Category: motherhood

How to peacefully bathe a newborn 

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, motherhoodLeave a comment

Newborns love being all cuddled and cosy, curled up close to mom like they were in the womb, so often their least favourite thing is getting their diaper changed or having a bath, because they feel vulnerable and exposed. They wave their skinny little arms as though they were falling, and look very startled. This means that first baths can be a bit of a scream festival, which is hard on new babies and new mommies and daddies alike. When you’re sleep deprived and your hormones are raging, the last thing you want to do is something you know will set off baby alarm bells. 

So how to avoid this? Is there a way to bathe a newborn peacefully? Yes! Please learn from my mistakes, and do it the better way. When I bathed my first daughter, I was so nervous. I didn’t want her to get burned by hot water or drown, so I only put a few inches of lukewarm water in her baby bath tub, and took forever to bathe her with baby soap before rinsing her off. She hated it of course, as she was so cold! I hated it, too! Her crying was making me so upset. 

Here are simple steps to a better way:

 

  1. Fill the baby bathtub really full, till almost the top.
  2. Use really warm water. Not actually hot…but much warmer than you would think, remembering that water cools quickly in the small tub. 
  3. Cradle the back of your baby’s head with your right hand, supporting his body with your arm. To make this easier I put our baby bath up on the counter, or you could use a table instead, with a towel under it. Then you don’t have to bend way over, and get a sore back. 
  4. Lay the other arm on top of baby to hold him secure, and if he likes, let him suck in your finger to soothe himself. When I did this last time, my newbie got so relaxed he almost fell asleep! 
  5. Get your spouse or an older child to gently pour a little water over baby’s head (not face) and in those little creases of the neck where milk hides. 
  6. Keep the bath brief, about 5 minutes or so, and don’t bother with soap at first. Newborns smell lovely, and just need a little dip to freshen up every now and then. Bedsides, you are constantly wiping them during diaper changes or cleaning their little faces with a warm cloth, so in my opinion you don’t need to feel pressured to bathe them every day, unless you want to! 
  7. Choose a moment when you are fairly relaxed, and can ignore the phone or other interruptions and just enjoy this cosy moment with your beautiful, precious new mini you!
  8. Have a cosy towel and blanket ready, and follow the bath with a nice snuggle and some warm milk! 

  

You know you’re a mom when…

On By Anna EastlandIn motherhood2 Comments
  1. You find staring at your newborn while he sleeps more amusing and fulfilling than watching a movie.
  2. Your living room slow-dance partner is about 25-30 years younger than you and your main goal is getting him to sleep.
  3. Alone time means three minutes to yourself in the bathroom, before a tiny person comes to bang on the door, file a complaint, or shove their latest drawing under the door to show you because it just can’t wait!
  4. You worry Nike will sue you for copyright infringement if you use the word ‘just’ one more time (“Just eat your food!” “Just go to bed!” “Just get off the table!” “Just clean your room!” “Just stop hitting your sister!”).
  5. You get told more stories and given more artwork than you know what to do with, and you find it charming to be portrayed as a vegetable if drawn so by your 4 year old.
  6. You feel like bursting into song when you get in the shower, “Halellujah!” but are likely to be interrupted by emergencies…”Mom, Mom! Guess what?” “What? I can’t hear you! I’m in the shower!” “We did made a ….and it’s really…..in the living room!” “What! You made what in the living room?” “A ….” Turn off shower. Shiver. “What?” “We made a really cool fort in the living room! Come see!” “Oh! Please try to not interrupt unless it’s an emergency. I’ll see it after my shower.” Turn on shower. Sigh. Sing some more.
  7. Your idea of getting dolled up is putting in face cream and lip gloss.
  8. Your favourite new shoes are your sheepskin slippers.
  9. You’ve used rainbow loom elastics as hairties.
  10. You are the source of all wisdom for your kids, and have to answer all life’s deepest questions, but have the short term memory of a goldfish…”Now where did I leave my keys??”IMG_0638

Baby Love

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, motherhood5 Comments

A lot of people worry about sibling jealousy when a new baby comes. I have found that babies bring a lot of joy and help the other kids feel a sense of importance because they are able to help out. If you’re not convinced, the proof’s in the pictures….the only jealousy we have here is over whose turn it is to hold the baby next! 👭👶🏼👭

   
  
    
   

Midnight Stroll

On By Anna EastlandIn motherhood, Poetry1 Comment

Just when lights go out
you open your eyes
and decide it’s time
for a midnight stroll.

