Summer days bring their share of funny sunny day surprises…like when your small children go outside to paint on paper, and reappear as aliens!
Eat your heart out, Moulder and Scully! There are truly aliens among us…needless to say, the bath water was certainly not blue that night!
There is something about walking through the forest in the sunshine that reminds you that every day life is a gift. Thank you God for this beautiful precious experience of being alive. For all it’s pain and struggle, the exquisiteness of life is undeniable.
Multitasking:
Me: Can you cut this paper dolly out for your sister?
6 yr old: Sure. I have time to do lots of things, but not time to do lots of things at the same time.
Weather Report:
4yr old: “Mommy the clouds turned purple. The clouds turned purple because they are angry that it’s not raining anymore.”
Royal Duties:
While training her 4 year old sister to be a polite princess, my 7 year old explained why the 3 year old couldn’t join in and be a queen.
“Because queens are really old, and it’s boring…actually it’s a lot of work. You have rule a village, and to sit on a bench all day and read newspapers…and eat chocolate all day until you get sick.”
“What if it tasted like coffee chocolate?” piped up the 4 year old. “That would be awful.”
“I wanna be a princess and dance!” moaned the distraught toddler.
Mouth Mumbles:
3 year old: “He has an ice cream lipstash…”
Have you had the chance to do much art lately?
I ask my artist friend as she chats
confidentially with her toddler on her lap,
which is blossoming with baby belly
under her bright pink shirt.
Not too much, she replies,
Just surviving and getting ready for baby,
but looking forward to nursing as a time for inspiration.
Yeah, I reply, It’s that quiet contemplative time
that is the source of inspiration for sure.
An openness to the divine, she replies,
That’s where art comes from.
I want to tell her that right now
she is cooperating with the most divine creation there is—
that of a human life—the artistic triumph of the world,
a piece of art that is by its very nature immortal
but I get interrupted by one of my kids who needs a new towel.
So I can’t tell her that she is weaving with sinews of love
painting with brushstrokes of hope
writing with stories strung on tiny ropes of DNA
forging new paths for faithfulness
strengthening family bonds with tiny bricks of beauty
cells diverse and unique
splendidly forming into
a new child of promise.
Here are some quirky quotes from the peanut gallery.
Dancing
4 year old: “Can you dance like me?”
3 year old: “No, I can dance like myself.”
Bugs
4 year old: “Hey! The spider I was catching got away. And he didn’t even leave footprints!”
4 year old: “This woodbug is going to be my real pet. I’ll call him Bubsy. Actually, no, Twinkle.”
Potty Training
Me: “You go pee, honey, like a big girl.”
3 year old: “Yeah, I’m a big girl now. I’m going to peep.”
Me: “After your turn I’ll go pee too.”
3 year old: “Yeah, you’re big, too…like a giant, or a mom, or a dad, or a fire worker, or a vampire…actually, no, not a vampire…I was just pretending that you’re big.”
Biology
6 year old: “Why is grandpa lying down?”
Me: “He has a sore back…his sciatic nerve is giving him trouble, like I have when I’m pregnant.”
6 year old: “But Grandpa’s not pregnant.”
Me: “Nope!”
4 year old: “That’s cause babies don’t like boys, only mommies.”
I’ve just spent the weekend immersed in inspiring talks from an online conference for moms and what struck me most as a common theme was the need to support and encourage each other. A kind of professional solidarity, but without the competitive spirit. More like a sisterhood of moms.
In order to live this, we need to set aside our performance anxiety and quit comparing ourselves to other moms. It is not a competition.
How much grief we could spare ourselves and others if we let this need to measure up go. If we instead tried to really believe that we are enough for our kids, and that’s all that matters. They are a gift, and they were given to us for a reason, because of all the women in the history of the world, only we are meant to be their mother.
In other words, we don’t have to earn the right to their love. We should, of course, do all in our power to love them, but knowing that our brokenness is simply part of being human, and that they weren’t meant to be raised by angels. Angels wouldn’t know how to teach them to be human: to struggle, to make mistakes, to sacrifice, to forgive.
If we could quit trying to outperform ourselves and others, we could be more open to responding to other moms as friends, as sisters who share a common life. We could stop being afraid to be vulnerable with each other. And in this atmosphere of support, of friendship, even of encouraging mentorship, we could grow…far more than in a place of isolation, comparison and fear.
So I challenge you all to take a moment to reflect on how you support the other mothers in your life right now. Do you call them just to check in? Do you do little kind deeds for them just to make them smile? Do you make time to listen when they need a heart-to-heart? And above all, are you brave enough to be vulnerable with them, thereby giving them the freedom to be authentic with you as well?
This is what friendship is, and this is what all moms, and in fact all people, need. It think when it comes down to it we all share the common goal of making the world a better place for our children, and a better place because of our children. How about supporting each other in it? If we do, we can bring each other such joy!
Mothers of the world, unite!
I’ve been having a great time today listening to talks on my iPad from the free online Catholic conference for moms…while folding laundry, cooking dinner, and yes, even cleaning the bathroom..my evening office! 😉 It’s like having awesome, interesting friends over for coffee to keep you company while you go about your work.
I highly recommend this encouraging conference for moms, which still has three days left. The theme is “Beyond Survival, Into Revival.” Once you register with your email, you’ll be sent the link and password to the talks for that day. Then you just watch whichever ones you like, when you like that day.
