Author: Anna Eastland
I'm a homeschooling mom of 8 and write at "Just East of Crazy Land: Adventures in Parenting." My younger daughters share their art and writing at "The Passionate Pencil" and the older ones at "The Writing Sisters." Enjoy! :)
Closer Than Ever
The grass is still green
on this side of the world
The sun still shines red
through my eyelids
It warms my upturned face
as the fall leaves fall
with delicate grace
Children still laugh
and the birds still fly
Flowers open and close
You’re gone away
little one
but closer than ever
No longer does your heart
beat in my body
That quick little drum
has faded now
But now that you’ve gone
to be with the stars
you’ve ripped open my heart
exposed Heaven within and
I’ve found you
closer than ever
here in my soul
Little Star
The stars go down
to rise upon some other shore,
and bright in Heaven’s jewelled crown,
they shine forever more.
John Luckey McCreery
One of the most exquisite gifts we received in honour of our baby Josephine’s passing was a star. I really mean it. My Uncle Dorn and Auntie Lenore had a star named after her. Because they figured we had enough flowers, and so that when the kids looked up into the sky, they could see her.
So, now and forevermore, there is a little shining star in the heavens named Josephine Pilar. Yes, this makes me cry, but with gratitude as well as sorrow. My beautiful, beautiful baby. My heart aches to be with you.
Before whom the stars at their posts
shine and rejoice.
When He calls them, they answer, “Here we are!”
shining with joy for their Maker.
Baruch 3: 34
Signs of Sweetness
Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.
St. Thomas Moore
So many signs of tenderness continue to pour in, along with meals and assurances of prayers, as we grieve the sudden loss of our baby Josephine during labour three weeks ago. We are so blessed by these many signs of sweetness. Thank you to everyone who has shown us such generosity and support. God is finding so many ways to say “I love you” to us every day.
Here are pictures of a few:
Two dozen gorgeous pink roses sent to our door from a couple in our parish:
A single perfect rose left anonymously at her grave:
A plant for me to take care of, called a Josephine:
All who have been touched by beauty are touched by sorrow at it’s passing.
Louise Cordana
Lend me your hope for awhile. A time will come when I will heal, and lend my renewed hope to others.
Eloise Cole
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart. You shall see in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Khalil Gibran
Josephine Pilar, our sweet little star, we are so grateful for you! We will love you forever!
Recipe for Recovery
Hug your toddler
Kiss your husband
Drink some coffee
Call your best friend
Listen to music so
You can sing in the rain
Brush your teeth
Smile again
Eat cookies
Do it all again
Dull Ache
Dull ache
like I’ve fallen flat on face
Grey skies
match my insides
It’s hard to talk
about her today
The pain throbs
in a delicate way
that won’t leave
I’m sitting here
eating Cheerios without cheer
My little ones laugh
and sing
but I don’t feel like doing a thing
Strange day
now that she’s gone away
The neighbourhood seems
empty and odd
Life’s going on
people bustling away
But I’m in this bubble
floating above
feeling lost
without my little love
Grey skies
match my insides
It’s gonna be awhile
till I find colour again
But in the mean time
I’m hoping for rainbows
looking for sun though my tears
Song of Longing for Little Ones
United in grief we stand
here with our hearts in our hands
Walk with me pretty please
so I’m not alone
so I’m not alone
Reach through your pain
to touch mine
Let me heal yours
you heal mine
Together we’ll bear
this big weight
holding on tight
to ropes of grace
Let my tears
wash you clean
begin anew
to feel free
Love is strong
oh, so strong
It tramples death
with it’s song
“I am alive
forever alive
In your hearts
you know that’s right”
Our little ones sleep
but in peace
This is the joy
in our grief
Walk not alone
on this path
silently tread
so often before
Let my cry break
the prison of glass
that’s freezing your heart
that’s holding you back
Shout out your grief
let your heart thaw
In the warmth of the sun
things don’t feel so raw
Together we stand
united in grief
Love makes us whole
it makes us complete
Keep up your chin
sparkle a smile
You’ll see your little one
in a little while
Josephine
Josephine flashed before us
with the brightness and beauty
of a shooting star
Our hearts are broken by the briefness
of her visit with us
She has climbed onto our Father God’s lap
and is whispering to him our secrets
with sweet confidence
Speak to her in your hearts
the only language she will ever know is love
Carry Me
You carry me above the waters
lest I drown in my sorrows
And it is safe
to let my heart break
because it falls
into your hands
And though it feels
shattered and broken
yet your love
my heart can heal
So carry me
above the waters
and make my heart
arise anew
Dancing with Werewolves
In the midnight darkness
put on your dancing shoes
Get up out of apathy
Break free from this werewolf skin
growing over you
Choose to dance
through the suffering
Strip away the heaviness
restricting you and breath
Find a way to dance
until that thick black fur falls off
Throw down those claws
and release those dreadful teeth
Let tears wash away
the moonstruck thief
whose madness has stolen your peace
Turn off all the lights
and dance at 2 am
Remember that beauty hidden deep within
the teenage passion for life
feelings too strong and deep to express with words
Reveal the maiden with the glowing skin
the one whose laughter shows the joy within
who can dance like nobody’s business
and loves to, even 9 months pregnant
You are that same girl
who danced in the Kootenays
laughing with Janine
as her blond hair fell over her face
and her arms wove a tapestry
in the half-lit room
filled with music
Just East Of Crazy Land 