Tag: humour

Tummy-Flutes and Air-Sickness

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life5 Comments

  

3 year old: “Mama, what does tummy-flute mean?”

Me: “A what?”

5 year old: “She means tummy flu.”

Me: “Oh, to have a sick stomach and need to throw up.”

3 year old: “I won’t throw up cause I only have a little tummy-flute.”

Me: “Oh, that’s good.”

3 year old: “Sorry, I have a coughing tummy; don’t worry. And I keep coughing and the air doesn’t get my cough because the air doesn’t want my cough but I don’t want to be sick, except the air wants to be sick but it doesn’t want to have the tummy flu.”

Me: “Ooooh….”

Aliens Among Us…

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, Photos2 Comments

Summer days bring their share of funny sunny day surprises…like when your small children go outside to paint on paper, and reappear as aliens!

   
     

Eat your heart out, Moulder and Scully! There are truly aliens among us…needless to say, the bath water was certainly not blue that night!

Quotes from the Peanut Gallery #2

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life1 Comment

Multitasking:

Me: Can you cut this paper dolly out for your sister?

6 yr old: Sure. I have time to do lots of things, but not time to do lots of things at the same time.


Weather Report:

4yr old: “Mommy the clouds turned purple. The clouds turned purple because they are angry that it’s not raining anymore.”


Royal Duties:

While training her 4 year old sister to be a polite princess, my 7 year old explained why the 3 year old couldn’t join in and be a queen.

“Because queens are really old, and it’s boring…actually it’s a lot of work. You have rule a village, and to sit on a bench all day and read newspapers…and eat chocolate all day until you get sick.”

“What if it tasted like coffee chocolate?” piped up the 4 year old. “That would be awful.”

“I wanna be a princess and dance!” moaned the distraught toddler.

Mouth Mumbles:

3 year old: “He has an ice cream lipstash…”

Recipe For Laughter

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, Photos9 Comments

Tonight my toddler came up with his own recipe. Impressive, right? 

 

“What a little chef!” exclaims Grandma over the internet. “Un petit gourmét!” coos a French food connoisseur who stumbled unwittingly into Crazy Land. 

But wait! Before your hearts swell with pride at the culinary prowress of my two year old, read what it is he made. A very simple recipe, with 4 steps:

1. Pick up baby bowl of fruit salad.

2. Dump into little bowl of alphagetties. 

3. Add a cup of berry punch. 

4. Laugh. Repeat in reverse order…ish. Laugh more. 

Of course his four big sisters loved the performance, which only aggravated the èncores….

Sigh….well, at least he likes to help with the dishes!
 

The Children Have Officially Eaten My Brain!

On By Anna EastlandIn Friendship, motherhood17 Comments

So being a busy, scatterbrained mom I tend to be running a little behind, and it’s quite a feat to actually get anywhere on time. But today I set a new record…I can’t say for being on time really…but for extreme earliness.

I was determined, whatever it took, to make it to my dear friend Penny’s retirement dinner. She has been the secretary at my midwifery clinic for all my 6 children, so she has known me since the earliest days of my motherhood. She has always been there for me with her attentive warmth and kindness. I really wanted to honour her today by coming with a hug, a gift, and a poem.

So I scrambled to find babysitting, called up and down my phone list, and finally found help in my kind upstairs neighbours. After getting the kids ready for bed and settled in with a movie, I threw on a dress, necklace and heels and ran out the door. Literally.

On the sky train I wrote Penny’s poem: “My Penny is Worth a Million Bucks,” grinning that I got it done just on time…then I scooted as fast as my heels would carry me, scrambling down shortcuts and asking directions from friendly folks outside their house.

By the time I got to the pub I was over an hour late…but better late, than never, right? Inside it was very quiet and none of the staff had heard of Penny’s retirement dinner. At all. Oh, dear….
Beginning to worry I checked the online invitation. I’m sure it was on Wednesday, I’m sure! Oh! Oh! It was next Wednesday. Which is also next month! I was one week early, and not even in the right month.  A world’s biggest idiot sign glowed brightly above my head as I slunk quietly out the door.

