Category: motherhood

My first poetry book! “unexpected blossoming: a journey of grief and hope”

On By Anna EastlandIn motherhood, Poetry, Stillbirth, Writing11 Comments

My first poetry book just arrived in the mail! It is dedicated in loving memory of my little daughter Josephine, whom I lost in labour almost two years ago. These poems chronicle my first year after her loss, my grief and love for my baby girl and also the hope I have of one day seeing her again.

Writing has been really therapeutic for me, and helped me give expression to the intense emotions that come with losing a little one. I want to share these poems with other families who have lost babies so that they would know that they are not alone…that others have experienced and survived such a loss. 

I first thought of this project when talking to my friend Anne Schweitzer, who makes “Mother Mary Baskets” for bereaved moms. The baskets contain little comforts like bath salts, lip balm, chocolate, a fancy tea cup, etc as well as a few books on healing and hope after miscarriage. There are also special prayer cards, including one to your baby in Heaven. We thought it would be so nice to include some of my poems in the basket. Now I’ve been able to publish them in a little book, the kind you can carry in your purse and pull out to read in those quiet moments when you have time to release some of the sadness welling up inside. 

Because my main goal is comforting other babyloss moms, every time a copy is sold, another will be donated to a bereaved family. I’d like to reach as many people as possible, so that instead of just an impersonal pamphlet from a hospital, bereaved moms could be given something special, something beautiful, something that honours their love and grief. I hope to donate copies to hospital chaplains, midwives, doctor’s offices, etc, as well as giving them to individual moms. It will be a thoughtful gift for people to give loved ones who lose a baby…something for them to give when they don’t know what to say themselves…

I want to thank my dear friend Rachel Lalonde, who really helped move this project along, taking care of all the technical details and keeping me on track. She also did the delicate rose photographs on the front and back covers which wrap my poems in beauty. I couldn’t have accomplished this without her! And also thank you to my brother Monti, who believed in the value of this little book so much he donated $100 towards the project when it was still just an idea. That very bill will soon be used to order copies to donate!

I’ll keep you posted once my book is available online via the publishing site Blurb, and in the mean time, for anyone near me who’d like a copy, be sure to let me know; when I do a bulk order I’ll be able to save you some shipping costs. It will be a joy to hand it to you!

      

The amorous little gentleman

On By Anna EastlandIn motherhood, Poetry1 Comment

I was just beginning to write this silly little poem earlier when the baby flung back his arm while nursing and hit “post” long before it was ready. Eek! Sorry for those who received this strange snippet in their inbox! Now that the kids have stopped parachuting off their bunkbeds or other similar gymnastic feats, I’ve been able to finish it. Voilá!

The amorous little gentleman

approached with an unabashed smile of delight

and pulling my hair towards him

took a generous chomp of my chin.

He is not at all shy

but perfectly clear

that it’s his utter to delight to bite me

—smooch here and here and here—

If he weren’t so sweet,

like a down covered peach,

perhaps I would try to struggle

but darling he is,

I simply give in

and chubby arms round my neck

give him a snuggle.

  

Summer squabbles and the need for goals

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, motherhood6 Comments

It’s funny; you’d think as a homeschool mom I’d be relieved it’s summer time…time to kick back and take a break from teaching, have long lazy days of relaxing at the beach or park…but actually, it’s been more of me doing household projects neglected during the year while planning camping trips and outings, and the kids spinning their wheels and counting the days till special events.

So I’ve found it’s more challenging to be home with the kids without the structure of homeschool, than with it. Not that we are super regimented, but each day has its basic routine and learning goals and projects. Without this…we’ve had some fun play for a few weeks, but once we were home sick with a summer cold, a lot of squabbling, pettiness, imaginary insults and hurt feelings. 

So today I decided that we needed to make some summer goals… something to focus on and feel good about achieving. Because I think we feel better when we achieve something tangible, than when we simply try to amuse ourselves. Summer boredom is not so much due to a lack of entertainment, as a lack of purpose. 

