The Joy of Mercy: Sharing at Christmas

On December 18, 2014December 18, 2014 By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, Friendship2 Comments

The only things we really possess are the things we give away; they are the things which truly enrich our souls.
Fr. Anthony

The other day my kids and I were lucky enough to be able to help a family with two kids who is really in need. They just moved here from the Philippines, with nothing but their suitcases. They didn’t have any of the things we take for granted: beds, coat hangers, pillows, shelves, can openers, toys, cups, etc.

We wanted to help, as we have so often been helped ourselves. Being a large family of modest means, we are very often the recipient of other people’s generosity, and never want for anything. Except perhaps, more clear space! 😉 It seems we have about three of everything, so we were so glad to be able to share with a family who could really use our help.

The best part of it was that when I told my kids the story of this immigrant family with nothing, not even beds or toys, they got really inspired to share their things and ran about finding things to give:

“I bet the little girl would like the big cat stuffie I made a Build-a-Bear.”
“And the little boy would like my Cars backpack.”
“Here, Mum, let’s give them my flower blanket and this Christmas pillow.”
“Do we have food to give them? They need that. Oh, hurrah, and candy canes, too, for their stockings.”
“Here, I’ll give the girl my old jewelry box to keep her little toys in.”

You get the idea. Because they got into it, and imagined the happiness they could bring to others, they were very happy, and we found 4 boxes and three bags of stuff to give them.

I was so glad to see it coming from their hearts; they can be attached to their things, but in this case I didn’t have to push them to let it go. They were so proud.

Even my little boy knew something great was happening! Oh, and we didn’t give away all his clothes, Grandma…he’s just loves scampering about in as little as possible!

In case you feel inspired to help a family this Christmas, too, I’ll give you the link to the story and fundraising site of another Filipino family, not lucky enough to be here, who are really struggling. My friend Christina’s lovely nanny Mercy supports her entire extended family on her small income, and recent health crises of her aging parents and baby niece have made this next to impossible. She would be so grateful for any help you can give, and time is short; just over ten days remain on her fundraiser at this point.

You Won’t Believe What a Little Mercy Can Do

Sharing with others brought my kids a lot of joy this year, and I hope it will bring you joy as well, however you are able, whether financially, through your prayers or by sharing this story with others. Christmas is truly a time to show that mercy and love know no borders.

Everybody Needs Dear Friends

On November 14, 2014November 18, 2014 By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, Friendship5 Comments

It’s a simple fact of life that we all need close friends. They are the ones who make life more bearable when it’s hard, and make it more joyful when there’s happiness to share. They are the ones we call on bad days when we need a laugh, or on dark nights when we need to cry.

For me, Jay and Laura Dear have always been these kind of friends. They are the first friends of my first boyfriend (now husband) that I met, and they embraced me—a skinny, nervous 19 year old—right from the start. For this I’ll forever be grateful. They made me feel like family.

James and I used to curl up on their couch watching movies with them and eating their yummy black bean burritos. Their house was always cosy and safe. It’s where I went all upset when I got fired from a café in university for getting swindled out of too much change. It’s where I watched in shock as the Twin Towers crashed down on 9/11. No matter what was happening in my life, laughter and hugs awaited me there.

So you can understand that when Laura, my confidant, my maid of honour, my loyal friend and kindred spirit, called asking for me help the other day, my answer was, “Of course!”

Her little nephew in Ontario, Kyram, a sweet-tempered little boy with major disabilities, is in need. He was born very early, just over half-way though the pregnancy. Amazingly, Kyram made it and is now almost 9 years old but he requires 24 hour care, even to make sure he keeps breathing at night. Sadly his mother Simone passed away a few years after Kyram’s birth. His loving father Myles, Jay’s brother, being a single working parent, has to have hired help for Kyram whenever he can’t be there himself. Naturally, this is very expensive but funds from Simone’s life insurance have run out. Please join us in praying for a financial solution for Kyram’s care.

Here is a link to Kyram’s YouCaring.com page where you can learn more about him and, if you feel called to do so, make a tax deductible donation that goes towards covering his medical expenses. Kyram’s family would also appreciate it if you could share his story and let others know about his fundraising campaign. The website has links for sharing through Facebook and other social media.

http://www.youcaring.com/helpKyram

Life is so much richer when we reach out and touch other hearts. May you be surrounded always by many dear friends, and never know the loneliness of struggling alone.

Here is a link to a recent news article about Kyram:

Kyram Dear

Little Star

On October 26, 2014October 26, 2014 By Anna EastlandIn motherhood3 Comments

The stars go down
to rise upon some other shore,
and bright in Heaven’s jewelled crown,
they shine forever more.
John Luckey McCreery

One of the most exquisite gifts we received in honour of our baby Josephine’s passing was a star. I really mean it. My Uncle Dorn and Auntie Lenore had a star named after her. Because they figured we had enough flowers, and so that when the kids looked up into the sky, they could see her.

