of a wonderful book my awesome husband got me for Christmas called “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin. She is a hilarious and warm-hearted New York writer, fiery red-head and mom, so of course I love her! She realized one day that while she was basically content, she could still be snappy, irritable and impatient at times, and didn’t always savour the beautiful moments as they came. How, she wondered, could she be more happy, not by making any dramatic life changes, because she already loved her family and career, but by reflecting on what brought her happiness, what brought her stress and grief, and then trying to build habits that were more conducive to joy. She does this by seeking to change her own habits and attitudes, rather than blaming or resenting others for things she finds hard.

She describes her journey of researching happiness, consulting everyone from psychologists to saints to friends in a café, and then testing out their theories by working on important areas of her life each month, like her home, marriage, parenting and career. This might sound intimidating, but it is quite the opposite. Her frank and funny descriptions of trying out her different monthly resolutions are as fun to read as a novel, and really helpful, too. For example, in February, the month she focussed on her marriage, she tried for a week of “Extreme Nice.” No snapping, dumping, nagging, etc. After describing how positively it affected things at home, she jokes about her relief when the week was up, as her tongue was sore from biting it so often!

She found that personal stories and examples do more for inspiring growth that vague stats and studies. Personally, even reading about her happiness project has made me more aware of savouring my own happiness, and seeking to make it grow. As Rubin reminds us, happier people make those around them happier, so being happy is really the best gift we can give to those around us, because joy is infectious. I so recommend this book to help inspire you to seek happiness this year by building habits of happiness and changing your heart so you can find it more easily. Her blog has tonnes of helpful resources, too. Here is the link: Gretchen Rubin

Happy reading! And have fun with your resolutions…I will write more about that another day!

Baby’s New Talents

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life3 Comments

One year olds are always bursting with curiosity and zest for life, and acquiring new talents daily. There are so many ways to make your family laugh, cry and generally go crazy when you’re one! 😉

Here are a few of my son’s new “skills:”

1. Climbing the stairs. Often. Like every time I turn around. And standing there triumphantly half way up and telling me all about it with a huge grin.

2. Standing up in his high chair. Also every time I turn around, and grinning again. This time covered in sticky sauces and waving a spoon.

3. Splashing his older siblings in the bath. Like a tiny happy water beast. And also cleaning the bathtub with the scrubbing brush.

4. Singing along with his siblings, especially to the Beatles’ song “She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah!” Just the “yeah, yeah” part, but with gusto!

5. Climbing on the bathroom stool and stealing his siblings’ toothbrushes to eagerly brush his few teeth. Very concerned about dental hygiene…sort of…

6. Blowing kisses. Pretty charming, and nice addition to “Baaa-byeee!”

7. Patting my back when I rock him on my shoulder– sigh!

8. Turning on the cd player and dancing. Head bopping and butt wiggling to the beat!

9. Enjoying books and pointing at the pictures. He is delighted when his big sisters or visiting relatives read to him.

10. Taking a few steps. After months of delightful ape-like skootching, he has discovered the conventional crawl and also braved a few steps on his two little feet as well.

To anyone concerned about their general fitness and heath I recommend always having a one year old around…It’s like having built in personal trainer 24/7, who is charmingly adorable and constantly in danger…such constant rescuing keeps you on your toes! But when all’s said and done there’s nothing like a snuggle with such a critter to fill your heart to the brim!

 

K.I.S.S…keep it simple, sweetheart!

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, Friendship, Maternal Health, motherhood2 Comments

Sometimes as a mom it can be easy to get drawn in a million directions, until you find yourself stretched thin, as Bilbo Baggins says, like butter spread over too much toast. It could be million good things…family, friends, hobbies, writing, work, reaching out to those in need…all things you’re passionate about, but–when added up–require more than you can reasonably give.

When this happens my mother-in-law, who happily is a great friend, reminds me to K.I.S.S.: Keep It Simple, Sweetheart (or stupid…whatever works!). Time to step back, re-evaluate priorities, and see how things can be simplified so the most important things don’t suffer. What really matters most? Which things are too important to mess up? As my friend Monique told her teenage son when he was feeling overwhelmed: “You can’t do everything well. You can do a few things well or everything badly.”

It’s hard to step back from the frenzy of constant multitasking to quietly reflect. But it is also essential. Socrates said that the unexamined life was not worth living. Can we really say that we are living intentionally, that is with passion and purpose, if we don’t periodically stop to reflect on life?