Here’s what we came up with over morning snack today: 

  
We’ve stuck it on the fridge with giant magnets from my recently visiting brother, so we can see it any time we need something to do. Rather than the kids destroying one corner of the house while I clean another, they can do something fun, useful and cooperative. Right now as I nurse the baby my 10 year old is playing art teacher and helping the younger ones make imaginary planets on big pieces of paper where she traced circles from plates. I haven’t had a ‘police report’ of fighting, name calling, or hurt feelings for over 20 minutes! 😊🎉🎈 For a while I thought I’d have to set up a desk and stay there all day to record filed complaints…

         

Of course, as I write this sentence I hear a fight brewing in the dining room over a secret being kept or something…but hey, we will keep trying! One thing is certain, that seeking personal pleasure and comfort above all is a sure path to misery, because when life is centred on yourself, nothing is good enough and everything displeases. When we instead focus on bringing joy to others, life is an adventure without time for boredom, because there is always someone whose day you can brighten. 

What things do you do as a family to bring joy to others? What summer goals do you have to take advantage of your extra free time? How will you re-create yourself this summer?

Deafening Silence 

On By Anna EastlandIn motherhood, Stillbirth

This is one of the most loving, beautiful and expressive posts I’ve ever read about miscarriage…the hidden quiet, heart shattering pain of it, and the difficulty we have discussing this kind of loss. Well worth reading, both for those who have lost babies, and for those who’d like to understand better how it feels so they can support their families and friends who have.  Click on the link below to read it all if you wish. 

It’s in the quiet moments that I hear it the most. The soft pop and hiss of tiny fractures spreading across my aching heart. It reminds me of that first step you take onto thin ice. You feel …

Source: Deafening Silence 

Happy Mother’s Day!

On By Anna EastlandIn Friendship, motherhood3 Comments

I was so touched to receive this thoughtful little gift, a bag of candies with this lovely quote from a friend of mine. She is very a unassuming and gentle person, but full of warmth and sweetness. She found time, while caring for and homeschooling her 10 kids, to make me this. I think her actions confirm the quote!
 
Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers out there, whether your children are big or small, clambering all over you like squirrels or calling long distance. 

A special hug and prayer for all mothers who have lost children, or who haven’t been able to have any…at least ones staying with them on earth. You desire to love and give yourself to others makes your heart just as much a mother’s heart as mine. May God bless you!  

Above all, let’s remember that with all its joys and challenges, motherhood is a gift…we have been entrusted with the care of amazing little people…may we rejoice in that and be confident that with grace, we can be the mothers we are meant to be, despite all our imperfections. So today let’s not compare ourselves or see how we measure up…let’s celebrate all mothers and encourage each other to keep loving our families with all our hearts! 

Bad Day Mama Blues

On By Anna EastlandIn Homemaking, motherhood12 Comments

Sometimes when you’re tired it feels like the world is ending, even though everything is actually ok. So this is a shout out for all the moms out there who had a bad day, or even a bad week, and don’t want to feel alone. If you’re tired of airbrushed social media images of perfection, this post is for you. 

So it all started with running out of coffee. Think alarm bells and

Code red, code red: mom down, mom down!

  

A disaster of epic proportions…leading to an immediate need to at least consume extra chocolate. So how ’bout you join me? Here’s a chocolate quiz. Eat one chocolate for every time you answer yes (chocolate chip or chocolate bar? That’s up to you!).

  1. Did your baby spit milk on you within 3 minutes of getting dressed? (Hey, good job getting dressed!)
  2. Was there a civil war at breakfast over who was looking at whom, followed by the building of a cereal box wall?
  3. Did you have to chase your naked toddler around the house to get his or her clean diaper on, right before you had to leave?
  4. Did you wonder if climbing the piles of laundry counted as a homeschool sport?
  5. Did your dishes magically reproduce the second your back was turned?
  6. Did you daydream about hammocks and drinks with little umbrellas in them?
  7. Did you feel inadequate or incapable…especially late in the afternoon, during that “witching hour” before dinner?
  8. Are you getting a toothache yet? 🍫🍫🍫
  9. Did your kids run screaming or getting suddenly faint and ill when you mentioned chores?
  10. Did it take three tries to call your child by the right name when correcting them?

Well, my friends, you’re not alone! Hope you’re munching something yummy, and ignoring those little ugly voices that sneak up when you’re tired and tell you you’re not good enough. If you’re worn down and feel like you have nothing left to give, it’s likely because you gave it all already. Like a fireman, you’ve been putting out fires all day…so the smoke and dust are a sign you’ve worked hard. Battle scars!

