What Happens When a Mom of Five Goes to Buy Milk

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Whoops. You buy about half the store and your kids ride in a rocket.

They spent about half an hour playing in it as I dug through my bottomless pit purse to find my debit card (don’t worry, Mum, I found it when I got home), couldn’t, then had to use the store office to call my chip credit card to ask what my PIN was again…and you know how fast calling credit cards is…Thank goodness the kids got along and the office guy was super patient and friendly.

“Well,” said my oldest, “today was a good adventure!”

Guess we really earned our ice cream after all that. Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup goodness, here we come! Oh, yeah, and reorganizing that purse, too…

Birthday Blessings

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Today is my mother-in-law Janet’s birthday. She is funny, sweet, generous and strong, and defies all stereotypes of evil in-laws. She is one of my best friends.

I remember taking the ferry to meet her the first time. I was so nervous I thought I’d throw up overboard. But from the first warm hug in the ferry terminal parking lot, I knew I had been wrong to worry.

I am amazingly blessed by my relationship with her. She knows me better than almost anyone, and can make me laugh over the phone when things are rough…for example during the pre-bedtime circus with small children or when I wake up after a rough night looking like a porcupine and ready to cry because I can’t even remember to make the coffee. She knows how to put it all in perspective, and loves me despite knowing my worst faults.

So to an amazing person, a super-grandma who is so loved, and one of the most loyal, supportive friends I’ve ever had, happy birthday, and thank you for everything.

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Let’s try that again! When baby presses publish…

Well, well, yesterday I broke my record for shortest post. A handful of words with a spelling mistake, and nothing more! This is because I was trying to multitask, as moms always do, and was blogging on the floor while my curious one year old tried to touch my iPad…and scared me into pressing “publish” by accident instead of “save draft,” before getting up to put my iPad away. So sorry to all my followers who received this weirdo post in their email inboxes!

What I meant to write about “brilliant yet simple parenting advice” (see my last post) was something like this:

Attention Modern Parents! The answer to all your woes is here! Would you like a simple way to advance your child’s social, intellectual and emotional development? Would you like them to be entertained for hours without your having to play clown? For them to learn their numbers, letters and colours with without you teaching them? For their speech and vocabulary to develop rapidly? For them to feel safe, happy and confident that they can contribute to the world?

Modern parents, ever concerned with their child keeping up with age-appropriate development, are salivating but clutching their wallets nervously. What could this secret solution be, and how much will it cost? Is it Baby Einstein DVDs, expensive preschool, private tutors for toddlers, a magic diet of organic seaweed? What could it be?!

The solution in fact is simple, natural, and fun to make.

It’s a sibling.

And if this seems too simple, here’s some photographic evidence:

First of all, despite excessive media paranoia about sibling jealousy, little kids naturally love babies, and therefore each other.

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Having siblings does a lot of good things in a simple way.

Stimulating the imagination and developing speech = playing puppets

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Encouraging them to observe their natural surroundings =
ants on the driveway are exciting when you look at them together

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Expressing emotion and developing socially = playing dress up

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Developing patience and delaying gratification =
waiting for your turn to ride the unicorn

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Promoting contentment and appreciation for simple pleasures =
an hour whips by when you have a box and a baby to play with

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Teaching responsibility and concern for others =
giving your baby brother a ride to the park

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Building confidence and a sense of worth =
I’m a big sister and can take care of the baby

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Promoting social development, building friendship and trust =
crossing the road together is safer and more fun

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Stimulating a love for learning = big sister plays teacher

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Kids pick up what’s around them so when they are surrounded with other little people they learn to speak, walk, sing ABC’s, count, dance, play, paint and draw without you as a parent even having to teach them. This has been my experience anyway. They also learn how to defend themselves, how to be loyal, and how to care for others. These are all great life skills, and hard to teach in a course.

So instead of frantically signing your kid up for Ferber, Gerber, Berber and every other new method that claims to be the magic solution for healthy development, how about signing them up for life by allowing them to experience the magic of family.

Besides, being the only can be lonely, especially when mom and dad are so busy taking care of things.

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And as one added bonus, although you may be tired at the end of the day, so are your little fairies, who have been running themselves ragged playing together all day. You can enjoy some blissful quiet time…perhaps reading, blogging, or just staring at them thinking how beautiful they are when asleep.

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Live Free: Smash your Fears

The wise Aristotle once said,

He who has overcome his fears will be truly free.

Today I want to share an amazing true story with you. It’s the story of a woman who was expected to die, but lived instead. Her name is Heather.

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Her husband Cameron shared her story with me:

Eight years ago, my wife Heather was diagnosed with mesothelioma; a rare cancer that kills most people within 2 years of diagnosis. She had just given birth to our daughter Lily, and was only given 15 months to live. After a life saving surgery that included the removal of her left lung, LungLeavin’ Day was born. On February 2nd, we celebrated 8 years of Heather being cancer free.

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The purpose of LungLeavin’ Day is to encourage others to face their fears! Each year, we gather around a fire in our backyard with our friends and family, write our biggest fears on a plate and smash them into the fire. We celebrate for those who are no longer with us, for those who continue to fight, for those who are currently going through a tough time in their life, and most importantly, we celebrate life!

