You find staring at your newborn while he sleeps more amusing and fulfilling than watching a movie.
Your living room slow-dance partner is about 25-30 years younger than you and your main goal is getting him to sleep.
Alone time means three minutes to yourself in the bathroom, before a tiny person comes to bang on the door, file a complaint, or shove their latest drawing under the door to show you because it just can’t wait!
You worry Nike will sue you for copyright infringement if you use the word ‘just’ one more time (“Just eat your food!” “Just go to bed!” “Just get off the table!” “Just clean your room!” “Just stop hitting your sister!”).
You get told more stories and given more artwork than you know what to do with, and you find it charming to be portrayed as a vegetable if drawn so by your 4 year old.
You feel like bursting into song when you get in the shower, “Halellujah!” but are likely to be interrupted by emergencies…”Mom, Mom! Guess what?” “What? I can’t hear you! I’m in the shower!” “We did made a ….and it’s really…..in the living room!” “What! You made what in the living room?” “A ….” Turn off shower. Shiver. “What?” “We made a really cool fort in the living room! Come see!” “Oh! Please try to not interrupt unless it’s an emergency. I’ll see it after my shower.” Turn on shower. Sigh. Sing some more.
Your idea of getting dolled up is putting in face cream and lip gloss.
Your favourite new shoes are your sheepskin slippers.
You’ve used rainbow loom elastics as hairties.
You are the source of all wisdom for your kids, and have to answer all life’s deepest questions, but have the short term memory of a goldfish…”Now where did I leave my keys??”