Spring means kids confidently strolling ahead under the cherry blossoms…
And moms dreamily distracted by the lush beauty above.
Wishing you all a sweet spring!
Category: Family Life
Happy Flowers and Cleaning Robots
Aaah, housekeeping…you know when you’ve just mopped the floor, and then someone spills soup or juice all over it…or when you spent 10 minutes scrubbing the highchair and letting it dry in the sun, and after the next meal no one can tell? Well, ‘bean’ there, done that!
Housekeeping can be overwhelming sometimes, but not as much when you don’t do it all alone. The other day the kids were into helping, so we all put on our aprons and got to business. It’s funny how if you say, “Let’s play house!” a chore becomes a game.
Even the baby tried to help:
My little homeschooler had a great idea as she helped with the dishes: “I’m going to be a cleaning robot who listens to all the mommies in the world and helps them.” Sounds good to me!
Although they really like being involved with whatever I’m doing, they’re not always this cooperative, and the smaller ones usually enjoy dumping out the toy bins more than refilling them…but I’ll take every good day as a gift!
For a good post on kids and chores, check out my friend Monique Leblanc’s “The Last Time Change: Family, faith and moving to the prairie.”
http://thelasttimechange.blogspot.ca/2014/03/why-my-kids-do-chores.html
Let’s try that again! When baby presses publish…
Well, well, yesterday I broke my record for shortest post. A handful of words with a spelling mistake, and nothing more! This is because I was trying to multitask, as moms always do, and was blogging on the floor while my curious one year old tried to touch my iPad…and scared me into pressing “publish” by accident instead of “save draft,” before getting up to put my iPad away. So sorry to all my followers who received this weirdo post in their email inboxes!
What I meant to write about “brilliant yet simple parenting advice” (see my last post) was something like this:
Attention Modern Parents! The answer to all your woes is here! Would you like a simple way to advance your child’s social, intellectual and emotional development? Would you like them to be entertained for hours without your having to play clown? For them to learn their numbers, letters and colours with without you teaching them? For their speech and vocabulary to develop rapidly? For them to feel safe, happy and confident that they can contribute to the world?
Modern parents, ever concerned with their child keeping up with age-appropriate development, are salivating but clutching their wallets nervously. What could this secret solution be, and how much will it cost? Is it Baby Einstein DVDs, expensive preschool, private tutors for toddlers, a magic diet of organic seaweed? What could it be?!
The solution in fact is simple, natural, and fun to make.
It’s a sibling.
And if this seems too simple, here’s some photographic evidence:
First of all, despite excessive media paranoia about sibling jealousy, little kids naturally love babies, and therefore each other.
Having siblings does a lot of good things in a simple way.
Stimulating the imagination and developing speech = playing puppets
Encouraging them to observe their natural surroundings =
ants on the driveway are exciting when you look at them together
Expressing emotion and developing socially = playing dress up
Developing patience and delaying gratification =
waiting for your turn to ride the unicorn
Promoting contentment and appreciation for simple pleasures =
an hour whips by when you have a box and a baby to play with
Teaching responsibility and concern for others =
giving your baby brother a ride to the park
Building confidence and a sense of worth =
I’m a big sister and can take care of the baby
Promoting social development, building friendship and trust =
crossing the road together is safer and more fun
Stimulating a love for learning = big sister plays teacher
Kids pick up what’s around them so when they are surrounded with other little people they learn to speak, walk, sing ABC’s, count, dance, play, paint and draw without you as a parent even having to teach them. This has been my experience anyway. They also learn how to defend themselves, how to be loyal, and how to care for others. These are all great life skills, and hard to teach in a course.
So instead of frantically signing your kid up for Ferber, Gerber, Berber and every other new method that claims to be the magic solution for healthy development, how about signing them up for life by allowing them to experience the magic of family.
Besides, being the only can be lonely, especially when mom and dad are so busy taking care of things.
And as one added bonus, although you may be tired at the end of the day, so are your little fairies, who have been running themselves ragged playing together all day. You can enjoy some blissful quiet time…perhaps reading, blogging, or just staring at them thinking how beautiful they are when asleep.
A Joyful Day: Bussing with Kids
Today as I was riding the bus with the kids I struck up a conversation with an older gentleman sitting next to me. It was a gorgeous March day, full of the smell of blossoms and the tentative warmth of the newly emerging spring sunshine.
“So did you order the weather?” I asked.
After a few pleasantries about the beautiful day, how spoiled we are on the west coast, and what an amazingly diverse city we live in, he turned and smiled at the kids. One in the stroller, more on seats, one in the snuggly on my chest.
“You’ve got your hands full.”
“Yes, I admit I do!” I laughed, having heard this phrase countless times before.
But then the elderly gentleman surprised me. He followed this banal, overused cliché with one of the nicest things anyone has said to me about parenting.
“But every day is a joy,” he said in the voice of one who remembers.