So here are few quick notes I jotted down after I finished scrubbing the bathtub…while speakers on my iPad cheered me on from the bathroom stool! 😉 Just to give you an idea of a few of the talks..these aren’t comprehensive.
“Nothing steals a mom’s joy more than comparison.” Stephanie Wood Weinart.
I loved Stephanie’s talk about the three things that rob mothers of joy: comparing ourselves to other moms, isolating ourselves, and getting addicted to the internet as a form of escape.
She stressed the importance of accepting ourselves as we are, as the ones God chose to raise our kids, without beating ourselves up with self-doubt. She also encouraged us to pray for close, supportive friendships from a few fellow moms who can be our kindred spirits, the ones we lean on. And finally she reminded us of the joyful freedom that comes from putting away our smartphones and really playing with our children, looking into their eyes and rejoicing in them.
Sherry Antonetti spoke on the question “What is a mom?” She said the essence is loving people. Yes, there’s endless work but it’s not a sacrifice to be surrounded by people who love you. Don’t be burdened by the minutiae or the isolation, or become a taskmaster.
Reach out, spend time with your kids, ‘waste time’ with them ‘waste time’ with God. Put those things on your to do list. Waste time taking kids to the park, reading them books or painting your daughters’ toenails…it means the world to them because you are spending time with them. At the end of the day, those “wasted” moments are the real measure of success.
Mary Stanford spoke on the theology of the body, and the importance of being truly present to each other. She said the body is a gift which represents the presence of our person. It’s a bit like the way the bringing cookies to someone represents our friendship, being a physical embodiment of a spiritual reality.
We come to truly know ourselves only in relationship to others. When we reveal our inner selves to those we love, we come to know who we truly are. This kind of deep self-revelation can only really be done in person, and helps prevent objectifying others.
Don’t let electronic deceives remove your presence from those you’re actually physically with, the ones God has placed by your side. Be an example to your kids of being present, looking in their eyes, truly listening with your whole body, and not while half scrolling the latest Facebook feed.
The body is like a moral thermometer…while not the source of shame, it is the place shame is expressed, for example by blushing. It is where we feel if something is right or wrong. When people communicate primarily on social media, they can’t read the cues on other people’s body’s, and trample through delicate matters without realizing. That’s why young people share intimate things online, or bully others as they wouldn’t in person. It’s as if their moral sensor is turned off. To mature and develop ourselves, we need to have friendships where we see people face to face.
Overall I was very happy with these great talks and with my day, and felt encouraged that besides some cleaning and homeschooling, I also “wasted” time in laughing with my kids, playing outside with them and reading lots of Narnia before bed. Hope you’ll join the conference tomorrow (and until Monday) and be encouraged that you, too, despite all your struggles, are a great mom. 🙂
The Catholic Conference for Moms
If you miss some talks, or want to later share them with friends or a mom’s group, you have the option of buying the conference package after, and using the code “Crazyland” will get you $10 off. I’m definitely planning to get it myself, because I think these short talks will be perfect for discussion at my parish mom’s group.
One of the nice things about homeschool is that you can always be with your favourite “friends.” Everybody, no matter how big or small or imaginary, is included.
One of my favourite things about having the 5 kids learning at home is how close they are…and how the kids of difference ages interact, include and care for each other. They are not artificially separated into age groups and a myriad of separate activities, so they don’t forget how to play together. Many homeschool activities can be done together, like reading and discussing stories, learning about things from animals to waterfalls, doing art, putting on plays, singing, dancing, doing nature walks and running outside.
Nor do the kids get easily bored. They are quite happy to turn the living room into a giant block tower and Duplo city while I get the dishes done. Or to build endless forts with blankets and upturned furniture. Of course all this teamwork means there is also an organized team effort to drive me crazy, but happily I’ve already been crazy for a long time! Comes with the territory! 😉
So we didn’t make ketchup as a home school cooking project, I’m just inclined to love silly puns, so here’s a few photos to help you catch up on what the girls have been up to. A quick ‘ketchup’ post.
This is everyone with Grandma, who brought new school supplies…which always makes studying far more exciting, even for the little ones.
It makes me happy to see the older ones helping the little ones…because isn’t one of the most important goals of education to help people learn to care for and take care of others?
We also rearranged the furniture—another simple trick to make kids more excited about sitting at their desks to work!
My little preschooler is picking up stuff by osmosis…look what she tried to write all by herself!
Sometimes doing math together, with little silly drawings and stories, really helps supplement the workbook problem pages, and turns repetitious math questions into an opportunity to bond. Snacks help, too! You’d be amazed how much better my daughter learns math when she is using crackers to count with, and to keep her blood sugar up! Double whammy! 😉
It seems that cutting paper in funny shapes, like a seashell for example, makes kids a lot more interested in writing in them! Here’s a page from an under the sea creature book. The ghastly deep water angler fish…
Look what I found to my delight on the white board…promise I didn’t bribe my daughter to write it! 😉 But I agree, while it can be a logistical zoo at times, homeschooling is such a beautiful way to bond as a family while learning about the world. It is truly “awsome” (yes, we’re still working on spelling!)…
Just East Of Crazy Land 