Ballad of the Pirate Bard

I am a pirate and I do not sleep!

I thief night jewels for me to keep.

My Lady with her treasures bold

is generous when the wee hours wax old.

The words upon her golden tongue

are by the midnight spirits sung.

I catch the songs in my jolly heart,

then bursting full I do depart,

‘n sail away to the break of day

to spread her tales far and away!

I am a pirate and I do not sleep,

my treasure is the tears you weep,

my prize is the laughter in your eyes,

for Insomnia’s bedfellow is a pirate wise.

🌴This silly song was brought to you care of
sleep deprivation and my pirate pjs! 🌴

A Recipe for Trancendental Chocolate Bars

I’ve been reading some philosophy lately, so my head is filled with funny terms…what better to do with them when I can’t sleep than turn them into a delicious recipe?  

                  🍫🍫🍫Trancendental Chocolate Bars🍫🍫🍫

  1. Pour 2 cups existential questioning into an empty bowl. 
  2. Add 1/2 cup human knowledge and 3/4 cup yearning for the infinite.
  3. Mix with 3 tsp humility and a dash of wonder. 
  4. Add liberal amounts of certain proof for intelligent design (ie chocolate).
  5. Stir until you are satisfied with its finite existence. 
  6. Bake at 350 until it exudes its essence. 
  7. Cut in pieces small enough to fit the human mind and enjoy with coffee and conversation about the transcendence of being. 
  8. Forgive me for being silly at 2 am! 😋

Recipe For Laughter

Tonight my toddler came up with his own recipe. Impressive, right? 


“What a little chef!” exclaims Grandma over the internet. “Un petit gourmét!” coos a French food connoisseur who stumbled unwittingly into Crazy Land. 

But wait! Before your hearts swell with pride at the culinary prowress of my two year old, read what it is he made. A very simple recipe, with 4 steps:

1. Pick up baby bowl of fruit salad.

2. Dump into little bowl of alphagetties. 

3. Add a cup of berry punch. 

4. Laugh. Repeat in reverse order…ish. Laugh more. 

Of course his four big sisters loved the performance, which only aggravated the èncores….

Sigh….well, at least he likes to help with the dishes!