All tuckered out from Christmas…
Santa Baby
All tuckered out from Christmas…
Tag: Christmas
Christmas Candles Aglow
Merry Christmas from Crazy Land! 
A Moment with Mercy
I didn’t write on my blog yet this Christmas because I didn’t want to make people sad, and yet I couldn’t force myself to be unnaturally chipper. So here I am again, crawling out from under the Christmas tree like a grumpy hedgehog with decorations stuck all over, to share with you what it was really like.
I wish I could say Christmas was all sparkles and magic, and that it was filled with Hallmark moments. I wish I could say that it’s wrong that Christmas is hard when you’re grieving, but I can’t. Normally, the manger scene with it’s beautiful image of family, the warm circle of love around a newborn baby, brings me such consolation, but this year it hurt to look at it. I could relate better to the empty manger beforehand, but the sweet statue of the baby Jesus just makes me long for mine.
This year, before the child came down from Heaven, mine went up. And this bittersweet exchange brings me to tears. God didn’t ask me for anything more than he gave himself, but then, he is very generous, so it was a lot.
My other children had a lovely time with our wonderful family who came to be with us on Christmas Day, and I am so glad, but for me it wasn’t really Christmas until we decorated baby Josephine’s wreath on Boxing Day. Our neighbours who are good friends of ours came along, too. That meant a lot.
There isn’t much I can do to feel better right now, except to reach out to others in my brokenness, and let them know they are not alone in their pain. As my friend Julia wisely pointed out to me, everyone has some secret burden weighing on their heart. Perhaps me being vulnerable can open the door for others to share their struggles as well, and in the sharing, be consoled.
It has been said that it is in showing mercy that we give others hope, so this is my goal, to spread a little more hope. So as part of my own healing, I am reaching out on behalf of a family in the Philippines who is struggling and needs support, and sharing their story with you once more.
They are my friend Christina’s nanny Mercy’s family. I’ve met Mercy a few times. The first time she came with Christina and her mom Lynne to help me organize and declutter my house. A task equivalent to rollerblading up Mt. Everest, but they did wonders, and took away a van load of stuff. For me this was a great act of mercy!
The second time was earlier this month, to talk about the idea of starting a group funding campaign for Mercy’s extended family (parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, etc) whom she has supported by herself for over 20 years. With shy reluctance, she began to tell me her story. Growing up too poor to own chairs. Eating the cheapest dried fish with her siblings. The region plagued by unemployment. Then, long years away from her home, sending back every spare penny, as she still does.
And now, she has been forced to take her father home from palliative care because the hospital cost too much. A while back, sitting by his bedside, she complained of the heat, to see if he still understood her words. He tried to fan her despite hardly being able to move, because she is still his baby, even though he is dying. Her diabetic mother is unable to visit the doctor for treatment and medicine, again, because it cost too much.
Mercy’s meagre savings were recently drained by her niece Chloe being born very sick and needing a month in intensive care. Chloe hasn’t been able to breast feed, but paying for formula means that the other family members eat less, since it’s about $90 a month. Chloe’s mother is planning to move to Canada as well to help support the family and will have to leave her baby girl behind. What a choice to have to make, to leave your baby, in order to make sure she has enough to eat!
Now Mercy is trying to buy a small piece of land further away from the unsafe volcano base where her family currently lives, and the second half of the payment is due in early January. Her fundraiser has just over a day left. Would you consider helping her out by making a donation or sharing her page with others? Perhaps you could give $10, the price of one fancy New Year’s Eve drink, to symbolically toast the good health of Mercy and her family. Or perhaps if Santa has been generous with you this year, you could give more.
My kids saved up $35 in change by doing extra chores and proudly donated it. I added a little more. Every bit helps.
“Oh, Holy Night:” A Reflection on Wholeness
A few evenings ago we braved Christmas tree decorating with our little nest of 5 squirrels, aged 7 years to 8 months. It went surprisingly well. There were no major squabbles, decorations broken, or Christmas tree climbings. The baby squirrel did try to bat at the tree, and sucked on a star, but happily it was wooden.
The best part, besides the baby squirrel’s look of amazement when we turned the lights on the tree, was our two year old’s triumphant “I did it!” after she hung up each decoration. The lowest branches got very decorated! Every time she hung one she leaped into her pleased daddy’s arms and gave him a big hug.
While we decorated we listened to the Classic Christmas playlist on my Songza app (which I totally recommend). Songza has soundtracks for every mood and occasion. It’s like custom radio with no commercials: a digital DJ. Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer is the most popular song in my house, but the kids like some of the traditional carols as well.
