Homeschooling Keeps Siblings Close

One of the nice things about homeschool is that you can always be with your favourite “friends.” Everybody, no matter how big or small or imaginary, is included.

One of my favourite things about having the 5 kids learning at home is how close they are…and how the kids of difference ages interact, include and care for each other. They are not artificially separated into age groups and a myriad of separate activities, so they don’t forget how to play together. Many homeschool activities can be done together, like reading and discussing stories, learning about things from animals to waterfalls, doing art, putting on plays, singing, dancing, doing nature walks and running outside.

Playing hairdresser for drama class charades

Nor do the kids get easily bored. They are quite happy to turn the living room into a giant block tower and Duplo city while I get the dishes done. Or to build endless forts with blankets and upturned furniture. Of course all this teamwork means there is also an organized team effort to drive me crazy, but happily I’ve already been crazy for a long time!  Comes with the territory! 😉

Little Joe Plays Peek-a-Boo

This poem is dedicated to the children of my close friend, who recently suffered an early miscarriage, shortly after the joy of discovering she was expecting another little one. They feel quite sure he was a boy, and have named him Joseph, just like my little Josephine. I’m sure they’re playing together right now.

As Dr. Seuss says, “A person’s a person, no matter how small,” and there is no one too small to be honoured here in Crazy Land, so here is a little poem, with love.

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Little Joe Plays Peek-A-Boo

Little Joe plays peek-a-boo,
he pops up his smiling head
just long enough to blow a kiss
then to his heavenly bed

He snuggles down
his golden crown
of angel’s softest thread
sweetly woven and gently placed
upon his tiny head

And in between his pleasant dreams
he gazes down at you
and smiles to see
bravely carrying on
the hearts who love him true

And if the tears come
now and then
don’t worry or feel shame
your little brother gathers them
like precious jewels
and with them writes your name

Speak to him softly
he hears you
oh so close though he seems far
for between hearts that love each other
there is no gate or bar

Your Joseph keeps the windows open
and the latch upon the Heavenly door
is open ever ready
for when you all come Home
once more

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Let’s try that again! When baby presses publish…

Well, well, yesterday I broke my record for shortest post. A handful of words with a spelling mistake, and nothing more! This is because I was trying to multitask, as moms always do, and was blogging on the floor while my curious one year old tried to touch my iPad…and scared me into pressing “publish” by accident instead of “save draft,” before getting up to put my iPad away. So sorry to all my followers who received this weirdo post in their email inboxes!

What I meant to write about “brilliant yet simple parenting advice” (see my last post) was something like this:

Attention Modern Parents! The answer to all your woes is here! Would you like a simple way to advance your child’s social, intellectual and emotional development? Would you like them to be entertained for hours without your having to play clown? For them to learn their numbers, letters and colours with without you teaching them? For their speech and vocabulary to develop rapidly? For them to feel safe, happy and confident that they can contribute to the world?

Modern parents, ever concerned with their child keeping up with age-appropriate development, are salivating but clutching their wallets nervously. What could this secret solution be, and how much will it cost? Is it Baby Einstein DVDs, expensive preschool, private tutors for toddlers, a magic diet of organic seaweed? What could it be?!

The solution in fact is simple, natural, and fun to make.

It’s a sibling.

And if this seems too simple, here’s some photographic evidence:

First of all, despite excessive media paranoia about sibling jealousy, little kids naturally love babies, and therefore each other.

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Having siblings does a lot of good things in a simple way.

Stimulating the imagination and developing speech = playing puppets

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Encouraging them to observe their natural surroundings =
ants on the driveway are exciting when you look at them together

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Expressing emotion and developing socially = playing dress up

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Developing patience and delaying gratification =
waiting for your turn to ride the unicorn

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Promoting contentment and appreciation for simple pleasures =
an hour whips by when you have a box and a baby to play with

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Teaching responsibility and concern for others =
giving your baby brother a ride to the park

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Building confidence and a sense of worth =
I’m a big sister and can take care of the baby

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Promoting social development, building friendship and trust =
crossing the road together is safer and more fun

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Stimulating a love for learning = big sister plays teacher

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Kids pick up what’s around them so when they are surrounded with other little people they learn to speak, walk, sing ABC’s, count, dance, play, paint and draw without you as a parent even having to teach them. This has been my experience anyway. They also learn how to defend themselves, how to be loyal, and how to care for others. These are all great life skills, and hard to teach in a course.

So instead of frantically signing your kid up for Ferber, Gerber, Berber and every other new method that claims to be the magic solution for healthy development, how about signing them up for life by allowing them to experience the magic of family.

Besides, being the only can be lonely, especially when mom and dad are so busy taking care of things.

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And as one added bonus, although you may be tired at the end of the day, so are your little fairies, who have been running themselves ragged playing together all day. You can enjoy some blissful quiet time…perhaps reading, blogging, or just staring at them thinking how beautiful they are when asleep.

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Helping Heroes: 10 Reasons It’s a Good Thing to Accept Help.

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Accepting help is hard to do for many people…it’s something we need to learn in life, or perhaps relearn after losing our childhood ability to reach out and take a helping hand without shame. Often as grown-ups we feel the need to be a superhero and do it all alone, but aren’t the Avengers much better as a team?

If we can see our fellow human beings as cooperators, instead of competitors, we’ll be a lot more willing to offer and accept help. After all, aren’t we all trying to do our little bit to make the world a better place?