So, now and forevermore, there is a little shining star in the heavens named Josephine Pilar. Yes, this makes me cry, but with gratitude as well as sorrow. My beautiful, beautiful baby. My heart aches to be with you.

Before whom the stars at their posts
shine and rejoice.
When He calls them, they answer, “Here we are!”
shining with joy for their Maker.
Baruch 3: 34

Katie to the Rescue!

On August 11, 2014August 11, 2014 By Anna EastlandIn Friendship, motherhoodLeave a comment

Have you ever had one of those months where you get a mouse in your kitchen, your stove breaks, you’re pregnant during what feels like a heat wave (and wearing charming compression stockings that make you look and feel about 80), the leftovers get burned and set off smoke alarms late at night, and on top of it all, your back goes out?

Times like this, it’s amazing to have a mind-reading friend, a really good old friend from university, one of the people who is like family to you, email you out of the blue and offer to stop by and bring you dinner. The friend you wanted to call for help but didn’t want to disturb, who heard your silent prayer and took time out of writing her thesis to help you. This is what happened to me.

My friend Katie brought a green salad, Thai chicken soup, cherries and her sweet company. Simply wonderful. We dove into a great conversation about homeschool, writing and being contemplative in the midst of busy daily life. How being prayerful helps us to focus and be inspired when we write. Nothing like a really good talk to feed the soul.

Here are some pictures of the dinner we were lucky enough to receive!

Thai Chicken Soup with red peppers:

Don’t forget fresh lime…

“Yum!” says baby.

My 8 year old said: “It tastes Thai-tastic!” and “The cucumbers are cucumber-licious!”

She’s my big helper.

“Aaah, that’s cool!” My 6 year old had seconds of chicken and salad and said “It tastes good.”

So Katie, thanks for being so lovely! My world is a more beautiful place because of you, and dinner was delicious, as was the break from cooking! 😉 Getting to chat with you over iced coffee (life-saver!) reaffirmed the goodness of the world, and put little struggles in perspective. Life can’t help but be wonderful when you are loved.

Also recently my Dad brought me flowers, my mom called to say how much she loves me, my brother found and cleaned up the icky dead mouse (heroic!), my landlords bought us a brand new oven, my friend Ida brought us bread from Cobbs and Milton brought us treats from Starbucks, and my friend Sara took my big girls swimming with her daughter twice to give them an outing and me a break. There is so much to be grateful for! For every challenge, I bet we could all count three blessings. One of them is that challenges help us to be humble enough to reach out and ask for help, which gives people a chance to be heroes and show us how much they love us.

May you all be blessed with friends and family like mine!

Birthday Blessings

On July 19, 2014July 19, 2014 By Anna EastlandIn Photos11 Comments

Today is my mother-in-law Janet’s birthday. She is funny, sweet, generous and strong, and defies all stereotypes of evil in-laws. She is one of my best friends.

I remember taking the ferry to meet her the first time. I was so nervous I thought I’d throw up overboard. But from the first warm hug in the ferry terminal parking lot, I knew I had been wrong to worry.

I am amazingly blessed by my relationship with her. She knows me better than almost anyone, and can make me laugh over the phone when things are rough…for example during the pre-bedtime circus with small children or when I wake up after a rough night looking like a porcupine and ready to cry because I can’t even remember to make the coffee. She knows how to put it all in perspective, and loves me despite knowing my worst faults.

So to an amazing person, a super-grandma who is so loved, and one of the most loyal, supportive friends I’ve ever had, happy birthday, and thank you for everything.

Helping Heroes: 10 Reasons It’s a Good Thing to Accept Help.

On February 4, 2014February 4, 2014 By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, Friendship8 Comments

Accepting help is hard to do for many people…it’s something we need to learn in life, or perhaps relearn after losing our childhood ability to reach out and take a helping hand without shame. Often as grown-ups we feel the need to be a superhero and do it all alone, but aren’t the Avengers much better as a team?

If we can see our fellow human beings as cooperators, instead of competitors, we’ll be a lot more willing to offer and accept help. After all, aren’t we all trying to do our little bit to make the world a better place?

It can be hard to swallow our pride and ask for assistance, so here’s ten reasons why it’s good to ask for help:

1. You need it. Come on, no one is perfect. Everybody struggles. To pretend otherwise is to pretend to be a robot. People are much more loveable.

2. You give others an opportunity to shine. Let someone else be the hero for once. You don’t need to take all the credit. Everyone has special talents, and getting to use them helps people feel useful and important.

3. Being vulnerable enough to ask for help allows others to be honest about themselves with you and deepens friendship. It opens the door for them to ask for help or advice, too. You come to know each other better.

4. You teach your kids to do the same. Do you want them to tough it out alone when they really need help, or to know how to lean on others in hard times? They will imitate you in this.

5. Doing stuff together is way more fun. Whether it’s a big shopping trip, cleaning the garage, trying a new recipe or artistic endeavour, life is more fun when you have someone to share the load and laugh with.

