Start with cookies made by a sweet friend:
Add people you love:
And a living room dance party with kids:
Have your cake, and eat it, too:
Open sweet and thoughtful gifts from people who know you well:
Go say a little prayer to give thanks for the year:
And take the kids out for sushi:
Walk home by the light of the moon, under the watch of angels:
Thank you to all my beautiful family and friends who made such an effort to cheer me up on my special day. I really did enjoy it! Love you all!
Today I want to share with you an article I recently wrote about losing my little Josephine during labour. I’ve had a hard time doing much narrative about this event, and have mostly blogged poetry since it occurred, as it felt like a safer way to express myself somehow.
But I really felt called to share my experience and to reach out to other bereaved parents, so I was very pleased when the paper accepted my article. I’m posting the link to it in honour of a dear friend who lost her baby son three years ago today. Perhaps you can all send a little extra prayer her way. The pain of losing a little one comes and goes in waves, and I imagine it might be stronger again today. Honouring this in some way is part of healing.
The Mystery of Losing a Little One
So to all bereaved parents, I send you my deepest condolences, and stand with you in your pain. May you know that your children are still an amazing gift, and that you have been for them not so much a place of death, as a gate to Heaven.
May our little stars shine forth with their pure, sweet light and ever guide us home.
It’s a simple fact of life that we all need close friends. They are the ones who make life more bearable when it’s hard, and make it more joyful when there’s happiness to share. They are the ones we call on bad days when we need a laugh, or on dark nights when we need to cry.
For me, Jay and Laura Dear have always been these kind of friends. They are the first friends of my first boyfriend (now husband) that I met, and they embraced me—a skinny, nervous 19 year old—right from the start. For this I’ll forever be grateful. They made me feel like family.
James and I used to curl up on their couch watching movies with them and eating their yummy black bean burritos. Their house was always cosy and safe. It’s where I went all upset when I got fired from a café in university for getting swindled out of too much change. It’s where I watched in shock as the Twin Towers crashed down on 9/11. No matter what was happening in my life, laughter and hugs awaited me there.
So you can understand that when Laura, my confidant, my maid of honour, my loyal friend and kindred spirit, called asking for me help the other day, my answer was, “Of course!”
Her little nephew in Ontario, Kyram, a sweet-tempered little boy with major disabilities, is in need. He was born very early, just over half-way though the pregnancy. Amazingly, Kyram made it and is now almost 9 years old but he requires 24 hour care, even to make sure he keeps breathing at night. Sadly his mother Simone passed away a few years after Kyram’s birth. His loving father Myles, Jay’s brother, being a single working parent, has to have hired help for Kyram whenever he can’t be there himself. Naturally, this is very expensive but funds from Simone’s life insurance have run out. Please join us in praying for a financial solution for Kyram’s care.
Here is a link to Kyram’s YouCaring.com page where you can learn more about him and, if you feel called to do so, make a tax deductible donation that goes towards covering his medical expenses. Kyram’s family would also appreciate it if you could share his story and let others know about his fundraising campaign. The website has links for sharing through Facebook and other social media.
http://www.youcaring.com/helpKyram
Life is so much richer when we reach out and touch other hearts. May you be surrounded always by many dear friends, and never know the loneliness of struggling alone.
Here is a link to a recent news article about Kyram:
Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.
St. Thomas Moore
So many signs of tenderness continue to pour in, along with meals and assurances of prayers, as we grieve the sudden loss of our baby Josephine during labour three weeks ago. We are so blessed by these many signs of sweetness. Thank you to everyone who has shown us such generosity and support. God is finding so many ways to say “I love you” to us every day.
Here are pictures of a few:
Two dozen gorgeous pink roses sent to our door from a couple in our parish:
A single perfect rose left anonymously at her grave:
A plant for me to take care of, called a Josephine:
All who have been touched by beauty are touched by sorrow at it’s passing.
Louise Cordana
Lend me your hope for awhile. A time will come when I will heal, and lend my renewed hope to others.
Eloise Cole
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart. You shall see in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Khalil Gibran
Josephine Pilar, our sweet little star, we are so grateful for you! We will love you forever!
United in grief we stand
here with our hearts in our hands
Walk with me pretty please
so I’m not alone
so I’m not alone
Reach through your pain
to touch mine
Let me heal yours
you heal mine
Together we’ll bear
this big weight
holding on tight
to ropes of grace
Let my tears
wash you clean
begin anew
to feel free
Love is strong
oh, so strong
It tramples death
with it’s song
“I am alive
forever alive
In your hearts
you know that’s right”
Our little ones sleep
but in peace
This is the joy
in our grief
Walk not alone
on this path
silently tread
so often before
Let my cry break
the prison of glass
that’s freezing your heart
that’s holding you back
Shout out your grief
let your heart thaw
In the warmth of the sun
things don’t feel so raw
Together we stand
united in grief
Love makes us whole
it makes us complete
Keep up your chin
sparkle a smile
You’ll see your little one
in a little while
Have you ever had one of those months where you get a mouse in your kitchen, your stove breaks, you’re pregnant during what feels like a heat wave (and wearing charming compression stockings that make you look and feel about 80), the leftovers get burned and set off smoke alarms late at night, and on top of it all, your back goes out?