Motherhood is a tough job, and requires all your strength and all your heart. Chances are you’re doing an awesome job…not perfect, but awesome, so keep it up, and here’s to moms everywhere, struggling to love their little ones and make their homes happy, even when disaster strikes, and the coffee runs out! 

Meet Tami Kiser, mom of 10, who organized The Catholic Conference 4 Moms!

On By Anna EastlandIn motherhoodLeave a comment

Interview with Tami Kiser, founder and creator of http://www.CatholicConference4Moms.com


Please tell us a little bit about yourself:

Gladly. I am Tami Kiser, aka, Smart Martha in some circles. I live in Greenville, SC with my husband of 28 years. We have 10 children (ages 3-26) and 5 grandchildren. DH is a headmaster at a Catholic School and most of my time is spent managing this large brood providing family dinners, essay edits, haircuts, rides, stories, and lots of advice (mostly unsolicited). I also teach dance part-time and work on this exciting conference whenever I get the chance.

What is the “Faces of Mercy” 2016 Catholic Conference 4 Moms?

It is simply an online conference for this coming Year of Mercy, particularly catered to moms. It is set up so that Mom’s groups or parishes can use the presentations to put together their own simple conference/retreat/mom’s day out. So far, we have about 25 parishes all over the US hosting the conference. But, starting January 20, we are opening it up for individual moms to attend at their own convenience in their own homes throughout the rest of Lent.

What gave you the inspiration to do a project like this?

I was familiar with online webinars. I was also familiar with Protestant groups doing a similar thing focused on just one presenter (for 1000’s of $!). And I also ran a mom’s ministry, called Smart Martha, where I traveled to parishes and held one day seminars. I blended all these concepts together and came up with this idea. I consecrated the whole thing to Mary, and this is where we are today.

I understand the need for moms to be encouraged in their vocation and faith. I also understand how difficult that can be to fit into busy schedules. This conference with the focus on Mercy is the perfect solution. It’s even better if moms can find other moms to share it with–in a parish mom’s meeting, or at a friend’s home while kids play. And if that’s not possible, then part of an early morning quiet time or a treadmill run at the gym. The conference has the flexibility that moms need along with the great messages moms need to hear.

So the day the conference begins is February 20th?

Yes, this is the day which we are asking everyone to set aside for the conference so that we can all be united in mission and in prayer on this day. We will be live streaming a presentation by Jennifer Fuller at 10:30 EST and at 3:00 EST, we are asking everyone to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy together. But that being said, the online conference is very flexible and can accommodate many different days and weekends. If that day doesn’t work for a mom or even a mom’s group, the conference is still available from February 20th to the end of Lent in order to accommodate everyone’s busy schedules. So anytime during Lent, you can view these presentations.

Is there a cost? 

For individual moms online, registration is about the price of one book, $14. Not only does this get them full online access throughout Lent, but it also gets them a conference “swag bag” which is full of online gifts and offers suitable for mothers. It also includes every presentation as a downloadable MP3. As part of the publicity of the conference, there will be great prizes awarded every day from February 8- February 25. There are discounts available through the conference affiliates for an even lower registration price.

Thank you for the interview! For all my readers, please feel free to use my coupon code “Eastland” to save $4 and register for only $10.99 (American)!  Register here! Enjoy!

The Catholic Conference 4 Moms

On By Anna EastlandIn motherhoodLeave a comment

Anything that makes someone feel more loved is an act of mercy. 


Have you been looking for a way to grow in your faith this Lent? Perhaps you wish you could get away on retreat, but with all your little kids at home you can’t. Is there nothing for you? There is! Check out this year’s Catholic Conference 4 Moms. This year’s topic is the many Faces of Mercy. It is inspired by the Holy Father’s proclamation of the Jubilee year of Mercy.

We are called to share God’s love and mercy with others as well as to receive it ourselves. How can you spend these 40 days aquiring more merciful heart? One of the best ways to start is by hearing personal stories of how mercy touched other people’s lives and transformed them.

To hear many uplifting talks by moms, priests and theologians from the convenience of your home, sign up for the Catholic conference for moms. Feel connected and be inspired. Most conferences cost hundreds of dollars, but this online one is only $14.99, or use my coupon code “Eastland” to save $4 and make it just $10.99!  This includes a digital “swag bag” full of goodies like free books to download and discounts at your favourite Catholic websites such as Holy Heroes and Fransciscan Media.