6. You allow others to love you. We all show our love in different ways, but many of us show our affection by acts of kindness and generosity. When we say no to these things, we are saying no to love.

7. Accepting help enables you to practice gratitude, which makes your life more beautiful and happy. Moreover, knowing how to accept help gracefully is attractive.

8. If it takes a village to raise a child, it also takes one to be a good parent or spouse. Think about this. Becoming the best person you can be doesn’t happen in isolation.

9. You’re not alone. There are probably ten people who would drop everything to come help you, if you just asked. When we open our hearts to help from others, we receive so much more than we imagined; unexpected goodness keeps coming when we open this door.

10. Cause I said so. So there.

Now wasn’t that helpful? 😉

I Want a Power Ranger Suit

On November 5, 2013November 6, 2013 By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, motherhoodLeave a comment

The other night, literally as we were eating our Halloween candy, after having dressed up, done a candy hunt in the living room, danced to spooky kids music and painted our faces,
my seven year old daughter asked me, “When is the next holiday?”

Aaaaaaaahhhhh!!!

That was the sound in my head.
Deep breath.

“Could we please just try to enjoy this moment before thinking about the next one? When I tell you you’ll start asking every day how many more days till…”

“I know, but is it Christmas? How long?”

Since then we have discussed at least three times what she wants for Christmas, as well as spent extensive time planning what to be next Halloween. So far a white cat, a ‘Spy Fairy,’ a princess with a sparkly but not hoopy dress, and a Power Ranger of unspecified colour. She told me with a sly smile on the bus, “Mommy, I want a Power Ranger suit.”

Sometimes I wonder if this it a bit what God feels like, being asked for stuff all the time, with little time for thank you’s in between the demands. Can you imagine the clamor of all our requests throughout the world:

Dear God, please gimme, gimme, gimme, and also why, why, why did you let this happen and not that….

One would imagine, if God were more like us, that it would be the source of an (al) mighty headache. Thank goodness for the infinite patience, mercy and generosity of God. Thank goodness that he loves each one of us, demanding as we are, having had us in his mind and heart from all eternity…as unique creations, singular expressions of his infinite beauty and diversity.

May he open my eyes to see my children with his loving eyes, especially on the days when they want so many things, and object to so many others. I guess it’s important to remember that they ask about the holidays a million times not to drive me crazy (-er) but because for them, the anticipation is half the fun.

There are other times when a sudden sweetness bursts through their busy little selves and makes me smile. The other day after mass I asked my five year old if she wanted to say a prayer together. “Let’s say the one we wrote for Great-Grandma.” It’s a song we wrote for her, to make her feel better in the hospital. We sent it to her with some lollipops. Cause that’s the part about going to the doctor that’s fun.
Here it is:

Love is love, and we love you.
Don’t you know it’s always true.
Don’t give up,
There’s always hope,
And we’ll love you forever.

Then she smiled at me with her big blue eyes and said, “Mommy, a heart is the shape of love.”

Today we stood at the bus stop in the chilly November air, munching some cheese and crackers as we waited. My daughter asked me for a cracker. It was the last one. I gave it to her, and after a brief moment she broke it and held it up, “Want half?” I couldn’t have been happier if she brought me roses. The little things…

Freedom in Giving

On August 20, 2013September 27, 2013 By Anna EastlandIn Ponderings1 Comment

I was reading the encyclical “The Splendor of the Truth” by Pope John Paul the 2nd, when I came across an amazing statement: that it is by giving ourselves away freely and totally, dedicating ourselves to others, and to something greater than ourselves, that we become free.

This struck me as something beautiful and challenging, the idea that it is in seeking to go beyond ourselves, to reach out to the other, that we find true freedom, rather than by seeking first of all ourselves. It is impossible to possess ourselves completely, to be in control of all things around us, and have things always our way (the dream of children). But it is perhaps possible, with struggle, to let go of ourselves.

If we can give ourselves fully to something we are passionate about–our family, our community, our faith, our work, our art–we can gradually be freed from the entanglements of resentment, bitterness, and self-pity that come from failing to give fully. When we only give half, we feel trapped, because we are still trying to hang on to control, to measure how much we give and make sure we are rewarded.

On the contrary, the person who gives freely, does so because she is inspired to do good; the beauty of goodness urges her on. The reward lies in overcoming herself in order to serve others, not being trapped by her own selfishness but escaping into the beautiful freedom of love, which seeks only to bring joy to others.

It’s a wonderful ideal, which flashed before me this morning like a shooting star…it made me realize that the more fully I give myself, the more I embrace my exact circumstances, the more I rejoice in serving my family, the more free and happy I will be. I guess my whole life will be a climb towards this freedom, an emerging from myself, a lesson in love. Cheers to all my fellow climbers, and to never giving up, despite the struggles of each day.

Just East Of Crazy Land

Tag: Generosity

Little Star

Katie to the Rescue!

Birthday Blessings

I Want a Power Ranger Suit

Freedom in Giving

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