This rhythm of action, rest, and reflection can help bring more harmony to our lives and help us to be more present to the around us who matter most. This is why we need a special day each week to rest, pray and play (and not just soccer tournaments!). But we also need these moments every day. Tiny moments to gather ourselves and be recollected, so we can better face the chaos. I’m primarily writing this for myself. The other day I was texting two separate people at the same time while looking up something online and feeding my baby. Crazy…

In a recent talk I watched (in an online conference for moms) by a psychologist specializing in eating disorders, the speaker said that one of the things that drains our willpower and saps our strength (besides lack of sleep) is making many decisions.. . This could be in tricky meetings, in navigating traffic, making dinner while juggling kids, or even the many tiny decisions of how and when to respond to the beeps and bells on our phone. So I’m pretty sure that constant multitasking, and all the decision-making it involves, is something that drains our will power and makes us susceptible to impatience and exhaustion. This does not help us be the best mom, spouse, friend etc, we can be.

Dr. Susan Pierce Thompson said there are a few things studies have found will restore our will power, and recharge it like a battery pack getting plugged in. These things make us more able to calmly cope with life’s challenges. These were:

1. Sleep (I’ve heard of it…😉) Without sufficient sleep our will power is seriously compromised. Rather than trying to ruthlessly carry on, Dr. Susan recommends becoming a “sleep-seeking missile.” Get a nap in or get to bed ASAP. So many emotional struggles are simply signs of sleep deprivation. 
2.Temporal, sensory contact with friends…that is social time that is face to face or at least on the phone to hear a friendly voice and get an immediate response to our words. Online interaction doesn’t have this restorative function. 
3. Meditation. Even 3-5 minutes of quiet, deep breathing. In your office…or even bathroom (till the hoards of toddlers find you!) or on a walk outside.
4. Prayer. Brain scans show our bio-rhythms become more calm and we are better able to cope.
5. Gratitude. Make a little list of things you’re grateful for. Take a moment to reflect and give thanks.
6. Acts of service. Doing things for others out of love. Freely making efforts to help another person be happy, instead of feeling sorry for yourself. Trying to do your duties cheerfully. 

If we find ourselves too busy for these things…for taking care of our own need for sleep, prayer and friendship, we should realize we are too busy and that something has to go, for our sake and that of those we love most, who may be getting the short end of the stick. We need to take care of ourselves, or we will run out of fuel to take care of others. This means even finding moments for our passions and hobbies. Things that take us outside of time and make us forget everything else…dance, writing, skating, playing music or whatever makes you really happy. Dr. Susan referred to these kinds of activities as “flow:” things that make you feel like a kid again for a moment, and let everything else fade away, even just for a short time.


So stop, reflect, be grateful, and see what you can let go of so you have more time to play. And with a joyful heart you’ll also be better able to serve and to love.

17-ish steps to making great saint’s costumes

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, Homeschool, Uncategorized3 Comments

As we near all saint’s day, better known by many as the day after Halloween (all hallow’s eve), many busy moms can be found busy sewing saints costumes for their kids. And then there’s me…here’s what my day looked like, broken down in simple steps, in case you’re crazy and want to try it:

  1. Announce to your many munchkins that it is time to pick saints for dressing up.
  2. Listen to flurry of excitment and witness many dresses and scarves being pulled out and tried on.
  3. Pull out scrap material box and fasten on pretty headscarves with hair clips.
  4. Change a diaper and make lunch.
  5. Feed and bathe baby.
  6. Help older kids research saints online.
  7. Help make a harp out of cardboard, tin foil and pipe cleaners.
  8. Clean pee off floor and give toddler a bath.
  9. Try to coach eldest child through anxiety about her future costume’s potential defects due to my lack of sewing expertise. Fail.
  10. Call Grandma for moral support.
  11. Make a second lunch for child who missed it due to researching saints and is currently losing marbles.
  12. Suggest 20 other costume options. Have them rejected.
  13. Feed baby. Try to fashion sheet into nun’s habit. Fail.
  14. Clean baby poop off floor. Bathe baby again.
  15. Listen to eldest child come up with totally new costume idea (using her own, already made clothes) after you already cut a hole in a sheet. Rejoice as it means you don’t have to sew!
  16. Thank God and put in a frozen pizza. Safely stow away costumes in a big bag.
  17. Make silly jokes while you do the dishes and smile cause the madness is over…till next year!

New Quotes from the Peanut Gallery

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life1 Comment


Sizing up her grade:
My almost 5 year old girl: “This is a lot of yogurt, Mum! It’s full up to here.”

Me:“Oh, yeah? If you eat it all up you’ll get really big. You’ll be a giant and you’ll have to be in grade six instead of kindergarten!”