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Marcus Aurelius wrote long ago in his Meditations,

It is not death that man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.

Heather wants to encourage all of us to truly live. To see life as a great gift and a joyful adventure, rather than something to be feared.

So what is it that you fear most? Rejection? Loneliness? Failure? Weakness? Poverty? Suffering?

Or perhaps responsibility, commitment or even success? What fear is holding you back?

Can you imagine if an eagle chose to sit in a cage because it was afraid of heights? It would never experience that glorious feeling of flying!

We are made for greatness, made for happiness, made for love. Sometimes these things scare us so we hide behind bars of fear we mistake for control. We convince ourselves to be stoic, to remain steady and unattached, to not get sucked into life lest it involve suffering.

But this is not freedom. This is not truly living.

Life is so much more of a beautiful adventure when we let go. Our real stories are more amazing than the ones we would write for ourselves; it’s the struggle and the suffering that makes the other moments so precious.

So what fear would you like to smash? What small step can you take today to face your fear and win your freedom?

It’s said that sometimes we fear what we desire most…

Since I was a teenager, I’ve had great desire to write, but I used to be so afraid of people reading my work. It was too painful. One great step to overcoming my fear was starting this blog. It was really hard to press publish that very first post. I literally had to force myself.

But what I feared as a source of rejection and failure has turned out to be a source of joy, encouragement, and liberation. I am more inspired and write more easily than ever before, because I gave myself permission to smash my fear and live. I feel part of a community and can rejoice in the successes of my fellow writers, because I too am pursuing my dream.

Sometimes if we ask for miracles, they really do happen, many little ones all the time, and sometimes big ones too. Our job is to be grateful and enjoy them!

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Please visit Heather’s page for more of her story and links to more info:
http://www.mesothelioma.com/heather/lungleavinday/

First Snowdrop: Tiny Signs of Spring

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This beautiful delicate snowdrop, pushing its way out of the rubble of mushy brown leaves, sticks and manure, to let its little pure white head glow in the sunlight, is a sweet sign that spring is slowly coming, that hope for renewal after winter is alive. A sign that even when life makes us face our worst fears, such as the death of a loved one, we can come out of the haze of sadness with eyes that still see the beauty of the world.

I dedicate this picture to my great friend and fellow blogger Monique Leblanc, the one who inspired me to begin sharing my adventures in Crazyland. I offer it for her especially, because she recently passed the due date of her son Hilary, who was born asleep half way through her pregnancy. His appearance was like this snowdrop, brief and achingly beautiful.

I offer it also because she has recently moved from the balmy west coast to the frozen (but friendly!) fields of Saskatchewan, and is much more likely to be seeing snow ploughs than snow drops at this time. The great thing is that she thinks this is fun! 🙂

I want to honour her unfailing friendship, her joyful sense of adventure, and her great dedication to her family. She has been for years, and always will be, a wonderful inspiration for me. She embraced me and believed in me when we first became friends, and has never ceased to love and encourage me. Cicero said so poignantly:

What sweetness is left in life if you take away friendship? Robbing the world of friendship is like robbing the world of the sun.

I was afraid of losing her closeness when she moved away, but instead feel closer to her than ever, thanks to the phone, and her uncanny ability to know when I just really need to talk to her. As Anne Shirley said so well: “True friends are always together in spirit.”

Blogging has also helped us to stay close as we try our hands at writing and jump into this wonderful online community together. Check out the awesome blog she writes with her husband Ryan at thelasttimechange.blogspot.ca/

Life can be tough, but if you have a good friend to laugh and even cry with, everything is ok. It gives life a stability that can sustain you through the roughest waters, and help you laugh over your little daily disasters with someone who knows you better than you know yourself. Our old buddy Cicero agrees:

Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.

I hope all of you have friends like this. Have you told them lately how much they mean to you?

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In Honour of an Aunt I Never Knew

Today a Dutch aunt of mine I never met passed away. I only know a few things about her. She was a little girl during World War Two, and her family sheltered Jewish children. As a child she used to climb the house with her brother to play on the roof. Their mom, my granny, didn’t mind. When she grew up she did radio shows for children with her husband, and at some point she moved from Holland to France. Like her mother she was full of oomph: an artist with strong opinions.

Sadly, relations between her and the rest if the family were strained and minimal, as some of those opinions were hurtful. Sometimes the wounds of life tear apart even the bond of siblings. War is a traumatic thing to live through.

But what is wonderful is that in her last few weeks, she was positive about everyone. Perhaps she had run out of energy to resent. Perhaps the dazzling light of death put things in perspective.

Whatever the case may be, may the bitterness of past anger be sweetened with the humble realization that we are all, in our own ways, “een beetje gek:” a little bit crazy, a little bit difficult, a little bit prone to making mistakes.

May the impending warmth of Christmas fill our family, and all others, with forgiveness and peace, for as cliché as it sounds, these are surely the best gifts we can give each other.