That’s it!  The children have officially eaten my brain. What was left of it. No wonder they’re hungry all the time! Anyway, kicking myself and laughing I took a selfie to prove my ridiculousness:

  Then, like a good mom with free time on her hands, I went a shopped a sale at Gymboree, and brought home some summer clothes for the kids.  And then like a good blogger I worked on this post on the bus ride home. Now I just have to work on being a good invitation reader…

Well, I hope this made Katie from Australia laugh, because she writes the best “fail” posts, and this day was sure a big belly flop! But if it made you laugh than it was a worthy misadventure…

(See Katie’s crazy stories if days gone wrong at https://laptopontheironingboard.wordpress.com/category/fail-2/)

And at least I got Penny’s poem done…in my traveling studio….ehem, sky train….which is actaully a much less distracting atmosphere than my house.
Tomorrow, after I put my silly self with my sore feet to bed, I’ll share Penny’s poem with you all.

Goodnight, sleep well, and may your brain be with you!

(I hear it’s nice…)

Frootloops for Once

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life, Poetry3 Comments

 

Some days

when you’ve been up and down all night

with coughing kids,

giving medicine and fruit smoothie,

rubbing Vicks on hot little backs,

tucking and retucking in,

the only thing to do

when they mysteriously get up extra early,

before the decent hour of 7 am,

is to start the day afresh

with Frootloops for once—

very healthy with all that ‘froot’—

and “The best breakfast ever,”

according to my three year old.

Maybe smiling will help the bad bugs go away.

Quotes from the Peanut Gallery

On By Anna EastlandIn Family Life7 Comments

Here are some quirky quotes from the peanut gallery.

Dancing

4 year old: “Can you dance like me?”

3 year old: “No, I can dance like myself.”

Bugs

4 year old: “Hey! The spider I was catching got away. And he didn’t even leave footprints!”

4 year old: “This woodbug is going to be my real pet. I’ll call him Bubsy. Actually, no, Twinkle.”

Potty Training

 

Me: “You go pee, honey, like a big girl.”

3 year old: “Yeah, I’m a big girl now. I’m going to peep.”

Me: “After your turn I’ll go pee too.”

3 year old: “Yeah, you’re big, too…like a giant, or a mom, or a dad, or a fire worker, or a vampire…actually, no, not a vampire…I was just pretending that you’re big.”

Biology

6 year old: “Why is grandpa lying down?”

Me: “He has a sore back…his sciatic nerve is giving him trouble, like I have when I’m pregnant.”

6 year old: “But Grandpa’s not pregnant.”

Me: “Nope!”

4 year old: “That’s cause babies don’t like boys, only mommies.”

  

 

The Stomach Storm: A Children’s Poem

On By Anna EastlandIn Poetry8 Comments

‘Cause writing a silly poem is the best response to 2 am tummy bugs…  

Upon the arrival of the Stomach Storm

and lest we climb Mt. Doom,

we attacked the land with broom in hand

and Lysol weapons, too.

 

 

We sailed the sea of Bubble Bath

and towel-clad began

the ascent of Mt. Laundry,

at it’s highest since the world began.

 

 

We prepared to imbibe

that blessed drink,

elixir for the storm,

’tis called Ginger Ale

I think, in its sparkly form.

 

 

And slowly sunny skies appeared

o’er the land of Tummy,

the noxious gases disappeared

and soon again our suppers will be yummy.

 

So Much For Soup!

On By Anna EastlandIn Yummy in the Tummy2 Comments

Here’s what the kids thought of my dinner tonight….sigh!



But for those of you who’d rather eat soup than throw it, here’s the recipe:

I for one liked it!                            Homestyle Lentil Soup

I added lots of fresh herbs from the garden, like thyme, sage, rosemary and chives, and found it lovely! Kind of like a vegetarian beef stew.

So here’s to all my fellow moms who are trying to cook healthy, instead of putting IKEA toy food on the table cause it’s less messy! 😉 I hope that all of your dinners went better than mine tonight!