Times like this, it’s amazing to have a mind-reading friend, a really good old friend from university, one of the people who is like family to you, email you out of the blue and offer to stop by and bring you dinner. The friend you wanted to call for help but didn’t want to disturb, who heard your silent prayer and took time out of writing her thesis to help you. This is what happened to me.
My friend Katie brought a green salad, Thai chicken soup, cherries and her sweet company. Simply wonderful. We dove into a great conversation about homeschool, writing and being contemplative in the midst of busy daily life. How being prayerful helps us to focus and be inspired when we write. Nothing like a really good talk to feed the soul.
Here are some pictures of the dinner we were lucky enough to receive!
Thai Chicken Soup with red peppers:
Don’t forget fresh lime…
“Yum!” says baby.
My 8 year old said: “It tastes Thai-tastic!” and “The cucumbers are cucumber-licious!”
She’s my big helper.
“Aaah, that’s cool!” My 6 year old had seconds of chicken and salad and said “It tastes good.”
So Katie, thanks for being so lovely! My world is a more beautiful place because of you, and dinner was delicious, as was the break from cooking! 😉 Getting to chat with you over iced coffee (life-saver!) reaffirmed the goodness of the world, and put little struggles in perspective. Life can’t help but be wonderful when you are loved.
Also recently my Dad brought me flowers, my mom called to say how much she loves me, my brother found and cleaned up the icky dead mouse (heroic!), my landlords bought us a brand new oven, my friend Ida brought us bread from Cobbs and Milton brought us treats from Starbucks, and my friend Sara took my big girls swimming with her daughter twice to give them an outing and me a break. There is so much to be grateful for! For every challenge, I bet we could all count three blessings. One of them is that challenges help us to be humble enough to reach out and ask for help, which gives people a chance to be heroes and show us how much they love us.
May you all be blessed with friends and family like mine!
Today one of my closest, oldest friends came over to spend the day with me and the kids. There is something really special about spending time with someone who has stood by you through the years, ever since you were an awkward skinny teenager, and loved you all that time. She’s the kind of friend I can imagine having fun with when we’re both grey-haired and wrinkly, and still laughing our heads off.
Today, just because, she brought us homemade muffins and soup. They were both delicious, and the baby gave us quite the performance eating his soup. Typical of my children, he wanted to do it himself.
He he thought that Greek Red Lentil Soup was best as a full body experience.
It’s likely very good for the skin…
And good to the last drop!
Here’s the link to the recipe, which is originally from the Rebar cook book:
We blended it with a hand mixer to make it kid-friendly….no bits to pick out! But for the adults, the feta crumbled on top makes it truly delicious, and some bread to dip in and and wipe your plate with is a great way to get every last drop, too, without dumping it on your head!
This beautiful delicate snowdrop, pushing its way out of the rubble of mushy brown leaves, sticks and manure, to let its little pure white head glow in the sunlight, is a sweet sign that spring is slowly coming, that hope for renewal after winter is alive. A sign that even when life makes us face our worst fears, such as the death of a loved one, we can come out of the haze of sadness with eyes that still see the beauty of the world.
I dedicate this picture to my great friend and fellow blogger Monique Leblanc, the one who inspired me to begin sharing my adventures in Crazyland. I offer it for her especially, because she recently passed the due date of her son Hilary, who was born asleep half way through her pregnancy. His appearance was like this snowdrop, brief and achingly beautiful.
I offer it also because she has recently moved from the balmy west coast to the frozen (but friendly!) fields of Saskatchewan, and is much more likely to be seeing snow ploughs than snow drops at this time. The great thing is that she thinks this is fun! 🙂
I want to honour her unfailing friendship, her joyful sense of adventure, and her great dedication to her family. She has been for years, and always will be, a wonderful inspiration for me. She embraced me and believed in me when we first became friends, and has never ceased to love and encourage me. Cicero said so poignantly:
What sweetness is left in life if you take away friendship? Robbing the world of friendship is like robbing the world of the sun.
I was afraid of losing her closeness when she moved away, but instead feel closer to her than ever, thanks to the phone, and her uncanny ability to know when I just really need to talk to her. As Anne Shirley said so well: “True friends are always together in spirit.”
Blogging has also helped us to stay close as we try our hands at writing and jump into this wonderful online community together. Check out the awesome blog she writes with her husband Ryan at thelasttimechange.blogspot.ca/
Life can be tough, but if you have a good friend to laugh and even cry with, everything is ok. It gives life a stability that can sustain you through the roughest waters, and help you laugh over your little daily disasters with someone who knows you better than you know yourself. Our old buddy Cicero agrees:
Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.
I hope all of you have friends like this. Have you told them lately how much they mean to you?
Just East Of Crazy Land 