We saunter about the kitchen
as you stare out from the blanket bundle
with your little wise old elf face.

You wrinkle your tiny forehead
and furrow your almost invisible eyebrows,
looking about quizzically as you ponder some deep truth
until the rapid flutter of your tongue
through pursed lips reveals your babyness
phantom nursing…

You were just spacing out
and daydreaming of milk after all.

  

Go, Team!

On By Anna EastlandIn motherhood3 Comments

 For the first few days night nursing seems really cosy and fun. And then your newborn decides to really bring the milk in. Suddenly it takes on the character of an Olympic sport. Go team! 

Love Incarnate

On By Anna EastlandIn motherhood4 Comments

  

I love this image of Mother and Child…the beautiful peace and serenity that emanates from their contented faces. It speaks to my own experience in these early days of snuggles and nursing after birth. The simple bliss of needing nothing else in the world but the closeness of the other…

Through this image, as through the love between every mother and child, radiates the golden warmth of God’s love…affirming the goodness of the most ordinary and intimate relationships of our human lives. Confirming, in tiny bundles of love incarnate, that the essence of being human is indeed to love.
  

Hurrah! Baby arrived safely!

On By Anna EastlandIn Maternal Health, motherhood, Photos17 Comments

We are so happy and relieved to welcome our cosy little warm snuggly bundle into this world! Thank you everyone for all your prayers and support! We had a beautiful water birth at the hospital, and baby is sleeping and eating well. He is a cute little 6 lb 2 oz at three weeks early and is doing great! 

   
    
 

We had a big day getting this little monkey out, including drinking a labour smoothie, ’80’s dancing in the living room with my awesome midwife and the kids, walking to a lunch date for spicy Indian food with my husband, and scrubbing the floor on hands and knees. It worked!

Love and blessings to you all,

A very happy and content new mama, again!

A Letter to Heaven

On By Anna EastlandIn motherhood, Stillbirth3 Comments

  
Dear Little Jo,

Tomorrow is a big day for Mummy. Your little brother is going to be born. We are going to coax him out into the world three weeks early, in hopes that he can be safe. In hopes that things will go differently than last time. He kicks and wiggles hello to you, his big sister in Heaven. 

Know, my dear one, that you are very much in my heart right now, as ever. Your little brother is, as a friend told me today, one of your many gifts to me. So I thank you for constantly making my life richer, deeper and more exquisitely beautiful. How much I love you!

After losing you in labour last time, I am afraid. When I think about how I couldn’t save you, I tremble. I want to cry. I want to hide my head in my blankets and not come out. But I know there is a greater, deeper plan than the one I can understand. I know you are safe and beautiful and loved. That you always will be. 

And I want you to know, my little sweetheart, that no matter how much time passes, you will always be my special baby, even when you have grown wise beyond your brief time on earth by so much time spent in Heaven, that timeless place of Love, where I hope to join you one day. 

Save me a huge hug and so many kisses, and tomorrow shower us with the grace of your perfect little prayers, as your brother makes his epic journey into this world. I know that we are wrapped in the wings of angels, and lifted up by the strength of so many heartfelt prayers. 

I pray that our new little one may, above all, become like his sister, a saint—a sweet beacon of love for the world. 

All my heart’s embraces,

Your Mummy

The Feast of All Saints

Nesting, nesting, 1, 2, 3…

On By Anna EastlandIn Maternal Health, motherhood, Stillbirth15 Comments

 
It’s nesting time in the Eastland household, with less than a week to go until baby! I’m really happy to report that I’ve been able to do some of the normal things to prepare for baby…and that I’m actually feeling generally ok. After losing little Josephine in labour last time, I haven’t been able to even let myself imagine this baby too much…but I’m starting to! I think the prayers of loved ones have lifted some weight from my shoulders, and I’ve managed to do a bunch of things on my baby preparation list:

1. Stock up the house with groceries. My dear friend Cheryl watched the kids for me (and cleaned the kitchen!) while her husband took me grocery shopping. He kindly put up with my crazy preganancy shop and helped me fill two enormous carts of groceries, and bring them all home after. They just had their own rainbow baby a few months ago, and wanted to do something concrete to help support me as I prepare for mine. Doing this normal pre-baby thing made me feel more calm and optimistic.

