Happy Mother’s Day, everyone! I found this under my door last night…made me cry! My 10 year old made it to surprise me.
Tag: Children
Learning to Pray
This lovely little picture is by my 6 1/2 year old daughter, who is much better at drawing than me! She is very excited about her First Communion coming up this June, and likes to express it through art. She told me, “This is a priest teaching a little girl the same prayer he learned when he was a little boy.”
Here is one more drawing:
Happy Spring!
17-ish steps to making great saint’s costumes
As we near all saint’s day, better known by many as the day after Halloween (all hallow’s eve), many busy moms can be found busy sewing saints costumes for their kids. And then there’s me…here’s what my day looked like, broken down in simple steps, in case you’re crazy and want to try it:
- Announce to your many munchkins that it is time to pick saints for dressing up.
- Listen to flurry of excitment and witness many dresses and scarves being pulled out and tried on.
- Pull out scrap material box and fasten on pretty headscarves with hair clips.
- Change a diaper and make lunch.
- Feed and bathe baby.
- Help older kids research saints online.
- Help make a harp out of cardboard, tin foil and pipe cleaners.
- Clean pee off floor and give toddler a bath.
- Try to coach eldest child through anxiety about her future costume’s potential defects due to my lack of sewing expertise. Fail.
- Call Grandma for moral support.
- Make a second lunch for child who missed it due to researching saints and is currently losing marbles.
- Suggest 20 other costume options. Have them rejected.
- Feed baby. Try to fashion sheet into nun’s habit. Fail.
- Clean baby poop off floor. Bathe baby again.
- Listen to eldest child come up with totally new costume idea (using her own, already made clothes) after you already cut a hole in a sheet. Rejoice as it means you don’t have to sew!
- Thank God and put in a frozen pizza. Safely stow away costumes in a big bag.
- Make silly jokes while you do the dishes and smile cause the madness is over…till next year!
New Quotes from the Peanut Gallery
Sizing up her grade:
My almost 5 year old girl: “This is a lot of yogurt, Mum! It’s full up to here.”
Me:“Oh, yeah? If you eat it all up you’ll get really big. You’ll be a giant and you’ll have to be in grade six instead of kindergarten!”
Her, walking by indignantly: “No, that’s silly. If I was a giant I’d be in grade 100!”
Nursing the baby:
Almost 5 year old daughter: “How come you have the milk on both sides?”
Me: “Because I have two breasts and that’s where the milk is made.”
Her: “What if you had three? Here, and here and here.”
Me: “That would be funny. Pig mummies have them all down their bellies so they can feed lots of baby pigs.”
Her: “And ladies have two in case they have two babies and they’re both hungry at the same time.”
Me: “That’s right.”
Wildflowers
Pretty, huh?
Summer squabbles and the need for goals
It’s funny; you’d think as a homeschool mom I’d be relieved it’s summer time…time to kick back and take a break from teaching, have long lazy days of relaxing at the beach or park…but actually, it’s been more of me doing household projects neglected during the year while planning camping trips and outings, and the kids spinning their wheels and counting the days till special events.
So I’ve found it’s more challenging to be home with the kids without the structure of homeschool, than with it. Not that we are super regimented, but each day has its basic routine and learning goals and projects. Without this…we’ve had some fun play for a few weeks, but once we were home sick with a summer cold, a lot of squabbling, pettiness, imaginary insults and hurt feelings.
So today I decided that we needed to make some summer goals… something to focus on and feel good about achieving. Because I think we feel better when we achieve something tangible, than when we simply try to amuse ourselves. Summer boredom is not so much due to a lack of entertainment, as a lack of purpose.