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It can be hard to swallow our pride and ask for assistance, so here’s ten reasons why it’s good to ask for help:

1. You need it. Come on, no one is perfect. Everybody struggles. To pretend otherwise is to pretend to be a robot. People are much more loveable.

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2. You give others an opportunity to shine. Let someone else be the hero for once. You don’t need to take all the credit. Everyone has special talents, and getting to use them helps people feel useful and important.

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3. Being vulnerable enough to ask for help allows others to be honest about themselves with you and deepens friendship. It opens the door for them to ask for help or advice, too. You come to know each other better.

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4. You teach your kids to do the same. Do you want them to tough it out alone when they really need help, or to know how to lean on others in hard times? They will imitate you in this.

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5. Doing stuff together is way more fun. Whether it’s a big shopping trip, cleaning the garage, trying a new recipe or artistic endeavour, life is more fun when you have someone to share the load and laugh with.

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6. You allow others to love you. We all show our love in different ways, but many of us show our affection by acts of kindness and generosity. When we say no to these things, we are saying no to love.

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7. Accepting help enables you to practice gratitude, which makes your life more beautiful and happy. Moreover, knowing how to accept help gracefully is attractive.

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8. If it takes a village to raise a child, it also takes one to be a good parent or spouse. Think about this. Becoming the best person you can be doesn’t happen in isolation.

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9. You’re not alone. There are probably ten people who would drop everything to come help you, if you just asked. When we open our hearts to help from others, we receive so much more than we imagined; unexpected goodness keeps coming when we open this door.

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10. Cause I said so. So there.

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Now wasn’t that helpful? 😉

No Elephants In The Graveyard

About a month ago, at the ripe old age of 32, I had my third driving lesson. Yup, I don’t know how to drive, yet…

I wasn’t that interested in high school; we literally lived in a village, two blocks from the lake and about four to school, so there wasn’t much need. Then I was busy working, then university, then married and having little kids, and that brings us to today.

My husband doesn’t drive either, but the bus has served us well; we have saved money and paid off tons of student loans, and have met many interesting people. However, now as a family of seven, we take up about half the bus, so it’s time we got our own.

My ‘little’ brother, whose birth I remember as an eight year old girl, and who is now a foot taller than me, is bravely teaching me to drive in his gorgeous boat of a Cadillac. I feel like a little gramma in the low, comfy seat, peaking over the wheel.

We are practicing in the graveyard near my house, as it’s very quiet, and there aren’t many people around I could actually hurt (sorry–it’s hard not to make cheesy jokes when learning to drive in a graveyard).

At the gates there is this funny sign:

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I’m getting a little more confident about the basic start and stop, making smoother turns, etc, and do ok if I relax and just feel the road. When I think too much and check mirrors 800 times/minute it gets a little tricky.

“Just be smooth and predictable,” advised my brother, “and try to breathe.”

This was working pretty well but then we added a new challenge: backing up. And then doing a turn backing up. And then figuring out what to do after hitting a small tree while backing up. Which is not gun the break, I discovered.

Oops. There went the side light.

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I immediately began to apologize.

“I’m so sorry! I can get out. You can drive. I totally understand if we’re done with lessons.”
“No, it’s fine. You can’t stop now. If you quit now you’ll be afraid. Keep going.”

I’m baffled. My brother is a 25 year old guy with a Cadillac I’ve just seriously crunched on one corner. A guy who really likes cars.

“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. It’s just a car. It’s just a thing.”

No dirty looks. Totally sincere.

“You’re awesome,” I say, thoroughly impressed. I feel honoured to matter more than the car, even right in that moment.

So on we go.

That night after dinner we have a great discussion about fear and confidence, about how being willing to take risks and make mistakes is essential to actually becoming confident. About how many fears are just phantom menaces, ridiculous things we’ve conjured up in our minds, like elephants in the graveyard.

We decide that maybe our example of confidence, despite being imperfect, is one of the most important things we can give our kids. So they can feel free to go out and make mistakes of their own on their way to doing great things.

A few days later he emails me a picture entitled “Duct Tape Victory: duct tape and a hair dryer can fix anything.”

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Despite my graveyard smash, I still like driving ok, and obviously want to improve. But my favorite part of learning to drive is hanging out with my brother more often, and getting to know him better. The little sweet toddler I remember is growing up to be quite the fantastic man, and I’m proud to be his sister. Currently, driving lessons are on hold as he’s away for some time visiting our other brother in Hawaii. I’m so happy they can be together. Important bro-time. But when he gets back, I can’t wait to chase elephants in the graveyard with him again.

Summer Morning Memory

I remember hazy summer mornings with my brothers,
exploring the long yellow grass by the country road,
picking up garter snakes by the tips of their tails
and watching them wriggle.
I remember the rustling sound
of crickets in the dry grass….
that smell of wild flowers and freedom.

When we got hot we used to go hide out
in the shade of the forest around our cabins
and look for tiny frogs.
We’d catch them and make them swim
across our little kiddy pool
again and again until laughing
we let our magic moving toys squirm out of our hands
into the cool green grass.

Man! What I would give for a time machine,
a pair of cutoff jean shorts and a little grubby t-shirt,
being there again, a kid.
Except this time I’d bring my kids–
all 5 of them
to play with me.