Belly Poem

There’s a poem in my belly
Encrypted in code
A little tiny story
Waiting to be told

It’s curled up tight
in its tiny red room
little tiny heart beating
to the rythm of my womb

On publishing day
It’ll be so fine
To see my little poem
Come out and shine

Its path in the world
is yet unknown
but with time and love
it will be shown

Then my little poem
will shout out its song
unfurl it’s beauty
and sweep us along

Its story is just starting
But it’ll end never
Cause this little belly one
Is a poem to last forever

First Steps into Spring

This March was marked by various first steps: the first steps of my husband’s grandmother Doris Doherty into heaven, and the first steps of our little boy here on earth. He waited until his Daddy got back home from the funeral in Ontario before he walked, and then took his first four steps towards us shortly after he got back from the airport.

So here are some pictures of spring flowers in honour of the kind, warm, playful grandmother we are missing, with her wonderful sense of humour and warm British accent; though her voice may fade from our ears, we will ever hear it in our hearts.

Sometimes, the sight of spring flowers and the sound of birds singing again after the silence of winter is enough to make me believe in heaven. That there is a beauty which endures beyond death, and that the bonds of love are truly indestructible.

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Even a few brave bees are foraging among the flowers for nectar on this chilly spring day, and bringing their findings back home. May all who are struggling and suffering be as strong as these hopeful bees, who never give up believing that as long as they keep working together, they can make sweetness out of their struggle.

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Simply Delicious Sandwiches

Do you ever need something quick and easy, but still fresh and delicious to feed your loved one or yourself after a long day at work? Here are two lovely sandwich recipes that will make your evening a little picnic in Italy.

The Tomato Bocconcini and the Feta, Basil and Sweet Pepper Sandwiches

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Slice half a baguette in half. Drizzle both sides in a homemade dressing made from olive oil, balsamic vinegar, dried basil, dried oregano, fresh pepper, and a clove of crushed garlic. I always eyeball it, but it’s about 1/3 cup olive oil, a tablespoon or so balsamic vinegar, a tablespoon of basil, and a teaspoon of oregano, a small garlic clove and a few twists of pepper.

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Then layer one side of the baguette with sliced tomato, fresh basil leaves, and bocconcini (the pre-sliced medallions make this easy). Drizzle a little more dressing on top.

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Or, as an alternative use the same dressing but layer with fresh basil and sliced sweet pepper, and top with crumbled feta. This is for fussy ones like me who don’t like raw tomatoes. 😉 It’s really delicious, too!

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Turn the oven to broil on low and heat the sandwiches for about 5-8 minutes until warm. If you’re afraid of burning your creations, warm in the oven at 400 C for about 10 minutes instead. The idea is to make the cheese slightly gooey and the bread warm, and to make your house smell delicious.

Serve with olives and grapes on the side if you desire, and with a refreshing drink of some kind, be it sparkling cranberry juice, white wine, or even a Starbucks Refresher, my husband’s favourite.

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Enjoy! La vita e bella when you’re eating Italian!

Finish with chocolate if you like…our favourite is Ritter Sport.

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Of course, all the nuts in it make it extremely healthy! 😉

The Girl on Fire Finally Gets Burned

The coals of the firey Hunger Games trilogy are still smouldering on my iPad, several weeks after finishing it. Reading it was an intense experience, and one that made me think a lot. One of the most fascinating aspects was witnessing the slow, sad, mental breakdown of the heroin of the story, Katniss Everdeen. A passionate, intense teenager in a violent, unjust world, she struggles to fight against the repression of her state, and becomes increasingly embroiled in the plans of the rebels to take over from the sadistic President Snow.

For a long time Katniss is increasingly consumed by anger. It takes getting literally burned for her to realize it. That the fire of hatred burns not only the one hated, but the one who hates.