Her, walking by indignantly: “No, that’s silly. If I was a giant I’d be in grade 100!”

Nursing the baby:

Almost 5 year old daughter: “How come you have the milk on both sides?”

Me: “Because I have two breasts and that’s where the milk is made.”

Her: “What if you had three? Here, and here and here.”

Me: “That would be funny. Pig mummies have them all down their bellies so they can feed lots of baby pigs.” 

Her: “And ladies have two in case they have two babies and they’re both hungry at the same time.”

Me: “That’s right.”

Why I recommend camping with kids (despite all the work)

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life1 Comment

  
Recently we went camping with our kids for the first time. This was quite a feat because we don’t own a car or any camping stuff and it took three cars from various generous friends in our parish to ferry our family of 8 there. Two other friends brought more of our stuff. We have such a welcoming parish!

We ordered a giant tent online (my tall husband can even stand up in it) but every thing else we borrowed. It was weeks of preparation… organizing all the supplies, looking up camping lists online and shopping for missing items, loading up on snacky food from Costco, etc. And when we returned it took a week to catch up on all the laundry and get back to normal. So why was it worth it anyway? How come we plan to do it all again next year, and look forward to it already?

  1. Because extended relaxed time in nature with kids is irreplaceable. It’s so much work to even get kids ready to go on a day trip to a park…you spend more time prepping and travelling than being there. Here the ratio is flipped. Unzip tent. Slip on flip flops. Run and play outside. Minimal prep and maximum play. 
  2. Because there’s something so healthy about kids being able to run free in the fresh air, unrestricted by busy schedules or worries about cars on busy roads. My little boy ran himself ragged in the grassy area and jumped and screamed for joy in the lake. Then he flopped down like a tired puppy and napped outside on the grass or by the beach. Once he even fell asleep leaning on a rock wrapped in his towel. For a little city boy with 4 big sisters, this kind of existence was a joyful revelation.  
  3.  Because spending time around the campfire with people you love while a huge yellow moon rises over the hill and stars begin to sparkle is unforgettable.
  4. Because waking up to hearing the birds sing is such a grounding experience…taken out of the frenzy of city life and endless beeps and bells, one feels once again a tiny part of the vastness of creation. Awe.
  5. Because having adventures together as a family is a bonding experience and helps you grow in friendship with each other. People have different love languages, but as much as your kids will always begging you for new stuff, what they really want is time with you. Give them the gift of uninterrupted time with you. 

         

    Summer squabbles and the need for goals

    On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, motherhood6 Comments

    It’s funny; you’d think as a homeschool mom I’d be relieved it’s summer time…time to kick back and take a break from teaching, have long lazy days of relaxing at the beach or park…but actually, it’s been more of me doing household projects neglected during the year while planning camping trips and outings, and the kids spinning their wheels and counting the days till special events.

    So I’ve found it’s more challenging to be home with the kids without the structure of homeschool, than with it. Not that we are super regimented, but each day has its basic routine and learning goals and projects. Without this…we’ve had some fun play for a few weeks, but once we were home sick with a summer cold, a lot of squabbling, pettiness, imaginary insults and hurt feelings. 

    So today I decided that we needed to make some summer goals… something to focus on and feel good about achieving. Because I think we feel better when we achieve something tangible, than when we simply try to amuse ourselves. Summer boredom is not so much due to a lack of entertainment, as a lack of purpose. 

    Here’s what we came up with over morning snack today: 

      
    We’ve stuck it on the fridge with giant magnets from my recently visiting brother, so we can see it any time we need something to do. Rather than the kids destroying one corner of the house while I clean another, they can do something fun, useful and cooperative. Right now as I nurse the baby my 10 year old is playing art teacher and helping the younger ones make imaginary planets on big pieces of paper where she traced circles from plates. I haven’t had a ‘police report’ of fighting, name calling, or hurt feelings for over 20 minutes! 😊🎉🎈 For a while I thought I’d have to set up a desk and stay there all day to record filed complaints…

             

    Of course, as I write this sentence I hear a fight brewing in the dining room over a secret being kept or something…but hey, we will keep trying! One thing is certain, that seeking personal pleasure and comfort above all is a sure path to misery, because when life is centred on yourself, nothing is good enough and everything displeases. When we instead focus on bringing joy to others, life is an adventure without time for boredom, because there is always someone whose day you can brighten. 

    What things do you do as a family to bring joy to others? What summer goals do you have to take advantage of your extra free time? How will you re-create yourself this summer?