Tag: Julia Cameron

Why Posting an Imperfect Post is an Act of Freedom

On By Anna EastlandIn Ponderings, Writing6 Comments

Lately my husband and I have been on a theology kick and read to each other before bed…until we get totally confused, inspired or one of us ends up drooling on the pillow (usually me!)…It’s been really interesting, and definitely gives us something new to talk about beyond how’s work and what did the kids do at school today.

Tonight we were reading about freedom, and it made me ponder what it really means to make a free choice, and how it relates to the stifling danger of perfectionism in writing…as perfectionism leads to the inability to make definitive choices and complete things. (Yes, being writing-obsessed, I manage to relate pretty much everything back to blogging…just ask my husband).

Anyway, the author described the misconception of freedom as the ability to make an endless succession of choices, without any of them ever being permanent and definitive. The idea that having options equals freedom, and the more options, the more free you are. “But why not?” you might ask…”Doesn’t that sound good?” The thing is to apply this idea and see where it leads. Here are some examples of how it changes, sometimes subconsciously, how we make decisions:

“I’m not going to choose what to study, because that way I can choose to study anything at all. I’m keeping my career options open.” Yes, and your empty wallet…Being open to the possibility of all jobs but having no job = unemployment, not freedom.

“I’m not going to choose someone to marry, because that way I can marry anyone at all…I’ll be so free.” Or so lonely and jaded, because it takes one real heart to love you and keep you warm at night, not several billion theoretical ones.

“I’m not going to post anything on my blog (ah, finally, blogging!) until I have something perfect. As long as it’s in my draft box, I have the freedom to keep changing it. It won’t be permanent.” Ah, yes, that horrific word….permanent! We are so afraid of it. It implies commitment, confidence, strength, endurance…yikes!

But tell me, is having a draft box full of unexplored possibilities really freedom?  Nothing wrong with drafts, but to really mean something and come alive they need to be released, imperfections and all, into the world. You need to say as a writer (or painter, photographer, chef, etc), “This isn’t perfect and I’m ok with that. It’s not perfect but it’s mine and I stand by it. This is me.”

That one irrevocable act of posting your little poem, photo, story or ponderings is a greater expression of true freedom and honesty than that of hoarding your drafts like treasures, choosing to hide them away lest they not shine as brightly in the light of day as you’d like. I think it was Julia Cameron who said that you need to be willing to be a crappy artist in order to become a great one. So be yourself, stand by your work, make a permanent choice to share your work and in that way really own it. Post that thing you’ve been hiding away so jealousy. Chances are what’s closest to your heart will resound in the hearts of others as well.  

Pink Rose Blushing

On By Anna EastlandIn Photos, Ponderings4 Comments

This Sunday I saw a rose so lovely one could get lost in it’s petals, contemplating beauty while the blossom blushes sweetly. It had the rich scent of a real rose, the kind you want to just drink in again and again…the kind that makes you think of romantic English gardens and quaint little thatched cottages.

Thinking back, it was a funny little gift to see it growing there, just outside the church, where moments before I had been talking with my friend Sherri, and joking that all the pretty women were wearing roses that day. She had a beautiful white dress covered in red roses, and I had a rose pattern white t-shirt. She told me she wanted to dress up extra today, on the feast of Pentecost, for the Holy Spirit, with whom she has such a love affair. “He just always takes such good care of me,” she smiled.

“Today is my 10 year anniversary of baptism,” I told her, “10 years since I joined the church.” For her it had been almost 16. I remembered rubbing my belly with childlike excitement in the days leading up to my baptism…God Himself was coming to dwell in my soul! We marvelled at how lucky we felt, knowing God’s love, His desire to be close to each and every person, to bring depth and meaning to our lives.

So who is this person Sherri and I are enamoured with, who inflames and guides our hearts? Isn’t going to church just for stodgy old ladies…people who recite pious prayers but aren’t really spiritual? As a convert, I haven’t found this old stereotype to hold water, nor have I found the supposed opposition between being religious and being spiritual.

For me, finding the faith helped me begin a very intimate and interior journey, one of growing closer to God while at the same time becoming more free to truly be myself…learning to trust the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit, the one who nudges me to grow, to give, to respond to His creative impulses, to be optimistic and ready to dream aloud. To trust in something bigger than myself. To be willing to take creative risks.

Growing in my spiritual life has been essential to my growth as a writer. I find there is such a direct link between prayer and creativity, because prayer helps me be aware of the beauty around me, and to be still enough to let it enter my heart. Then it’s just a matter of sharing what’s inside. I once compared writing poetry to sitting still enough for a butterfly to land on you, a matter of receiving an inspiration and sharing it, a little gift…

So if I haven’t been blogging much at times, you can guess I’ve been letting myself get too busy, and you can write me a comment and say, “Anna, stop running around… sit still and pray more; we want some poetry! ”

When I don’t take time to pray, to be still, to talk to God about my life and especially to listen, my creative well runs dry. I run like a little hamster in a wheel, very busy but very superficial. It is exhausting and empty, and I think our souls need to love deeper…ha, that was a typo but still true: we need to live deeper and to love deeper. This is what helps us see the beauty in life, despite suffering; this is what helps us live for something bigger than ourselves, and in the process become more the people we are meant to be.

