Tag: fatherhood

Gratitude (in thanks for a hard-working husband)

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, Marriage, motherhood2 Comments

Quarter-end crunch

and you’re working round the clock

like a donkey round the threshing mill–

sacrifice in each step.

Working like your dad,

but long hours away instead of long weeks at camp.

At home,

we celebrate our eldest daughter’s 12th birthday–

a dozen years of parenthood–

building a life together bit by bit.

I think of the early days of motherhood,

pregnancy and giving birth for the first time,

and those inexpressibly precious baby snuggles.

Remembering I rejoice

and celebrate having made it thus far.

The day, says my classy and clever friend Laura,

calls for champagne.

And although it takes two,

often moms get all the credit

for building their children’s bodies,

knitting them together in their wombs.

But I think of you, honey

working away in the office each day

so I can order in groceries–

paying for each apple, cake and curry I prepare.

And I realize our children’s cells

are built upon your sacrifice.

They are nourished by your love,

strengthened by your resolve,

encouraged by your perseverance

to believe that anything is possible.

So thank you…for working so hard

so I can be with our little ones

and celebrate with them

all the mess and glory

of being alive.

How to peacefully bathe a newborn 

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, motherhoodLeave a comment

Newborns love being all cuddled and cosy, curled up close to mom like they were in the womb, so often their least favourite thing is getting their diaper changed or having a bath, because they feel vulnerable and exposed. They wave their skinny little arms as though they were falling, and look very startled. This means that first baths can be a bit of a scream festival, which is hard on new babies and new mommies and daddies alike. When you’re sleep deprived and your hormones are raging, the last thing you want to do is something you know will set off baby alarm bells. 

So how to avoid this? Is there a way to bathe a newborn peacefully? Yes! Please learn from my mistakes, and do it the better way. When I bathed my first daughter, I was so nervous. I didn’t want her to get burned by hot water or drown, so I only put a few inches of lukewarm water in her baby bath tub, and took forever to bathe her with baby soap before rinsing her off. She hated it of course, as she was so cold! I hated it, too! Her crying was making me so upset. 

Here are simple steps to a better way:

 

  1. Fill the baby bathtub really full, till almost the top.
  2. Use really warm water. Not actually hot…but much warmer than you would think, remembering that water cools quickly in the small tub. 
  3. Cradle the back of your baby’s head with your right hand, supporting his body with your arm. To make this easier I put our baby bath up on the counter, or you could use a table instead, with a towel under it. Then you don’t have to bend way over, and get a sore back. 
  4. Lay the other arm on top of baby to hold him secure, and if he likes, let him suck in your finger to soothe himself. When I did this last time, my newbie got so relaxed he almost fell asleep! 
  5. Get your spouse or an older child to gently pour a little water over baby’s head (not face) and in those little creases of the neck where milk hides. 
  6. Keep the bath brief, about 5 minutes or so, and don’t bother with soap at first. Newborns smell lovely, and just need a little dip to freshen up every now and then. Bedsides, you are constantly wiping them during diaper changes or cleaning their little faces with a warm cloth, so in my opinion you don’t need to feel pressured to bathe them every day, unless you want to! 
  7. Choose a moment when you are fairly relaxed, and can ignore the phone or other interruptions and just enjoy this cosy moment with your beautiful, precious new mini you!
  8. Have a cosy towel and blanket ready, and follow the bath with a nice snuggle and some warm milk! 

  

Little Souls Like Shooting Stars

On By Anna EastlandIn Poetry, Stillbirth3 Comments

 

All this pain, Lord

all these broken hearts

broken open and flowing with beauty

Heaven escaping like steam from the geysers of love

that rush out of these parents’ broken hearts


2.6 million a year stillborn….

An overwhelming quiet

A heart stopping silence


Why is it that we must be broken to become more beautiful?

To finally reach out and connect

to honour each other’s pain

to realize each person is precious

and irreplaceable?


How mysterious this growing in love

that in losing the ones we love most

we become more loving

that in suffering we become more divine

just as You became human

to suffer with us

that we should never

no matter what

feel alone


Living in pain

we no longer live for ourselves

but for those we long for

and for those who are also broken by yearning

for little ones lost too soon


Our life is gift

and it is meant to be fruitful

We are not here for ourselves

but for others

to hold each other up with webs of love and hope

sparkling with dew-like tears 


Above in the sky

a sound like thunder

a thousand angels’ wings

accompanying with solemn joy

the little souls who enter Heaven like shooting stars

and light up the sky

Never to fade

never to disappear

a light in the heavens always 


Unique

irreplaceable

individuals

who will inspire us forever


Let us all become saints

so we can join them one day

and shed light into the shadows of a suffering world 

Everybody Needs Dear Friends

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, Friendship5 Comments

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It’s a simple fact of life that we all need close friends. They are the ones who make life more bearable when it’s hard, and make it more joyful when there’s happiness to share. They are the ones we call on bad days when we need a laugh, or on dark nights when we need to cry.

For me, Jay and Laura Dear have always been these kind of friends. They are the first friends of my first boyfriend (now husband) that I met, and they embraced me—a skinny, nervous 19 year old—right from the start. For this I’ll forever be grateful. They made me feel like family.

James and I used to curl up on their couch watching movies with them and eating their yummy black bean burritos. Their house was always cosy and safe. It’s where I went all upset when I got fired from a café in university for getting swindled out of too much change. It’s where I watched in shock as the Twin Towers crashed down on 9/11. No matter what was happening in my life, laughter and hugs awaited me there.

So you can understand that when Laura, my confidant, my maid of honour, my loyal friend and kindred spirit, called asking for me help the other day, my answer was, “Of course!”

Her little nephew in Ontario, Kyram, a sweet-tempered little boy with major disabilities, is in need. He was born very early, just over half-way though the pregnancy. Amazingly, Kyram made it and is now almost 9 years old but he requires 24 hour care, even to make sure he keeps breathing at night. Sadly his mother Simone passed away a few years after Kyram’s birth. His loving father Myles, Jay’s brother, being a single working parent, has to have hired help for Kyram whenever he can’t be there himself. Naturally, this is very expensive but funds from Simone’s life insurance have run out. Please join us in praying for a financial solution for Kyram’s care.

Here is a link to Kyram’s YouCaring.com page where you can learn more about him and, if you feel called to do so, make a tax deductible donation that goes towards covering his medical expenses. Kyram’s family would also appreciate it if you could share his story and let others know about his fundraising campaign. The website has links for sharing through Facebook and other social media.

http://www.youcaring.com/helpKyram

Life is so much richer when we reach out and touch other hearts. May you be surrounded always by many dear friends, and never know the loneliness of struggling alone.

Here is a link to a recent news article about Kyram:

Kyram Dear