My (Wonderfully) Clueless Husband

My husband is clueless. He has absolutely no idea how wonderful he is. He works day and night (literally) to support our family, and even though he is exhausted, makes a point of spending time with me…even if it’s just watching a stupid show in the wee hours so we can laugh together. Relationships matter to him. There’s nothing more precious than his family (ok, his books come a close second, but still).

Despite all this he often feels inadequate, because he can’t be the magical dad who is home at 5 pm helping cook dinner and then wrangling all the kids into bed. His work to-do list never ever ends, but without it, I couldn’t be home with the kids. I couldn’t be there for all the first steps and first words, for my five year old’s funny science questions (What if tongues didn’t stop growing?), for the impromptu ballet performances and puppet shows, for the discussions about novels and movies and what life is all about. All these things, my husband primarily has to miss so I can be there for them.

Thank you, honey. It’s crazy hard….your work, my work…but it’s a gift. Our family is a gift. I’m so grateful.

Right now, on the midst of all this business, you’ve taken a week off so I can have a break. So I can go on workshop to feed my mind and recharge my soul. Because even imperfect moms deserve a break. That means we all do. It’s hard to go away when I feel like there’s a million things I should be doing at home, but with your love and support I’m going. Sailing off to be a kid in school again for a week and study philosophical anthropology–what it is to be human and live a fulfilling life–and honestly, I can’t wait! 😉 As a homeschooling mom, it’s nice to take a turn being the student!

While there’s always so much to do, sometimes the best way to move forward is to step back and let go for a bit. So cheers to that, and thanks, honey for being amazing.

Sliding into Contemplation

This afternoon after snack-time

as I take a moment

to put up my feet and read,

my toddler arrives–

attracted to the anomaly

of his mother being silent and still.

As I read about art and contemplation

and the creative necessity

of perceiving reality

without a mind cluttered by distractions,

he discovers the delightful idea

of using my legs as a slide.


So I stop to observe him

and weave him into my prayer–

his mischievous face crowned

by a golden mullet of impetuous curls

as he climbs up and down, up and down

to do it again and again–

seeking even in this interruption

to find “a deeper and more receptive vision […]

a more patient openness to all things […]

the abundant wealth of all visible reality.”*

 

 

*snippets from page 36 of philosopher Josef Pieper’s beautiful little book on art and contemplation, “Only the Lover Sings.”

 

 

 

A Recipe for Trancendental Chocolate Bars

I’ve been reading some philosophy lately, so my head is filled with funny terms…what better to do with them when I can’t sleep than turn them into a delicious recipe?  

                  🍫🍫🍫Trancendental Chocolate Bars🍫🍫🍫

  1. Pour 2 cups existential questioning into an empty bowl. 
  2. Add 1/2 cup human knowledge and 3/4 cup yearning for the infinite.
  3. Mix with 3 tsp humility and a dash of wonder. 
  4. Add liberal amounts of certain proof for intelligent design (ie chocolate).
  5. Stir until you are satisfied with its finite existence. 
  6. Bake at 350 until it exudes its essence. 
  7. Cut in pieces small enough to fit the human mind and enjoy with coffee and conversation about the transcendence of being. 
  8. Forgive me for being silly at 2 am! 😋

Barefoot Philosophizing

What is this mystery of being human?

Walking barefoot in the sand,

little particles washed up on the shores

from across the world,

and at the same time

washed in sunbeams streaming

from millions of miles away

in outer space…

living only

—only able to truly live—

in this tiny present moment

and yet wrapped in angel’s wings

and ever connected

to eternity…