That being willing to do anything to destroy your enemy in fact destroys yourself, because it transforms you into them. That the greatest danger is perhaps not death after all, but losing yourself–what is essential to being you, your best part. It’s like Peeta said before the Hunger Games in book 1, that he wanted to die himself, instead of being corrupted by the Games. He didn’t want to be turned into a killer, a monster, someone willing to do whatever it took to achieve their goal, like the career tributes. At first Katniss can’t understand this way of thinking. All she can focus on is survival, for the sake of her little sister, and unwell mother, for whom she feels responsible.

Later she realizes to her horror, that the deeper into war you get, the more the line between ally and enemy blurs, the more the distinction between right and wrong fades, the more the shining idea of peace gets stained by so many splatters of blood.

In the end, so often betrayed and haunted by so many dead, Katniss trusts no one, and the only peace she can imagine is to join them in the grave, but this idea too gives her nightmares. I’m no expert, but I’m sure she has a bad case of PTSD (post-traumatic-stress-disorder).

Violence consumes her and spits her out broken; she is used as a symbol of rebellion, the Mockingjay, thinking that she is furthering the cause of freedom, when in fact she is helping the advancement if a new dictator, just as willing to kill as the last. When her usefulness expires, and her influence becomes a threat, she becomes expendable, and measures are taken.

The Hunger Games Trilogy beings and ends tragically: with the death of children. The abuse of precious and innocent human life as political bait, as hostages, as gory entertainment, as propaganda, as sacrifice for power, as a means to an end. The end is ugly.

But the books do not end in despair, but return to that small, precious hope of a quiet family life, faithful love, and children, made wiser by our experiences, with a future better than our past.

It reminds me of the return to the Shire at the end of The Lord of the Rings, after all the war and trauma of the journey to destroy the one ring, the ring of power, that nearly consumed Frodo. This ring likely would have killed or totally destroyed him without the faithful friendship of Samwise Gamgee, the kind, generous and brave friend who never abandoned him. After it is all done, and they have succeeded, the most beautiful thing is to see Sam return home to Rosie, to love, a hearth and home, to have a family. This is what makes all the sacrifice and heroism worth it.

Sam and Peeta both show us that what really matters, in worlds that can be so twisted and complex, is to remain true to our essential core, which is unswerving fidelity to those we love, and the realization that love is stronger than death, and is the force which has far more power to save our world than violence.

So what does this mean for us?

That when we are angry, we should seek peace.
That when we are disgusted by someone’s actions, we should still treat them with respect because they are a human being, and we, too, are capable of making many mistakes.
That when we are despised or mocked, we should not spit back nasty words, because returning evil for evil is a sure way to let our enemies win, by turning us into the kind of people whose actions were hurting us in the first place.
That we should never put people in simplistic boxes of good or evil, especially if labelling them the latter dehumanizes them. When we stop treating other people like human beings, we become monsters.

There is an expression worth pondering, that we must drown evil in an abundance of good. Often the best way to make the world a brighter place, instead of lashing out against the darkness, is to let the light of goodness shine by doing many simple, kind, and generous things, and trusting that all these little actions do add up to something important. If we teach this to our children, they can bear little torches of hope out into the world, and touch many lives for the better.

I don’t mean that we shouldn’t fight against injustice, and rally around the oppressed, but when we are in any kind of struggle, let’s remember what the rebels in the Hunger Games forgot: that not only the cause matters, but the way of fighting it, because fighting for a just cause by evil means poisons the whole thing.

And if the idea of violence against children rightly horrifies us, let’s remember that all people, of every background, were once children, too.

Auntie Reiko Makes Good Soup!

Today one of my closest, oldest friends came over to spend the day with me and the kids. There is something really special about spending time with someone who has stood by you through the years, ever since you were an awkward skinny teenager, and loved you all that time. She’s the kind of friend I can imagine having fun with when we’re both grey-haired and wrinkly, and still laughing our heads off.

Today, just because, she brought us homemade muffins and soup. They were both delicious, and the baby gave us quite the performance eating his soup. Typical of my children, he wanted to do it himself.

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He he thought that Greek Red Lentil Soup was best as a full body experience.

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It’s likely very good for the skin…

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And good to the last drop!

