Hug your toddler
Kiss your husband
Drink some coffee
Call your best friend
Listen to music so
You can sing in the rain
Brush your teeth
Smile again
Eat cookies
Do it all again
Category: Poetry
Dull Ache
Dull ache
like I’ve fallen flat on face
Grey skies
match my insides
It’s hard to talk
about her today
The pain throbs
in a delicate way
that won’t leave
I’m sitting here
eating Cheerios without cheer
My little ones laugh
and sing
but I don’t feel like doing a thing
Strange day
now that she’s gone away
The neighbourhood seems
empty and odd
Life’s going on
people bustling away
But I’m in this bubble
floating above
feeling lost
without my little love
Grey skies
match my insides
It’s gonna be awhile
till I find colour again
But in the mean time
I’m hoping for rainbows
looking for sun though my tears
Song of Longing for Little Ones
United in grief we stand
here with our hearts in our hands
Walk with me pretty please
so I’m not alone
so I’m not alone
Reach through your pain
to touch mine
Let me heal yours
you heal mine
Together we’ll bear
this big weight
holding on tight
to ropes of grace
Let my tears
wash you clean
begin anew
to feel free
Love is strong
oh, so strong
It tramples death
with it’s song
“I am alive
forever alive
In your hearts
you know that’s right”
Our little ones sleep
but in peace
This is the joy
in our grief
Walk not alone
on this path
silently tread
so often before
Let my cry break
the prison of glass
that’s freezing your heart
that’s holding you back
Shout out your grief
let your heart thaw
In the warmth of the sun
things don’t feel so raw
Together we stand
united in grief
Love makes us whole
it makes us complete
Keep up your chin
sparkle a smile
You’ll see your little one
in a little while
Josephine
Josephine flashed before us
with the brightness and beauty
of a shooting star
Our hearts are broken by the briefness
of her visit with us
She has climbed onto our Father God’s lap
and is whispering to him our secrets
with sweet confidence
Speak to her in your hearts
the only language she will ever know is love
Carry Me
You carry me above the waters
lest I drown in my sorrows
And it is safe
to let my heart break
because it falls
into your hands
And though it feels
shattered and broken
yet your love
my heart can heal
So carry me
above the waters
and make my heart
arise anew
Dancing with Werewolves
In the midnight darkness
put on your dancing shoes
Get up out of apathy
Break free from this werewolf skin
growing over you
Choose to dance
through the suffering
Strip away the heaviness
restricting you and breath
Find a way to dance
until that thick black fur falls off
Throw down those claws
and release those dreadful teeth
Let tears wash away
the moonstruck thief
whose madness has stolen your peace
Turn off all the lights
and dance at 2 am
Remember that beauty hidden deep within
the teenage passion for life
feelings too strong and deep to express with words
Reveal the maiden with the glowing skin
the one whose laughter shows the joy within
who can dance like nobody’s business
and loves to, even 9 months pregnant
You are that same girl
who danced in the Kootenays
laughing with Janine
as her blond hair fell over her face
and her arms wove a tapestry
in the half-lit room
filled with music
Mama’s Waiting to Hold You
Soon the stillness will be over
my night vigils will be broken by tiny cries
tiny eyes and tiny fingers
a little sweet mouth seeking comfort
A snuggle of a precious person
I’m holding for the first moment
of forever
Until then
you’ve wished to spend this time with me
your child
in silence and contemplation
to help me remember the depths within
buried by the business of day
Carry me the way I’m carrying her
because I need you just as much
Help me see in the fiery heartburn
and endless nighttime trips to the bathroom
the forge of your love
shaping me by these vigils of prayer
for the great work you have for me
entrusting me with another soul
a little person to love forever
Bless her abundantly
this little one squirming in my belly
and through her
bless the world
On 2 am Poetry (and Chocolate Cake)
Oh the strange vigils of late pregnancy
when losing the battle between hunger and heartburn
means staying awake for the long haul
shuffling position in bed
and crunching tums like candy
Then taking long showers past midnight
and finally giving in to chocolate cake
at 2am
to appease that nocturnal belly beast
who jealously demands spoils
the way a dragon demands treasure
Only in this strange vigil of late pregnancy
would I be submitting poems to a prairie newspaper
at this ungodly hour
while eating plain yogurt with maple syrup
and sipping warm almond milk
to get sleepy
I wonder if I should go stare at the moon
with the ravenous racoons
who prowl my back yard
or stay inside and pray
cause it seems—
after the craziness of the day with kids—
that in this quiet moment
God wants to hang out
keeping me company in this sleepy solitude
as we wait together for the dawn of birth
A Small Step
A small step
in the midst of great difficulties
can be a miracle
The heroic efforts of a bumble bee
more impressive
than a charging rhino kicking up dust
all show
It’s not perfection
but struggle that matters
not impressive credentials
but the straining of the heart
towards something truly beautiful
living a life of love
full of little sacrifices
getting up again and again
Keep trying
keep smiling
remember the ideal
that sets fire to your heart
Never let discouragement
drown the flames altogether
Blow on that ember of hope
Remember who you are
Forget trying to please others
modifying yourself to be more palatable to them
You can never please anyone
by pretending
It’s better to go down in flames
like a shooting star
completely crazy
but lighting up the world
with your own form of madness
You will inspire
or you will be despised
but at least you will be you
There are worse things
than being rejected
Bumbling Towards You
How often I need to visit you, Lord
seeking you throughout the day
as a bee seeks flowers
constantly searching for sweetness
Again and again
I alight in little pools of beauty
drinking deeply to refresh my soul
and sustain my flight
If I failed to do so
out of busyness
I would be as a bee
too distracted to visit flowers
and would end up a dry shell
on the parched summer pavement
Draw me to you, Lord
with your beauteous colours
your enticing fragrance
your delicate invitation
like an open flower
waiting for a kiss
Remind me that with you
hot summer days and hard work
turn into liquid golden honey
and in all things and every day
keep me bumbling towards you
Just East Of Crazy Land 