“It’s so true. They say so many funny things, and are always making tons of cute pictures just for me, and are all amazing.”
I can’t express how much his comment made my day. How that simple phrase affirmed that life is beautiful and worth living. How it pointed out that there is joy in giving, joy in loving, joy in sharing life in a family.
How despite things sometimes being a crazy zoo, full of shrieks and laughter and chaos, running over with spilled juice and bath water, and littered with stickers and Cheerios that stick to my socks (try that for fun!), life in a big family is a beautiful thing, and each day is a joy.
Opa the Coffee King
How do you know you’re a coffee wimp (like me) instead of an afficionado? When you drink it for various reasons other than enjoyment of the coffee taste. And perhaps can’t stand it black.
As a teenager I thought it smelled so gross I made a bet with a true afficianado, my Dutch step-dad Rob, that I wouldn’t drink any coffee until after graduation. Coffee is a sacred morning ritual for him…perfect preparation of the perfect cup…and the ongoing quest for the best bean..despite all this I held out and won my $100!
But now I drink coffee for three reasons: cream, sugar and caffeine. And kids! Helps me keep up with the little monkeys…my kids have told me in the past, “Mom, maybe you need a coffee to feel better.” You said it honey!
One of my daughters likes to share a sip of my afternoon coffee, with plenty of milk of course.
I like to call it “cheerfulness in a cup.” That little boost to get your day started when you feel like you’re wading through the morning fog in your head, or to pick you up after the afternoon slump, when you have fallen asleep reading the kids stories on the couch, or on some days, when you need your caffeinated buddy to cook dinner with you and make it to bed time. For many parents, as my dear friends say, “Coffee is purely medicinal.”
Because of this, I’m willing to drink it pretty much any way, except black, which makes for interesting experiences when I’ve run out of milk. I’ve had coffee:
With strawberry soy milk (barf!)
With Reece Pieces ice cream (yum, in a strange, ice cream float way…)
With powdered milk (meh!)
With canned coconut milk (ick!)
And all this for someone who used to be a barista!! I can see your heads shaking in dismay…
Although I admit I have found one coffee I like for it’s taste, Starbucks medium Kenya blend. And any coffee that Rob makes tastes good, because he has that magic touch.
The thing is, that the way my step-dad makes coffee–heating the thick cups so they’ll keep the coffee warm, measuring carefully, pouring slowly, lovingly cleaning his espresso machine every day–reflect the artistry and patience of a true craftsman, and the sincere belief that if you’re going to do something, you should do it right.
This attitude imbues his whole life, and as a result he has done many things very, very well, and created a lot of beauty. The same hands that make the perfect cup of coffee have made beautiful houses, films, clothing and most remarkably, miniature steam trains that really work.
I admire him a lot, and as today is his birthday, want to wish him, my children’s wonderful Opa, “Haartelijk Gefelicteerd!” And may you make many more beautiful cups of coffee before you run out of steam! 🙂
First Steps into Spring
This March was marked by various first steps: the first steps of my husband’s grandmother Doris Doherty into heaven, and the first steps of our little boy here on earth. He waited until his Daddy got back home from the funeral in Ontario before he walked, and then took his first four steps towards us shortly after he got back from the airport.
So here are some pictures of spring flowers in honour of the kind, warm, playful grandmother we are missing, with her wonderful sense of humour and warm British accent; though her voice may fade from our ears, we will ever hear it in our hearts.
Sometimes, the sight of spring flowers and the sound of birds singing again after the silence of winter is enough to make me believe in heaven. That there is a beauty which endures beyond death, and that the bonds of love are truly indestructible.
Even a few brave bees are foraging among the flowers for nectar on this chilly spring day, and bringing their findings back home. May all who are struggling and suffering be as strong as these hopeful bees, who never give up believing that as long as they keep working together, they can make sweetness out of their struggle.
Sleepyhead # 2 Takes Up the Torch
I thought it would be fitting, as we continue to battle the tummy bugs, to write something Olympic, so I chose the heroic sport we specialize in here in Crazyland: Olympic Napping. Although less well known than some extreme sports, Olympic Napping is a sure crowd pleaser, as it combines cuteness, quietness, versatility and endurance in one small package.
Last week I wrote about Sleepyhead # 1 battling the tummy bugs, and now her big sister is following suit. Here is the little one performing the famous couch nap:
Her big sister, our gold medal contender, age 3 1/2, has a long career in Olynapping, as its fans lovingly call it, and is especially known for her ability to nap in any position, situation, or space. She has fallen asleep in strollers, boxes, chairs and tents, on couches, beds and the floor. As long as she has her trusty fuzzy blanket, so essential to her sport, victory is hers.
Even as an infant she dreamt of Olympic gold:
And soon mastered the peacefulness technique:
As a precocious youngster, she even attempted to nap while eating chocolate cake!
A very self motivated Olynapper, she sometimes puts herself to bed, just to get a little more practice in.