2. Clean the house. I know it sounds like a funny thing to do so far ahead, when my house is a constantly evolving circus of art projects, blanket forts, and imaginary castles, but what I mean is that I stayed home from mom’s group to help my paid cleaners do a little extra…pull out the beds to vacuum and mop underneath, replace light bulbs, dust the window ledges and lamps etc. Many dust bunnies and long lost objects were found!

3. Pack the hospital bag. This was a big one. It meant acknowledging that this baby is coming for real. And soon. That it’s not all a dream, and that I’m actually going to need his little outfits to come home in this time. That I will get to use my nursing cover this time…that there will be a baby who suckles and cries instead of being silent. The fact that I could prepare the hospital bag without getting upset was for me a surprise and a tiny miracle. 

4. Get out the newborn clothes and diapers. This was also a biggie. I’m really happy that I actually enjoyed sorting through the little boy clothes, and filling the drawer with cute things for 0-3 months. “Why did you do it, Mum?” my 9 year old asked me, “We might not need the newborn diapers. We might get two saints.” “I know honey, that’s true, but I’m hoping for the best. And didn’t open the package of diapers, so we could always give them away if we had to.”  Gotta love the brutal honesty of children. My 5 year old told me cheerfully, “After the baby comes, we will have a party at Holy Family, right? Either a baptism or a funeral?”  “Yes.” My four year old was sweet at bedtime prayers…”I pray baby brother will come out and snuggle us and suck on my finger.” She knows what babies like!

5. Order new homeschool supplies. I thought it would be a good idea to order some new books now, so that a few weeks after that baby comes, fun parcels will arrive in the mail, and the kids will be excited to read new books and work on new workbooks…even if Mummy is still generally horizontal with baby!

But the icing on this layer cake of baby nesting activities was certainly a special pre-baby party my awesome friend Kate organized for me last Saturday, called a blessingway. Rather than a big early birthday party with tons of baby gifts and funny games, this was a beautiful evening of good company, nice food, emotional support and special prayers for baby’s safe arrival.

I got spoiled with beautiful flowers, as Kate had the idea everyone should bring some at reminded them of me. Most were gorgeous coppery red ones, rather like my hair and glasses…cheerful gerberas and  feathery tulips, but also a poignant white rose from my friend and midwife Terry-Lyn, and a white and greenish bouquet from Kate…with cabbages in it for her veggie friend!  

Fancy chocolate, nice coffee, cosy slippers, homemade lavender bath salts, a cosy homemade crocheted blanket for baby, and generous gift cards also arrived with sweet cards full of encouraging words. This beautiful quote was in Terry-Lyn’s card: 

It’s not just the making of babies, but the making of mothers that midwives see as the miracle of birth.

Barbara Kate Rothman

Can you see why I love my midwives so much? I even wrote a piece for the anthology Love Rebel: Reclaiming Motherhood about midwives and the mystery of motherhood.

There was also a special appearance by my dear old friend Fr. McDonnell, whom I’ve known for nearly 15 years. We used to go to Tim Hortons and Boston pizza together to chat with friends after Mass and compline evening prayers when he was still ‘just’ Brian. It’s so lovely to have him back in town again as one of our parish priests. He made everyone laugh by showing them old pictures of nearly teenage me on his phone. “She never changes,” he said sweetly. 

Fr. McDonnell came to give me the beautiful blessing for a safe labour, and to bless the candles and holy cards of St. Gerard that everyone would take home to light and pray for me these coming days. It is a comforting thing to have special traditions for expectant mothers, and to even have a patron saint for them.   

Thank you to everyone who has helped me prepare for baby so far, and who is holding me close in prayer as the big day approaches. Because of my usual late pregnancy liver condition, colistasis,  we plan to deliver three weeks early, on November 2nd. This is safer for the baby, as this condition has a slight correlation with stillbirth which increases as time goes on. Happily in an ultrasound a few weeks ago, the cord was no where near the baby’s neck like last time, so that is at least a huge relief.    Starting this Friday, the midwives will do stuff to get things going, like a stretch and sweep, and on Monday morning I’ll be downing a charming labour cocktail of protein smoothie with castor oil, and which has always worked in the past to get babies out. Then another sweep. If baby needs more coaxing to come out, my OB goes on call Monday night so she will do the rest. 

Sorry for the rather long update…but I finally found some quiet moments, deep in the night, with only my iPad and heartburn for company, so I thought I’d seize the chance to write before there is a little nocturnal creature wiggling in my arms! Less than a week to go!