Here’s what we came up with over morning snack today:
We’ve stuck it on the fridge with giant magnets from my recently visiting brother, so we can see it any time we need something to do. Rather than the kids destroying one corner of the house while I clean another, they can do something fun, useful and cooperative. Right now as I nurse the baby my 10 year old is playing art teacher and helping the younger ones make imaginary planets on big pieces of paper where she traced circles from plates. I haven’t had a ‘police report’ of fighting, name calling, or hurt feelings for over 20 minutes! 😊🎉🎈 For a while I thought I’d have to set up a desk and stay there all day to record filed complaints…
Of course, as I write this sentence I hear a fight brewing in the dining room over a secret being kept or something…but hey, we will keep trying! One thing is certain, that seeking personal pleasure and comfort above all is a sure path to misery, because when life is centred on yourself, nothing is good enough and everything displeases. When we instead focus on bringing joy to others, life is an adventure without time for boredom, because there is always someone whose day you can brighten.
What things do you do as a family to bring joy to others? What summer goals do you have to take advantage of your extra free time? How will you re-create yourself this summer?
This Father’s Day, every baby counts!
On Father’s Day we had a funny little thing happen. James and I were on the bus with the kids going to meet my dad for lunch. As people usually do, they commented on the number of our kids with surprise. I like to joke that as a homeschool mom I do my best to promote basic numeracy skills in the community. Like counting up to six. People frequently do that. They use their finger and point “1…2…3…4…5…6! Are they all yours?” “Yup.” Then they might shake their heads in disbelief or give a thumbs up. “That’s awesome! You don’t see big families that much anymore…”
But this time was a little different. A slightly bedraggled older man got on the bus and sat next to an Asian grandma who began to point and count in Chinese. “They all yours?” he asked. “Yes,” I smiled. “Seven, eh?” “Yes…” I replied somewhat mystified…because it’s true. I have six here and one in Heaven. Josephine would be about 20 months if she were alive. “Five girls and two boys?” he asked. “Yes!” I replied, even more surprised, because he even got that part right. I looked around but there were no other kids on the bus besides us.
And if that wasn’t strange enough, when we are walking back home a lady with two kids, a baby on her back and a toddler having a tantrum on the ground, looked at us and counted. “Wow, all yours?” Then she said to her little boy, “Look at that, seven kids and not one of them having a fit!”
Funny, right? It was as if little Josephine wanted to wave hi to Daddy on Father’s Day, to reassure him that she’s right here with us, and that he’s her daddy still. How did those people see her? I don’t know. Maybe their angels showed them. Or maybe they’re terrible at counting. But however it happened, one thing is certain: every baby counts, no matter how short their life, and they are always, always, always a part of their families.
Why good values alone aren’t good enough in parenting
My husband and I went to a really great parenting talk last week by educator Andrew Mullins from Australia… I liked it a lot, and not just because of his charming accent, which made everything sound so friendly and hopeful! It was very positive and practical, and focussed on 15 specific parenting tips or goals to consider in helping prepare your child for adult life.
One of the things that struck me was that he emphasized the need to help your children build specific good habits, or virtues, that put together would give them strength of character and the ability to live well as adults. Rather than focussing on trying to make them happy now, he encouraged parents to look ahead and help kids acquire the skills they will need to live as happy adults…things like honesty, courage, perseverance, generosity and a spirit of service.
These virtues aren’t aquired simply by parents having good values themselves, although of course that’s important, too. But values without specific expectations to live up to them are like good intentions…nice but not necessarily effective. “I meant to finish the dishes…but I got distracted…” So it’s important to let your kids know what you expect and to follow up and make sure it happens. Inspecting their work makes sure it gets done and also gives kids a chance to feel proud when they’ve done it well and impressed you. It can be a lot of work to get kids to do chores, but feeling useful actually makes them happier in the long run.
Habits, Mullins explained, are formed by repeated actions, so if you want your kids to acquire them, you need to help them practice those good actions (like making their beds, completing a task, helping others) over and over. It’s also good to explain to them why these things are important, so they can make their actions their own, and form their minds. So the key combination is a solid explanation and many opportunities to repeat the good action. Whether or not they like this action, for example helping with the dishes, doesn’t matter that much. What matters is that they get used to it, so that later, when they grow up, getting them done will be automatic.