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Here’s the link to the recipe, which is originally from the Rebar cook book:

http://thewhiteplates.wordpress.com/2011/07/24/so-basically-im-just-blogging-the-entire-rebar-cookbook/

We blended it with a hand mixer to make it kid-friendly….no bits to pick out! But for the adults, the feta crumbled on top makes it truly delicious, and some bread to dip in and and wipe your plate with is a great way to get every last drop, too, without dumping it on your head!

Sleepyhead # 2 Takes Up the Torch

I thought it would be fitting, as we continue to battle the tummy bugs, to write something Olympic, so I chose the heroic sport we specialize in here in Crazyland: Olympic Napping. Although less well known than some extreme sports, Olympic Napping is a sure crowd pleaser, as it combines cuteness, quietness, versatility and endurance in one small package.

Last week I wrote about Sleepyhead # 1 battling the tummy bugs, and now her big sister is following suit. Here is the little one performing the famous couch nap:

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Her big sister, our gold medal contender, age 3 1/2, has a long career in Olynapping, as its fans lovingly call it, and is especially known for her ability to nap in any position, situation, or space. She has fallen asleep in strollers, boxes, chairs and tents, on couches, beds and the floor. As long as she has her trusty fuzzy blanket, so essential to her sport, victory is hers.

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Even as an infant she dreamt of Olympic gold:

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And soon mastered the peacefulness technique:

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As a precocious youngster, she even attempted to nap while eating chocolate cake!

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A very self motivated Olynapper, she sometimes puts herself to bed, just to get a little more practice in.

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She is much praised by the judges for her capacity to sleep though all sorts of chaotic noise without even stirring.

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A further note must be made about her endurance: in today’s contest, Olynapper vs the icky tummy, she slept almost the entire day, with only a brief foray from her Oly-tent to imbibe some hot chocolate.

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To what does she attribute her great success in Olynapping?
Her new “ear muscles” and wearing large amounts of purple!

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The Perfect Parent Lives in Timbuktu (and is likely a Sasquatch!)

I haven’t met the perfect parent. It’s not me. It’s likely not you either.
But that’s ok. Children are born of love, not perfection.

Still, sometimes we wonder if there is a scientific formula for being the perfect parent, a special combination of elements that will help us get it just right.

Our society encourages this; we are told we must have the right economic, educational, medical, emotional, and intellectual circumstances to responsibly have a child. It seems a very dangerous and risky business, and one must be perfectly prepared.

Sometimes people wait their whole lives to be perfectly ready. Baby room painted just so. Millions in the bank. 800 parenting books read. Relationship so stable it makes mountains look wispy and wobbly. Health just so, taking the right 60 vitamins, and doing yoga 10 hours a day.

What happened to something that used to be so natural? A creative overflow of love? Isn’t the sincere love between parents already giving your child a lot, especially in today’s world?

But our fear of being imperfect parents in an imperfect world really paralyzes us so much as a society. We fear traumatizing our kids and are haunted of visions of their future therapist’s couch before they even leave their cradle.

We are told we better consult the experts constantly, because we as “mere parents” (just rabbits really) know nothing. I don’t think all this fear is actually making us better parents, just less confident and optimistic ones.

If we risk having one, we think we shouldn’t have another, because we’re not perfect yet. The funny thing is though, that having another child helps us to grow better, more mature, relaxed and confident, and therefore helps our first child, too. Experience is a good teacher.

So please don’t let fear of your imperfection stop you from loving; that would be a terrible tragedy. None of us had perfect parents, but we’re still glad to be here, in this messy, imperfect, absurdly beautiful world.

While I haven’t met perfect parents, I have met perfect babies.
Actually many of them.
More specifically, ALL of them.
Each baby is perfect.
A perfect gift, a perfect miracle, a perfect parcel of love.
Each one makes the world more beautiful. That means you, too.

Siblings help each other to grow as well, precisely through their imperfection, their foibles and stubborn streaks; experiencing all this children learn, in a context of love, how to get along with, embrace and accept others.