As we draw closer to this special time of the year, I’ve been reflecting a little on this holiness we sing about in carols. What does it mean?
When we think of the first Christmas night, the virgin birth, the choirs of angels filling the night sky with song, the birth of a savior, we perhaps think of beauty, light, transcendence, miracle. Wonderful things, but perhaps very ‘other’ than ourselves, very removed from our lives today.
From my limited experience with Hebrew, I believe holy, ‘kadosh,’ does indeed mean ‘set apart’. Is holiness something just for ancient biblical tales then, or is it something that involves me today?
It’s good to remember that this very extraordinary event of the first Christmas took place in very ordinary circumstances. In a stable or cave, surrounded by warm farm animals, munching hay while their breath rose in steamy clouds in the chill night air.
The first visitors were the humble shepherds, not the wise kings, so throughout the Christmas story, the theme of littleness prevails. Glory swaddled in humility, power curled up delicately as an infant in his mother’s arms.
Again, how does this image of holiness relate to me, today? Am I to try to imitate these ancient people in an exterior way, to try to conform to a particular image of goodness?
The more I mediate on the idea of holiness, the more I see that it is precisely in being wholly oneself, that one can reach holiness.
That to try to conform in non-essential exterior things in attempt to appear a certain way, is quite the opposite of holiness, for it is a betrayal of your own wholeness, a marring of the divine image which God made you. You are a unique, unrepeatable creation. Who you are is good; after all, you were His idea! You are loved exactly as you are.
Sometimes along the paths of life we pick up lots of emotional junk; it sticks to us and hides the beautiful image inside. I think the process of holiness is one of removing all this non-essential garbage: fear, pride, resentment, blame, etc to uncover the original creation that is truly you. This is a big process, one of a lifetime, and can feel overwhelming. Ask your Creator to help reveal his masterpiece. A little more each day.
So this Christmas, a season of gratitude, dig deep to find what is unique and beautiful in you, and give thanks for it. Without comparing yourself to others, because it is the sum of all the crazy, amazing people in the world that makes it such a wonderful place. Each with their own gifts to contribute, their own lessons to teach and to learn.
Here is a quote from humorist Erma Bombeck, who was a housewife, mother of three, and prolific writer of newspaper columns and books, including the awesomely titled “The Grass is Always Greener over the Septic Tank.”
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would have not a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.’
I encourage you to embrace your passion, nurture your creativity and believe your dreams can come true. Try something you always wanted to but were too afraid. Make the world a better place as only you, with your specific mission in life, can. This way you’ll be more holy, wholly, you. And that, in my opinion, is exactly what God had in mind.
And now, lest I’m all talk and no action, I’m off to the dishes, part of my particular mission to care for my family.
Christmas With Kids: Making It Meaningful
Here are a few ideas on how to make this Advent and Christmas season more peaceful and meaningful for your family. Another day I’ll post some links to great ideas from other sites.
1. Be Present
This is huge. Crossing off all the to-do lists in the world can’t make up for not being present to our family.
Don’t try to do everything, and make yourself crazy. Better a few things simply and cheerfully done, than so many done that we are frantic.
Our kids will likely remember our friendly chats and little snuggles more than our elaborate craft projects, especially if the latter are done with impatience and anxiety. They want you and your love, not Martha Stewart. That goes for your husband, too.
As I’ve been told by someone who knows me well: K.I.S.S. “Keep it simple, sweetheart. ”
2. Give
Help your children learn to give. They can find great joy in making cards for relatives or wrapping up some of their little toys to share with friends.
Help them to think of the less fortunate. Let them help choose some toys and clothes to give away to charity. You’ll be surprised how generous they can be.
Help them to give of themselves by calling relatives to wish them a merry Christmas. Hearing their little voices will likely make the day of the person they call.
3. Enjoy
It’s easy to get so caught up in doing that we forget to enjoy. Take time to savor the memories you are making.
Relish that tight squeeze from your toddler. Laugh at those silly antics of your five year old. Listen to that long story of your seven year old. Don’t check your email in the middle of it.
This Christmas is like no other. Don’t take it for granted. It’s appreciating the present moment that gives life depth and beauty.
4. Pray
Because we need to fill up our own well of love so we can pour it out on our family. When we try to run on empty, we deprive everyone of our best.
If we take time to find peace, it will emanate from us. If we don’t, we won’t be able to help anyone else find it either.