Maybe I’ll write more about this soon, but as we’re all busy people I’ll let you go for now. I hope you’ll find a little time to seek out that special stillness in which God whispers to our hearts and inspires us to help Him create a more wonderful world.

The Power of Risk

On By Anna EastlandIn Ponderings1 Comment

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Today I flipped open “The Artist’s Way” and was struck by these words:

“So do it. If you win, you win. And if you lose, you win.”
It’s always that way with taking risks.
To put it differently, very often a risk is worth taking simply for the sake of taking it. There is something enlivening about expanding our self-definition, and a risk does exactly that. Selecting a challenge and meeting it creates a sense of self-empowerment that becomes the ground for further successful challenges.

These words were really timely for me. I think it’s true that challenges make us more alive, and that constantly avoiding them can become a kind of illness, a debilitating fearfulness that hides us from life, like turtle in its shell.

When we get convinced that things are “just too hard” we start to shrivel up inside. We set up comfort as our ideal but the worship of it makes us miserable. We feel incapable of anything different or new. We isolate ourselves and can become morbid.

Risk helps us break free from this cycle. It’s empowers us to recreate ourselves. Life becomes an adventure as we realize it contains new depths–that we also contain new depths, new possibilities.

It’s been said that each person is a universe unto themselves, and it’s exciting to know that we have unknown vistas to explore within. Maybe there is hidden courage and beauty we were unaware of, or had long forgotten.

Taking a creative risk opens ourselves up to the possibility of new things: our yes opens the door to unimagined blessings. Likely they were waiting for us all along, but required us to open our hearts to receive them.

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So today I encourage you to examine yourself with a spirit of openness to new possibilities. What secret call has been sounding in your heart? What risk have you been too afraid to take?

Instead of focusing on the obstacles, which are always larger in our heads, think about how proud and happy you will feel if you take this risk and succeed, or even if you take it and fail. Courage is about facing our fears, instead of hiding from them…it isn’t about not having fears. To face your fears is brave, no matter what the result.

So be emboldened to take a risk, try something new, and break out of your routine. You’ll be surprised by the power within.

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Find Your Sparkle!

On By Anna EastlandIn Arts and Entertainment1 Comment

I haven’t posted in so long but I have so many things I want to write about! I’m jotting them down, even in bits, so I don’t forget ideas, but my list of drafts is becoming like a Christmas wish list…longer and longer…One of my dear friends has been gently nudging me to publish more of them. Of course, as soon as I start writing this, one of my little girls comes running out of the bathroom to tell me a big blue-eyed story and pee on my bedroom floor. Looks like I’ll need to make it sparkle before I can get on with my story about finding my sparkle…

Anyway, back to writing. I’m really loving having a blog. It is challenging to find the time for it, but it’s so good to have a creative outlet, and I think it’s important. Sometimes I need a CIA badge in covert operations to sneak the writing in between dishes and diapers, but it’s worth it. As my buddy said of herself, “I have things to say.” I think we all do, but sometimes we’re afraid to do it. What if I sound funny, vain, stupid, crazy, or even worse, boring?! Well, so what? We can hide in a shell of “at least I didn’t fail, because I never tried,” but it’s a miserable place to be. Better to go out on a limb and try, come what may.

So after many years as a closet writer, I’m trying this blog, and my Mum gave me the nicest compliment about it, “I’m so glad you’ve found your sparkle!” Thanks, Mum! I want to encourage everyone who reads this to find what it is that brings them joy, and to go for it. Don’t think you’re not worth it or don’t have time or are being silly. Every person is a unique and unrepeatable creation, so really the only unreasonable attitude is the one that we have nothing to offer the world, nothing new, nothing distinctly us. Pablo Picasso said, “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”

I’m reading an amazing book by Julia Cameron called “The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity.” She writes about overcoming our fears to unleash our creativity, and fighting our inner censor who can be such a perfectionist: “Remember that in order to recover as an artist, you must be willing to be a bad artist. Give yourself permission to be a beginner.” Like any important journey, this one begins with humility and hope.

She continues, “By being willing to be a bad artist, you have a chance to be an artist, and perhaps, over time, a very good one.  When I make this point in teaching, I am met with an instant, defensive hostility: “But do you know how old I will be by the time I learn to really play the piano/act/paint/ write a decent play?”  Yes…the same age you will be if you don’t.  So let’s start.”

So whatever makes you sparkle, whether painting or music, making soufflés or repairing old cars, do it! Do it with joy and abandon, with the simplicity of a child who does it just because it makes her happy. Chances are no one else writes quite the way you do, and certainly no one else can tell your story. Chances are no one can make tiny steam trains that really chug along with your distinct artistry, so if you don’t do it, you will have missed your unique chance to make the world a little more beautiful. All of us want to do that; what we need to believe is that we CAN.