If we are teaching our kids to love, to care for others and help them when they are down, we are doing a lot toward making the world a better place.

My kids can squabble as much as the next ones, but I was happy to see my older girls stepping up and caring for the younger ones this week when they weren’t feeling well. Here’s a picture of my 5 year old reading bedtime stories to her little sister. Without being asked. That made me really happy.

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So stop worrying about being perfect, unless you want to go live with the Sasquatch, who can maybe give you some pointers.

Personally, I think what you need as a parent is love, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and grow, because as much as parenting will make your children grow, it’ll make you grow more.

Happy trails! And may you be abundantly blessed in love.

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Sleepyhead vs. the Tummy Bug

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Today my little one battled it out with a nasty tummy bug, using the best arsenal she had: closing those luscious blue eyes and sleeping whenever, and wherever she could, always accompanied by her special beige blankie. She napped on the carpet, on the couch, in her bunkbed, and most sweetly, in her highchair.

Although a few of my kids having fever and stomach flu aren’t the highlight of my week, I’ve got lots of things to be grateful for: my kind landlord who came right away and spent two hours repairing my oven when the oven door handle fell off earlier that day (a tricky task, we discovered!), Ida who gave me loads of lovely bread from Cobbs to feed my little monkeys, Milton who brought us muffins, Maria who come over today and helped me make dinner and clean up, too (using all the courage necessary to face my jungly sink and baby’s banana-covered highchair), and Natalie, who offered to drop off anything we needed, or even just felt like.

Sometimes, when life hands you a little icky flu, you see how surrounded by love you really are.

Yippee: Debt Free

This Valentine’s my husband gave me a wonderful, unexpected gift. He paid off my last, our last, student loan. Six substantial loans gone…debt free!

After 4 years of living in a one-bedroom apartment with the kids to save money, 8 years of taking the bus because we couldn’t afford a car, cutting my own hair to save the money, 8 years of handing over every extra cent to pay them off, every tax refund, every little windfall, we finally did it. Paid off a massive amount of student loan debt on one modest income, and now we are free!

It is a wonderful gift. My husband works so hard and sacrifices so much for us. I am truly grateful.

So, you ask, what did you get him for Valentine’s?

Well, a sandwich.

What?!

I tried to make it the yummiest one I could: tomato bocconcini with fresh spinach leaves, homemade olive oil and balsamic dressing, full of basil, oregano and garlic…roasted in the oven, with juicy purple olives on the side…but yes, a sandwich.

And a card I coloured with my three year old:

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It doesn’t really compare does it? To thousands of dollars? But you know, we each gave our gifts with love, and we’re both happy.

It’s not a competition, and besides, I am happy to be outdone by him. Happy to be forever indebted to him, who has given me so much. I don’t mind needing him.

After watching a sweet romantic comedy called “Just Like Heaven,” I listened to him falling asleep, breathing slowly and holding my hand. Our fingers were squeezed together until I couldn’t tell if the faint “ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum” I felt between my them was my pulse or his.

Being vulnerable and needing each other, each on our own ways, helps us stay close. And isn’t that what Valentine’s is all about?

Why Being a Mom is a Lot Like Being a Rock Star

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1. You have a loyal fan club who follows you around screaming.

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2. You have no privacy. There is paparazzi even in the bathroom.

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3. Cute people want to jump in your bed at all hours. People will do anything to spend time with you.

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4. In the morning, the signs of partying hard are all there. It looks like wild animal stuck to your head, and then got electrocuted.

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5. “Normal” noise levels are much louder for you than for most people. You host a lot of impromptu dance parties.

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6. People copy everything you do…for better or for worse…

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7. Lots of people you know are addicted to the bottle.

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8. Your sense of fashion has drastically changed since you entered your current career.

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9. You’re no stranger to feeling pukey in the morning.

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10. You’re more ‘creative’ when you’re in love, and lots of people are in love with you.

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Rock on, fellow moms! You are stars! Keep making that sweet music…

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