So light that Advent wreath candle, and spend a quiet moment staring into the flickering flame. Or pick up an inspiring spiritual book. Take a walk and admire the wonder of creation.
Or even space out in front of the fish tank, watching these little slippery pieces of beauty dance about. Hey, it’s even good for your blood pressure, I’ve heard, which can be helpful in this busy season!
One Simple Craft Idea:
One thing we’ve done this year is cut up a bunch of paper hearts. When the kids do something nice like listen well right away, help a sibling, tidy up cheerfully, etc, we write it on the heart and tape in on our fireplace.
The kids are saving up hearts to buy (with Mummy and Daddy’s help) a gift for a child in Africa through the charity Chalice, which has a great record of financial accountability. We are thinking maybe a school uniform, back pack and shoes, because the kids can relate to this. We have the catalogue so they can help choose. Here’s the link so you can see what kinds of gifts they have:
Chalice also helps the children and families in the Philippines, so that’s another great option, after the typhoon.
You could do something similar with any charity of course. The idea for the kids to focus on is that love makes the world a better place, and it’s mean to be shared. If we want our kids to have a truly happy Christmas, and not fall into the bottomless “ME” pit, we need to help them think of others. Cause love is something that doesn’t run out when we give it away. Sharing it by doing good makes it grow.
Merry Christmas! God bless you all!
Christmas Cold
Hit by a cold
like a ton of bricks
two weeks before Christmas.
Ugh.
Squinting at the Christmas lights
(thank God they’re already up)
through my sleepy mole eyes,
I try to nap while the kids watch a show.
Ha!
My toddler gives me the play by play:
“Dere’s a weindeer, mama, and a bid, bid spider.
He’s not the bad guy, he’s the bad guy, riiiiight?”
“Right!”
Wrapped in blankets,
I’m trying to keep from falling
off this little donkey
that is life.
Trying to keep riding along,
over the dips and bumps
in that ancient little path
towards Bethlehem.
Keeping company with that young girl
full of wonder,
wrapped in starlit silence,
riding that little dusky mule
towards motherhood.
I Want a Power Ranger Suit
The other night, literally as we were eating our Halloween candy, after having dressed up, done a candy hunt in the living room, danced to spooky kids music and painted our faces,
my seven year old daughter asked me, “When is the next holiday?”
Aaaaaaaahhhhh!!!
That was the sound in my head.
Deep breath.
“Could we please just try to enjoy this moment before thinking about the next one? When I tell you you’ll start asking every day how many more days till…”
“I know, but is it Christmas? How long?”
Since then we have discussed at least three times what she wants for Christmas, as well as spent extensive time planning what to be next Halloween. So far a white cat, a ‘Spy Fairy,’ a princess with a sparkly but not hoopy dress, and a Power Ranger of unspecified colour. She told me with a sly smile on the bus, “Mommy, I want a Power Ranger suit.”
Sometimes I wonder if this it a bit what God feels like, being asked for stuff all the time, with little time for thank you’s in between the demands. Can you imagine the clamor of all our requests throughout the world:
Dear God, please gimme, gimme, gimme, and also why, why, why did you let this happen and not that….
One would imagine, if God were more like us, that it would be the source of an (al) mighty headache. Thank goodness for the infinite patience, mercy and generosity of God. Thank goodness that he loves each one of us, demanding as we are, having had us in his mind and heart from all eternity…as unique creations, singular expressions of his infinite beauty and diversity.
May he open my eyes to see my children with his loving eyes, especially on the days when they want so many things, and object to so many others. I guess it’s important to remember that they ask about the holidays a million times not to drive me crazy (-er) but because for them, the anticipation is half the fun.
There are other times when a sudden sweetness bursts through their busy little selves and makes me smile. The other day after mass I asked my five year old if she wanted to say a prayer together. “Let’s say the one we wrote for Great-Grandma.” It’s a song we wrote for her, to make her feel better in the hospital. We sent it to her with some lollipops. Cause that’s the part about going to the doctor that’s fun.
Here it is:
Love is love, and we love you.
Don’t you know it’s always true.
Don’t give up,
There’s always hope,
And we’ll love you forever.
Then she smiled at me with her big blue eyes and said, “Mommy, a heart is the shape of love.”
Today we stood at the bus stop in the chilly November air, munching some cheese and crackers as we waited. My daughter asked me for a cracker. It was the last one. I gave it to her, and after a brief moment she broke it and held it up, “Want half?” I couldn’t have been happier if she brought me roses. The little things…
Just East Of Crazy Land 