The 2016 “Faces of Mercy” Conference will offer:
-20 + All New Popular Presenters and Presentations (Check them out!)
-Plus a Spanish Track, featuring presentations specifically for Hispanic moms
-Every Presentation is available all of the time, throughout all of Lent, after the conference begins Saturday, Feb. 20th.
-Live-Streamed Session Saturday Morning Feb. 20th featuring Jennifer Fulwiler
-And Live-Streamed Session Saturday Afternoon of the Divine Mercy Chaplet
– HD Videos also Available as MP3 /Podcasts that you can download
-Valuable Digital Swag Bags for all Online Attendees
-Available for individuals Online or for your Mom’s group!

I loved last year’s talks, like having heart to hearts over coffee with awesome friends, and hope you’ll join us this year!

Click here to see the website:

Faces of Mercy

Messy, vulnerable perfection…

On By Anna EastlandIn motherhood, Ponderings11 Comments

I heard a story of a baby conceived in difficult circumstances…a troubled teenage mom, the father not involved, the family in distress and full of uncertainty. And I thought about Christmas—the Holy Family…young, poor, without a place to stay, rejected…a bad scene—from the outside. And inside, for the eyes of faith: warmth, love, light, God’s graceful providence. And hope. Hope because God in His great mercy was willing to share in our fragile human life…in the messy, vulnerable perfection that is a baby. 

Do we reject Him? Do we run away from the source of all goodness because He has the smell of a stable? Because He is okay with a bed of straw? Do we keep seeking Him in the silken sheets of palaces, because we want a God made in our image? And this is the image we want: riches, comfort, power, control. Not the messy, vulnerable perfection that is a baby. 

These are not new ideas, but I think they are worth revisiting. Because embracing new life, no matter what the circumstances, is a way to embrace God. Trusting that He is with us in everything, and is able to bring good out of everything, even when we mess up, even when things don’t go according to our plans—made with our small human minds and our limited vision. Even when our plans don’t include the messy, vulnerable perfection that is a baby. 

But maybe it’s precisely that baby who will be our salvation, who will bring untold goodness to the world, who will change our lives and our hearts for the better. This Christmas season, which is still going on, let’s try to remember that in embracing our human reality, with all its difficulties, we are also embracing God, who has entered into it…Who has raised it up to touch the Divine. When we eventually caress the face of that baby, born unplanned and unexpected, let us realize we are also touching the face of God, who enters our lives with His unexpected plans, and changes them forever. 

 

Two Pounds Richer

On By Anna EastlandIn Friendship, Maternal Health, motherhood2 Comments

  

Have you ever wondered what the best gift for a mom with a new baby is? How you could best help her feel supported while she recovers from birth and gets into the swing of nursing? Well here is a simple way to be a hero, and the best of friends: organize a meal train for her! 

There is a simple website called Meal Train which will help you do just that. Simply invite all her friends and family by email to sign up for a date on your meal train page and you’re done. The site will lets the mom know when someone signs up to help out and even send reminder emails to people the day before their meal drop off day. 

There is a place to put favourite meals or let people know about allergies or any other preferences so that the food can be the most helpful. You can suggest fruit and veggie trays, muffins and other snacks as well as meals. I recommend scheduling the meals every two days, rather than every day, as the help lasts longer then, and leftovers can be used up on alternate days. 

I have been the very lucky recipient of meal trains since I had my second baby and it is always such a help. The nicest thing for a mom with a new baby is to be mothered a bit! I want to send a big thank you to all who have spoiled me in this delicious way! You are really a special part of making my baby’s first days more smooth and peaceful.

 
 I am very moved by the fact that some ladies who helped me only know me because I smile at them when we are both tending to our little noisy ones at the back of the church during Mass. You never know what a friendly smile will bring your way!

And best of all, thanks to your yummy spanakopita, Greek salad, cake, roasted butternut squash soup, homemade lasagna, chicken and potatoes, chilli, muffins, cookies, fruit, chocolate and so much more, my little three week early baby has gained 2 lbs! Thanks for making his milk, and my life, so much richer by your generous love!