Good parenting, explained Mullins, requires a balance between being affectionate (very important) and being sufficiently demanding. Usually we can lean more towards one or another, but a balance is important here. We want to help our kids grow and strive for greatness with a lot of affection and support, knowing how to help them do their best…without being either harsh or overly indulgent.
Mullins, who I believe did his thesis in neural development and virtue acquisition, described how mirror neurons in young children help them learn by copying or mirroring what they see. He joked that to see our kids worst defects, we had only to look in the mirror! But this goes for their virtues as well. Kids will copy what they see, therefor it’s of utmost importance that we strive to live well ourselves, and to do it with a smile!
I really encourage you to check out his book, which has many more helpful tips, written in short, straightforward chapters for busy parents! My husband and I have been reading this book a little at a time together, and then taking a few notes about a concrete way we could apply this advice in our family life. We even had a family meeting to talk about it and make a plan together.
Parenting for Character: Equipping your Child for Life
Perhaps some of you were also there at the talk…what did you find the most helpful? Or what is the best parenting advice you’ve been given…whether there or elsewhere?
An Eastland Family Adventure
You might not know it, because I don’t often get around to posting photos of them, but we do go on a fair number of family adventures. Here’s some snapshots of one of them…taking our family outings to new heights! 😉
Yes, Grandma, your little darlings rode the gondola up the misty mountain! By the top, we could hardly see a thing. It was a little chilly…
There was still a bit of snow….enough for Daddy to throw a snow ball!
Don’t worry, Grandma, we didn’t ride these!
We followed some large tracks…until we found the grizzly bears.
But they were very mellow…lounging in their baths complacently.
Goodbye, bear!
After all this, an amusing logger show and a wild bird show, we were ready for hot chocolate! Our city kids were very happy to cradle their cups at Starbucks after their chilly but very civilized adventure up the mountain!
Bad Day Mama Blues
Sometimes when you’re tired it feels like the world is ending, even though everything is actually ok. So this is a shout out for all the moms out there who had a bad day, or even a bad week, and don’t want to feel alone. If you’re tired of airbrushed social media images of perfection, this post is for you.
So it all started with running out of coffee. Think alarm bells and
Code red, code red: mom down, mom down!
A disaster of epic proportions…leading to an immediate need to at least consume extra chocolate. So how ’bout you join me? Here’s a chocolate quiz. Eat one chocolate for every time you answer yes (chocolate chip or chocolate bar? That’s up to you!).
- Did your baby spit milk on you within 3 minutes of getting dressed? (Hey, good job getting dressed!)
- Was there a civil war at breakfast over who was looking at whom, followed by the building of a cereal box wall?
- Did you have to chase your naked toddler around the house to get his or her clean diaper on, right before you had to leave?
- Did you wonder if climbing the piles of laundry counted as a homeschool sport?
- Did your dishes magically reproduce the second your back was turned?
- Did you daydream about hammocks and drinks with little umbrellas in them?
- Did you feel inadequate or incapable…especially late in the afternoon, during that “witching hour” before dinner?
- Are you getting a toothache yet? 🍫🍫🍫
- Did your kids run screaming or getting suddenly faint and ill when you mentioned chores?
- Did it take three tries to call your child by the right name when correcting them?
Well, my friends, you’re not alone! Hope you’re munching something yummy, and ignoring those little ugly voices that sneak up when you’re tired and tell you you’re not good enough. If you’re worn down and feel like you have nothing left to give, it’s likely because you gave it all already. Like a fireman, you’ve been putting out fires all day…so the smoke and dust are a sign you’ve worked hard. Battle scars!
Motherhood is a tough job, and requires all your strength and all your heart. Chances are you’re doing an awesome job…not perfect, but awesome, so keep it up, and here’s to moms everywhere, struggling to love their little ones and make their homes happy, even when disaster strikes, and the coffee runs out!
Just East Of Crazy Land 