She is much praised by the judges for her capacity to sleep though all sorts of chaotic noise without even stirring.
A further note must be made about her endurance: in today’s contest, Olynapper vs the icky tummy, she slept almost the entire day, with only a brief foray from her Oly-tent to imbibe some hot chocolate.
To what does she attribute her great success in Olynapping?
Her new “ear muscles” and wearing large amounts of purple!
The Perfect Parent Lives in Timbuktu (and is likely a Sasquatch!)
I haven’t met the perfect parent. It’s not me. It’s likely not you either.
But that’s ok. Children are born of love, not perfection.
Still, sometimes we wonder if there is a scientific formula for being the perfect parent, a special combination of elements that will help us get it just right.
Our society encourages this; we are told we must have the right economic, educational, medical, emotional, and intellectual circumstances to responsibly have a child. It seems a very dangerous and risky business, and one must be perfectly prepared.
Sometimes people wait their whole lives to be perfectly ready. Baby room painted just so. Millions in the bank. 800 parenting books read. Relationship so stable it makes mountains look wispy and wobbly. Health just so, taking the right 60 vitamins, and doing yoga 10 hours a day.
What happened to something that used to be so natural? A creative overflow of love? Isn’t the sincere love between parents already giving your child a lot, especially in today’s world?
But our fear of being imperfect parents in an imperfect world really paralyzes us so much as a society. We fear traumatizing our kids and are haunted of visions of their future therapist’s couch before they even leave their cradle.
We are told we better consult the experts constantly, because we as “mere parents” (just rabbits really) know nothing. I don’t think all this fear is actually making us better parents, just less confident and optimistic ones.
If we risk having one, we think we shouldn’t have another, because we’re not perfect yet. The funny thing is though, that having another child helps us to grow better, more mature, relaxed and confident, and therefore helps our first child, too. Experience is a good teacher.
So please don’t let fear of your imperfection stop you from loving; that would be a terrible tragedy. None of us had perfect parents, but we’re still glad to be here, in this messy, imperfect, absurdly beautiful world.
While I haven’t met perfect parents, I have met perfect babies.
Actually many of them.
More specifically, ALL of them.
Each baby is perfect.
A perfect gift, a perfect miracle, a perfect parcel of love.
Each one makes the world more beautiful. That means you, too.
Siblings help each other to grow as well, precisely through their imperfection, their foibles and stubborn streaks; experiencing all this children learn, in a context of love, how to get along with, embrace and accept others.
If we are teaching our kids to love, to care for others and help them when they are down, we are doing a lot toward making the world a better place.
My kids can squabble as much as the next ones, but I was happy to see my older girls stepping up and caring for the younger ones this week when they weren’t feeling well. Here’s a picture of my 5 year old reading bedtime stories to her little sister. Without being asked. That made me really happy.
So stop worrying about being perfect, unless you want to go live with the Sasquatch, who can maybe give you some pointers.
Personally, I think what you need as a parent is love, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and grow, because as much as parenting will make your children grow, it’ll make you grow more.
Happy trails! And may you be abundantly blessed in love.
Sleepyhead vs. the Tummy Bug
Today my little one battled it out with a nasty tummy bug, using the best arsenal she had: closing those luscious blue eyes and sleeping whenever, and wherever she could, always accompanied by her special beige blankie. She napped on the carpet, on the couch, in her bunkbed, and most sweetly, in her highchair.
Although a few of my kids having fever and stomach flu aren’t the highlight of my week, I’ve got lots of things to be grateful for: my kind landlord who came right away and spent two hours repairing my oven when the oven door handle fell off earlier that day (a tricky task, we discovered!), Ida who gave me loads of lovely bread from Cobbs to feed my little monkeys, Milton who brought us muffins, Maria who come over today and helped me make dinner and clean up, too (using all the courage necessary to face my jungly sink and baby’s banana-covered highchair), and Natalie, who offered to drop off anything we needed, or even just felt like.
Sometimes, when life hands you a little icky flu, you see how surrounded by love you really are.
Why Being a Mom is a Lot Like Being a Rock Star
1. You have a loyal fan club who follows you around screaming.
2. You have no privacy. There is paparazzi even in the bathroom.
3. Cute people want to jump in your bed at all hours. People will do anything to spend time with you.
4. In the morning, the signs of partying hard are all there. It looks like wild animal stuck to your head, and then got electrocuted.
5. “Normal” noise levels are much louder for you than for most people. You host a lot of impromptu dance parties.
6. People copy everything you do…for better or for worse…
7. Lots of people you know are addicted to the bottle.
8. Your sense of fashion has drastically changed since you entered your current career.
9. You’re no stranger to feeling pukey in the morning.
10. You’re more ‘creative’ when you’re in love, and lots of people are in love with you.
Rock on, fellow moms! You are stars! Keep making that sweet music…
Just East Of Crazy Land 